Turning over a new leaf...

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Looks like your having a wonderful time in your new home! I agree that little chestnut butt is SOO adorable! :D

LOL! I never noticed the little dude running in circles was under "Bunnies". LOL!

And hugs for you and your father. :hug:
 
Thank you, Boz! We're really enjoying Edmonton...and it's now less than two weeks until our move! YAY! Couldn't come soon enough, either! We're having a time trying to all get along in this tiny place...but we're all hanging on for the move. I can't believe how much easier it is to get a place here!

Thank you for the hugs for me and my dad. He's doing okay...one day at a time. :)

And LOL...yeah, I put that there when we still had nine, before we lost six of them, because sometimes it felt like that when we were feeding them, or really doing anything for them! LOL! I really love having that many, though...so I plan on adopting more buns from the local humane society once we're moved and settled in. :)

Hugs to you and yours! :D
 
I'm so frustrated...

Danny getting a job is easier, given that he's already a citizen (and has been all his life), but getting certified for what he wants to do is proving difficult. We can find plenty of information on how to immigrate here, but none for someone that's returning. It's hard to see him so discouraged and frustrated and feeling so useless in general. My husband is really only happy when he's working hard...so him being out of work for so long is wearing on him.

Not to mention, though it's only nine days away, moving day can't seem to come fast enough. Mr. Grumpy Chef (one of the roommates) is increasingly difficult to live with, and has started somehow assuming I'm here to meet any demands...as if the woman of the house is there to serve the men. I've got one thing to say if this persists after the move: I'm married to DANNY, and NO ONE ELSE! And, I'll say it just that way, too...if I feel I need to.

At the end of the day, though, I'm beyond happy to be living here in Canada. And I don't regret it a bit. When it comes down to it, things will work out and we knew it would be a difficult start.

I thank goodness that we're living with someone (my FIL) that is willing to help us financially, and is more than willing to do even the little things, like pick up certain foods we like and be sure we've got all the toiletries we like, etc. I'm really enjoying getting to know him.

I miss my dad...but I can call him anytime I want, so at least I can be in contact with him.

I still get to talk to friends and family via various messenger programs, so that's good. :)

*sigh* I guess all that to say...I love it here, even if it's difficult getting started.

:)
 
Rosie, I can't say how awesome it is to have you back, I just can't! I love your photos and stories! Thank the Lord that you didn't give up! It just shows he hears you, Ro!;)

I love and miss you and your fam:)!
 
Thank you so much, Hun...I really appreciate it. :)

We've been fighting for survival for so long...I'm happy to see things finally getting better for us. It's nice not worrying about food or a place to live. It's nice that his dad is so wonderful and giving. I just can't explain what a difference it is being here.

I think y'all are going to notice a much more relaxed and happy Rosie! :)
 
Patience seems to be the word of the day right now...

I have just a few days before we move into the bigger place (not sure when we'll get the internet up there, but it better be QUICK), and it seems that everyone here is just on everyone else's last nerve. My FIL and I are having a rough time. He's a 56yo effective bachelor (he was married to Danny's mom, but they got divorced some twenty years ago...and he's been a complete bachelor ever since, and that was his only marriage...so there ya go), and hasn't had kids around since Danny was about five, so he's got VERY little patience with children, and seems to think I require education in parenting. I personally resent when people do such things, and have lately been avoiding him like the plague. I went off on him verbally the other night, because he made Emily feel just plain AWFUL...and NO ONE does that to my little girl!! Danny's out with him right now, talking to him to help him understand that (a) I DO NOT require help or education in parenting (he has stated that Em has me "wrapped around her little finger" and when I stated that "NO ONE is okay telling me how to parent my child" he said, "Oh yes I do!" and wouldn't listen to anything else...so I walked out on his words), that (b) he's making his granddaughter feel like crap with his words (in her words, "I feel like I'm viewed as just a 'dumb kid', and I feel like a piece of meat around here...not a real person"). Needless to say, he needs to watch what he says and have sensitivity about what's spoken.

So, today I find myself really angry. He said what he said to her (not to mention the insensitive jerky things he said to me) on Sunday, I cried my eyes out that night, and then confronted him when she was crying her eyes out about it yesterday. Today, he and Danny are out talking about things. Danny's going to remind him (yet again) that Emily is NINE YEARS OLD, and every kid pushes their parents' buttons (comes with the turf), that she's a great kid, has a great heart, is amazing intelligent, and that we've all three been through a lot the past nine months. I don't need his help parenting her. The problems he's seeing right now are only due to the fact that I cannot send Em to her room as a disciplinary action (and haven't been able to for nine months now), so things don't really fully get handled...but we do what we can.

At any rate, I hope the talk between the two of them comes to some fruition, and my FIL learns more about us, and understands a little more where we're coming from about things. One can only hope, right?

As far as everything else...just waiting until Saturday when we can start the move!! :D I told Danny that I want us to spend that night sleeping for the first time in our new place, due to our desperate need for our own space. That way, my FIL, if he doesn't want to do the same, can at least sleep in the space here that was once his bedroom, on his bed.

The tough thing: we do not have beds (in other words, mattresses), so we're going to be sleeping on the floor until Danny gets a job and brings home money we can at least buy mattresses with. BUT...it's okay...just having our own space will be WONDERFUL!! Then we'll work on other things, such as a partition to separate our bedroom from the livingroom...buying kitchen items (dishes, pots & pans, etc., which will come from thrift stores at first)...getting a small fridge so we can have some of our own food downstairs with us, etc.

It'll all work out, and I know it. If various things remain difficult even after we move, we'll use the first money Danny brings home to find our own place, even if it's a one bedroom place. Bottom line...things can only improve. :D

Hugs to everyone!

Rosie*
 
Rosie:

I know you probably won't like hearing this, but step back and look at this from your FIL's point of view. He has graciously welcomed you, your daughter, and your rabbits and catsinto his home and is even moving house to accommodate you. Have you considered that perhaps it has turned his life upside down and he is unsure how to deal with the situation. I'm sure it's as difficult for him to adjust to it as it is for you. I can understand your anger at his criticism of you, but consider that he is not used to having small children around. Please just take a deep breath and have more patience.

You have a great attitude and I'm positive that everything will turn around for you. However, as long as your FIL is subsidizing your family and you are living under his roof, you need to appreciate the support you have and keep a positive relationship even though you have to bite your tongue sometimes. Remember that it was you that moved into his house.

I hope you don't hate me for saying these things. I am just giving an impartial point of view. It is a stressful situation, to say the least. Huge hugs from me to you. I said these things as a friend.
 
Oh Patti...I don't hate you in the least...and I don't begrudge anyone their opinion. :)

I can see how my post might have given the impression that I wasn't being grateful for being here...and maybe I wasn't at the time, to be honest. It's hard hearing someone tell your daughter that the way she speaks sometimes makes her sound ignorant (when she was mentioning that she asked her friend why Canadians finish sentences with "eh" sometimes). She didn't understand why he said that, and it really hurt...but I know that at the end of the day he didn't mean it as harsh as it came out...he just has days where he doesn't add any sensitivity to his words, or censor his thoughts before they come out. That was one of those days.

It's hard to appreciate being here when you're being made to feel like that...and that's just one example of several that afternoon/evening.

But...and I want to make this very clear...we HUGELY appreciate living here, and not feeling our very survival constantly threatened. No, it's not the best situation in the world, but we have food, and somewhere to live...and that's better than we've had in the previous eight months before getting here.

To be fair, I do have to mention that my FIL and his roommates had already been looking for a house that size to move into for a month before we even mentioned moving here...but at the same time, moving there will be a grand thing...and I'm immensely thankful for it.

I hope that my past posts show how grateful I am for being here, and how happy I am 95% of the time. It just is difficult with my FIL sometimes, and difficult with one of his roommates sometimes. They both have a rather cynical view of women, so Em and I get targeted with things...which makes my life rather difficult at times.

BUT...I'd take this over not having guaranteed food or shelter ANY day of the week! :)

Basically, I was just venting over what I'd experienced that day...but didn't mean for it to sound like I didn't appreciate what I have. My apologies for that.

At the end of the day, Danny talked with his dad, and was able to show him a bit more about us and our previous experiences as a family, so he could understand us better, and understand that it's not that I don't discipline her as much as she should be, but that we don't have any way to do that here. I don't spank my kid silly, I just send her to her room for five or ten minutes (sometimes fifteen if it's warranted) ... and he is more for the spanking and rough discipline aspect of raising kids...so in his eyes, nothing's being done simply because she doesn't really have *her* room to go to, and thus he doesn't see things handling with her like they should. He thought I was letting her get away with things, when really, I had no way to handle things with her properly.

Sometimes we get too close for comfort here...but if there's one thing I can say for my FIL, Danny, Em, and myself...we're more than able to communicate about whatever's bothering us...and we do. I know my FIL has a good heart, but he also has a past, and it doesn't include much of a good view of women in general. So we butt heads occassionally, and I have to remind him that I won't take that kind of treatment sitting down, and then things are fine for a while, lol.

One thing Danny said to me before we moved here, "You're going to have to stand your ground with him because he will bulldoze you if he sees he can." And he couldn't have been more accurate. I have to assert my own personal mental strength with him almost constantly, or I feel run over. I am learning to not let his words bother me as much...the other night being an obvious exception, and only because I saw how his words affected Emily. Danny had tried to talk to him about it that night, but he wasn't in any mood to listen to how he'd affected her...so he had to try again the next day.

Anyway, there ya go. Things are and will be fine. I just have to maintain my own position on things with him and remind him that I'm a person, too...and a strong person at that...and that's what he respects. :)

Hugs!

Rosie*
 
JadeIcing wrote:
:pssd:You don't tell a child they sound ignorant. Just adults. :)*hugs to Em*
Click to expand...
That was my thought on it...it really hurt her to have someone say that to her. She's the most intelligent kid I've ever known! She's NINE...she's SUPPOSED to ask questions! I've always taught her that she should feel the freedom to communicate anytime she feels the need to. Yes, sometimes I hear things that I would rather not...but at the same time, keeping the communication open with her is more important.

I wish my FIL wouldn't have days like that. He can be a real gem of a man, if he watches how he says things. I've had a really great time getting to know him, hearing about his past, his life growing up, seeing what he likes to do (he can sit for hours at his computer reading online books). He and I usually get along great...but it's those days, the days where he turns into a callous jerk, that really ruin things for me for a bit. Then he's himself again, and things are okay between us (like
yesterday). It's odd being so back and forth with someone...to hear how much they love you one day, and the next having him say things I wouldn't think someone that'd professed love would say. Makes me miss my dad something awful.

Anyway, I hope what I said makes sense, and ties things together better...
 
Well, guys...the big move to the big house is tomorrow!! YAY!!

That's the good news.

The bad news...we won't have internet again until the 5th. :grumpy:

BUT...we'll be busy doing things anyway, so it won't be the end of the world, I guess..


Hugs to everyone!!
 
You need a library membership to get access to the computers. If you explain your financial situation, they might forgo the membership fees.

Pm your phone number in case I call.
 
Oh my goodness, you're right! I haven't updated how things are! LOL...

Well, we're all moved in and things are mostly put away. They're put away for us, mostly put away for the others in the household. I've worked long and hard to put together the kitchen, and have claimed it as my favorite area of the household. My FIL has officially deemed it my kitchen, and has let everyone know that because I took all the time to unpack things for it, it's now my room. :)

Mr. Grumpy Chef has been slightly aggressive since moving here, but it's much easier to handle, because I can just come downstairs to our "cave" and let it roll off my back. We've got the computer and TV set up down here, so we don't have to really leave unless we're hungry. We're enjoying that. :)

Things are much better with my FIL. Each having our own space has really gone a long way to handle anything that'd bothered us before. We've had a couple disagreements, but handled them with ease, so it's okay.

Right now, we're working hard (or I should say, Danny's working hard) to get the money to get the various things we need to be able to rebuild the bunnies' cages.

I've moved Maisie into the biggest carrier (she was starting to get stressed, so I figured she could use the space...it's a carrier that you could fit a med/lg dog into) and Fiver has the next size down, as he's our biggest bun. They're doing really well, though.

Teddy's become rather adventurous...he's out his door the second I open it to feed him, and I let him wander around (following to be sure he doesn't get near wires or anything that could harm him). He's really enjoying his little jaunts. :)

Let's see...what else...

Em and I haven't yet explored the parks in the area...we've been enjoying our place so much, and she's been really happy to have a backyard to play in. :) But, we anticipate doing so in probably the next week (or the following one, since it's supposed to get quite warm this week).

Danny's been working really hard. He gets up at about 4am everyday, doing temporary labor work for various companies (through a temporary work agency). It stresses him to not be doing electrical work, but he's also happy to be able to provide for us. Something nice...for the first time, we've figured out how to make him a workday lunch, so I've been really enjoying providing that for him everyday. He loves it, too, because he gets a little special thing from me everyday. :)

I've been loving the kitchen and how much bigger it is...plus the fact that it's open to the dining area, so I can talk to my FIL while I'm cooking, and Em can come up and sit at the table with him. We're all nice and chilled out, much less stressed than we were all cramped in that apartment. So we're really enjoying getting to know one another (my FIL, Em, and me).

The kitties are SO HAPPY, too! I swear all I hear from them is purring anymore. Sunny has really been thanking me A LOT for being here...purrs and rubbing on my legs and arms CONSTANTLY. It's so cute!! And it's SO NICE to see them so happy!! :D

So, things are getting better...one day at a time. Add to the mix the fact that we learned that Danny's technically a first year apprentice now, which means he can get a job as something other than a "starter" and make more money...and we're doing really great!!! :D

Hugs to all!

Rosie*
 
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