katherine at sacred stories
Well-Known Member
My heart still aches with sadnessand secret tears still flow. What it meant to loose you, know one will every know.
_________________________________________________________________
Scout passed away on April 21, 2012. She was my first rabbit, my teacher and the light of my life. She was a gentle, loving, intelligent, sensitive and very industrious brown agouti bunny with a lovely white stripe in the middle of her face. I found the Rabbits Online site because I was grieving so much. I wanted to find the right place to tell her story to people who would understand and appreciate her.
I was minding my own business one day when an unexpected knock came at my door. I opened it and ayoung mother I knewwas holding up a cage with an adorable brown baby rabbit in it.She asked if I would keepthe bunnywhile they went away for a month. I said I knew nothing about caring for rabbits. She said "Nothing to it. She stays in her cage and you just have to give her food and water." The food they left with her was chicken food.
At the time, I shudder to say, I didn't know any better. I put the cage on a table near my bed. I looked at the bunny. The bunny looked at me as if she were were waiting for me to catch on to something. As I moved around the room, her eyes followed me and I could almost "hear" her saying, "Don't leave me in this cage." I put the cage on the bed and opened the door. She hopped out of the cage and started to run in circles around me on the bed. I lay down on the bed and she came and "flopped" in the crook of my arm. She turned and looked up at me as if to say "I thought there was hope for you." She never went back in the cage.
I ordered a copy of "House Rabbit Handbook" and began feeding her pellets and hay and greens and fruit. She was easily litter box trained. She slept in the bed with me at night, snuggled between my shoulder and neck. I was groomed and nibbled but the nibbles were always gentle.
When we got up in the morning,Scout would keep her eyes on me and follow me through the house into the kitchen. She would look at me before she touched anything and, though my house was full of antique furniture, she never chewed it. It was as if the look of concern on my face was enough to deter her from chewing the antiques. I would give her willow toys or cardboard and say "That's OK" and she would proceed to chew.
I bunny proofed the house, putting books and chords and plastic out of the way. A stray copy of Alice Bailey's "From Bethlehem to Calgary" was forgotten under the bed, however. All but the back cover was eaten. Scout suffered no apparent effects from that feast but I thought she must be a very holy bunny.
Everything about Scout was a surprise. I was worried that my kitten, Gracie, would scratch or chase her. Instead, Scout chased Gracie. Soon, they bonded and I would walk into a room and find the two of them sleeping with their arms around each other. Startled, they would wake up and lift their little heads and look at me guiltily, as if I had discovered their clandestine love affair.
Scout loved cherry tomatos. I gave them to her as an occasional treat but I noticed that she seemed to be acquiring them on her own, even though they were kept in a bowl on top of the refrigerator. The mystery was solved when I saw Gracie on top of the refrigerator knocking cherry tomatos down to an eagerly awaiting Scout. Coincidence? Maybe. But it does seem that bunnies have certain powers...
By the time Scout's family came to get her, I was enchanted. But she wasn't my bunny and off she went. I will never forget the look she gave me when they walked out the door with her.
I couldn't get Scout out of my mind. I told myself it was ridiculous for a 60 year old woman to be smitten with a rabbit. My friends told me I was crazy to have a rabbit in a house with all the antiques and even more so for letting a rabbit sleep with me. I told myself I needed to let this go.But I couldn't stand to think of that brilliant, lively, loving little soul being back in the cage.
About three months later, I heard that Scout's family was planning to return her to thefarm where they had gotten her. That was too much. I called them and told them I would take her. They were delighted and said they would bring her back. When their truck pulled up, I went outside to meet them. I could see Scout in her cage but her back was toward me. She looked terrified. She was trembling and hunched. I called out "There's that bunny I love so much!". I saw her little body relax completely at the sound of my voice. After three months, she still knew my voice and knew everything was going to be OK. She turned around to look at me and was completely calm and happy. Inside, she bounded out of the cage and we picked up where we left off.
Except she would never go near any sort of a cage again, no matter how big. I wanted to give her food and hay in an open cage so that I could use it for vet visits. So I set up a cage and put her absolute favorite treats and foodsinside. She walked over to the cage, sniffed in the door, and looked back at me. I "heard" her say, "I will starve to death before I ever set foot into one of those again." I got it.
During the next seven years of Scout's life, she continued to have an uncanny ability and desire to tune in me. I never needed to"train" her. I can't explain it. What seemed to happen wasa mutual desire to understand each otherand do what made the other comfortable. She always seemed to be watching for a sign as to what was OK and what was not. And she was just as good at letting me know what she wanted and I was just as eager to make her happy. She just meshed with my routine.
Scout followed me through the house as I did my chores, helping where she could. When it was time to mop the kitchen floor, however, she needed to wait on the screened porch off the kitchen. She would hop on a table where she could see me through the door and stretch out.
Scout loved cuddles and pets as much as she loved her food. She knew the names of her treats and, of course, came running...but she came running just as eagerly for love and attention. She would stay put for snuggles and pets for as long as they were offered.
When I worked at the computer, she flopped on my feet and put her paws around them and fell asleep. She cuddled in my arms when I watched TV. One night, the movie "MaMa Mia" came on with its music by ABBA. She looked at me and her eyes got wide. She hopped to the floor and started jumping straight up in the air, again and again. Either she really liked ABBA or she really didn't, I wasn't sure.
Eventually, a spare bedroom was converted as Scout's headquarters. Since Scout would not go near anything that resembled a "cage", I had to improvise. A table was covered with sheets to make her sleeping nest filled with baby blankets...hay and food was put in boxes and baskets around the room. Layers of cotton sheets and baby blankets, empty boxesand toys covered the floor. Cat beds weredraped with baby blankets for lounging. Those were the basic materials that Scout worked with. She spent hours moving the sheets and baskets and toys around and, ineach spring and fall she would do a major overhaul of the area. She would push the layered sheets into tall towers or mounds. She would arrange them to provide cover. Sometimes she would stuff them under the table and then pull them out. It was amazing what an engineer she was.
Scout'sfavorite poet was Emily Dickinson. I had a group of people over one night and we were reading poetry. Scout was stretched out at my feet. When I read an Emily Dickinson poem that goes "Wild nights, wild nights, were I with thee, wild nights would be our luxury..." Scout jumped up and ran in circles around the group, binkieing as she ran. My guests were amazed. They asked if I had trained her to do that. "No," I said "She just wants to be included if we are planning any wild nights."
After reading "The House Rabbit Handbook", I pretty much cleaned up Scout's diet and followed the rules. The only exception was pizza crust and I hope that was not a mistake. It was her favorite treat and I would pull off tiny bits of the crust only. She knew when I called to order a pizza and would go and sit by the front door until it came. When she saw the delivery man come up the stairs she would begin to binkie. And, I thought, now THAT'S an urban rabbit. On one occasion, I was sharing a pizza with a friend. We were sitting on the sofa with the box in my lap. Scout was sitting at our feet. I pulled off a tiny bit for Scout but before I could give it to her, she grabbed the entire pizza out of the box and attempted to flee with it across the room. Perhaps the most comical thing I have ever seen. Scout was hidden under the pizza as it seemed to be moving under its own steam. It was as if she thought I had pulled off the tiny bit for myself and the rest was HERS. One of the few times I ever had to correct her.
Scout was only aggressive on one occasion in her life. I do training seminarsin "non-violent crisis intervention" for staff who work with people diagnosed with autism. My boss was at the house prior to a workshop and he is a large man with a full beard. He was showing me a "non-violent" restraint technique. He held my arms and lowered me to the floor to demonstrate. Scout who had been hanging back because she didn't know this man, came racing out from under a table--ears back, front tooth extended threateningly. She bit onto the man's pant leg and attempted to pull him away from me. I had to move away and call her before she would let him go. She was willing to challenge this huge bear of a man to protect me. And, she actually scared him quite a bit.
Every day, Scout and I did a "blessing" for all the animals in the world. I would kneel on the floor with my arms out and Scout would run inside my arms and settle down. I would rub her nose and massage her body and whisper...
"Bless all the animals in the world-- in the woods, the forests, the fields, the meadows, the streams, the lakes, the rivers, the oceans, the mountains, the skies, the streets, the houses, the parks, the farms, the factories, the laboratories and the zoos. Bless, protect, comfort, embrace in love, heal where they need to be healed--all the animals in the world. But, especially,bless thisrabbit that I love so much, her name is Scout and she is the light of my life."
When I called, "comeforthe blessing",Scout wouldrace to me. She would settle herself in a very solumn way, as if she knew this was important for all the animals. She remained absolutely still throughout. If I forgot to do it on a particular day, she would not let me go to sleep until I did.
As time passed, that closeness, that ability to "tune in" increased. It seemed that I just had to think about doing something and Scout would walk in that direction. I would think to myself that I would get down on the floor and pet Scout and she would jump up and come to me before I made a move. I would be watching TV and think, I'm going to call Scout to come for pets and she would hop up before I said anything. She knew many words but, it seemed, she read the tiniest expressions, as well. She became sweeter and more mellow and more joyful.
When I first got her, people told me rabbits only lived a year or two. When I first started researching rabbits, I found they could live longer. When Scout made it to seven, I thought I had gotten the food and care down so that she might be with me even longer. The month before she died, she seemed so happy and energetic and loving. I thought she was doing well. But I think I missed some signs.
I noticed, once, when she stretched that she seemed to be putting on weight low on her torso. I was afraid she was getting a blockage there. But when I felt her tummy there was nothing so I thought it was just that she was getting older. On another occasion, she thumped at her litter box and looked at me. She often thumped when she heard a sound and looked at me. I would say "It's OK" and she would relax. So that's what I did. She may have been trying to tell me something. But throughout the month, she continued to seem so happy and healthy that I didn't catch on. I now feel that, if I had taken her to the vet then, she would still be with me.
She became very sick, very suddenly, with GI Stasis, on a weekend when vet help was not available. I did everything I knew to do for her but she refused all help and withdrew completely from me. Just before she died, she came to me and licked my hand and then put her head down in my hand. She screamed and she was gone. I held her and wailed and cried all night. I cried almost constantly for two months.
I have learned from this site that there were many things I could have done for her, at home, that could have saved her life and spared her suffering. I will never forgive myself for that. My only comfort is the memory of her joy in life and the opportunity totell her storyto others who understand and love bunnies.
Thank you for letting me share these memories of this extraodinary soul. It was a privilege to feel her love and trust, hear the patter of her dancing paws, feel her soft fur and kisses, learn the intricacies of her language. It was an honor to live in the ever-watchful, understanding, wise, bemused, expectant, adoring gaze of her incomparable brown eyes.
_________________________________________________________________
Scout passed away on April 21, 2012. She was my first rabbit, my teacher and the light of my life. She was a gentle, loving, intelligent, sensitive and very industrious brown agouti bunny with a lovely white stripe in the middle of her face. I found the Rabbits Online site because I was grieving so much. I wanted to find the right place to tell her story to people who would understand and appreciate her.
I was minding my own business one day when an unexpected knock came at my door. I opened it and ayoung mother I knewwas holding up a cage with an adorable brown baby rabbit in it.She asked if I would keepthe bunnywhile they went away for a month. I said I knew nothing about caring for rabbits. She said "Nothing to it. She stays in her cage and you just have to give her food and water." The food they left with her was chicken food.
At the time, I shudder to say, I didn't know any better. I put the cage on a table near my bed. I looked at the bunny. The bunny looked at me as if she were were waiting for me to catch on to something. As I moved around the room, her eyes followed me and I could almost "hear" her saying, "Don't leave me in this cage." I put the cage on the bed and opened the door. She hopped out of the cage and started to run in circles around me on the bed. I lay down on the bed and she came and "flopped" in the crook of my arm. She turned and looked up at me as if to say "I thought there was hope for you." She never went back in the cage.
I ordered a copy of "House Rabbit Handbook" and began feeding her pellets and hay and greens and fruit. She was easily litter box trained. She slept in the bed with me at night, snuggled between my shoulder and neck. I was groomed and nibbled but the nibbles were always gentle.
When we got up in the morning,Scout would keep her eyes on me and follow me through the house into the kitchen. She would look at me before she touched anything and, though my house was full of antique furniture, she never chewed it. It was as if the look of concern on my face was enough to deter her from chewing the antiques. I would give her willow toys or cardboard and say "That's OK" and she would proceed to chew.
I bunny proofed the house, putting books and chords and plastic out of the way. A stray copy of Alice Bailey's "From Bethlehem to Calgary" was forgotten under the bed, however. All but the back cover was eaten. Scout suffered no apparent effects from that feast but I thought she must be a very holy bunny.
Everything about Scout was a surprise. I was worried that my kitten, Gracie, would scratch or chase her. Instead, Scout chased Gracie. Soon, they bonded and I would walk into a room and find the two of them sleeping with their arms around each other. Startled, they would wake up and lift their little heads and look at me guiltily, as if I had discovered their clandestine love affair.
Scout loved cherry tomatos. I gave them to her as an occasional treat but I noticed that she seemed to be acquiring them on her own, even though they were kept in a bowl on top of the refrigerator. The mystery was solved when I saw Gracie on top of the refrigerator knocking cherry tomatos down to an eagerly awaiting Scout. Coincidence? Maybe. But it does seem that bunnies have certain powers...
By the time Scout's family came to get her, I was enchanted. But she wasn't my bunny and off she went. I will never forget the look she gave me when they walked out the door with her.
I couldn't get Scout out of my mind. I told myself it was ridiculous for a 60 year old woman to be smitten with a rabbit. My friends told me I was crazy to have a rabbit in a house with all the antiques and even more so for letting a rabbit sleep with me. I told myself I needed to let this go.But I couldn't stand to think of that brilliant, lively, loving little soul being back in the cage.
About three months later, I heard that Scout's family was planning to return her to thefarm where they had gotten her. That was too much. I called them and told them I would take her. They were delighted and said they would bring her back. When their truck pulled up, I went outside to meet them. I could see Scout in her cage but her back was toward me. She looked terrified. She was trembling and hunched. I called out "There's that bunny I love so much!". I saw her little body relax completely at the sound of my voice. After three months, she still knew my voice and knew everything was going to be OK. She turned around to look at me and was completely calm and happy. Inside, she bounded out of the cage and we picked up where we left off.
Except she would never go near any sort of a cage again, no matter how big. I wanted to give her food and hay in an open cage so that I could use it for vet visits. So I set up a cage and put her absolute favorite treats and foodsinside. She walked over to the cage, sniffed in the door, and looked back at me. I "heard" her say, "I will starve to death before I ever set foot into one of those again." I got it.
During the next seven years of Scout's life, she continued to have an uncanny ability and desire to tune in me. I never needed to"train" her. I can't explain it. What seemed to happen wasa mutual desire to understand each otherand do what made the other comfortable. She always seemed to be watching for a sign as to what was OK and what was not. And she was just as good at letting me know what she wanted and I was just as eager to make her happy. She just meshed with my routine.
Scout followed me through the house as I did my chores, helping where she could. When it was time to mop the kitchen floor, however, she needed to wait on the screened porch off the kitchen. She would hop on a table where she could see me through the door and stretch out.
Scout loved cuddles and pets as much as she loved her food. She knew the names of her treats and, of course, came running...but she came running just as eagerly for love and attention. She would stay put for snuggles and pets for as long as they were offered.
When I worked at the computer, she flopped on my feet and put her paws around them and fell asleep. She cuddled in my arms when I watched TV. One night, the movie "MaMa Mia" came on with its music by ABBA. She looked at me and her eyes got wide. She hopped to the floor and started jumping straight up in the air, again and again. Either she really liked ABBA or she really didn't, I wasn't sure.
Eventually, a spare bedroom was converted as Scout's headquarters. Since Scout would not go near anything that resembled a "cage", I had to improvise. A table was covered with sheets to make her sleeping nest filled with baby blankets...hay and food was put in boxes and baskets around the room. Layers of cotton sheets and baby blankets, empty boxesand toys covered the floor. Cat beds weredraped with baby blankets for lounging. Those were the basic materials that Scout worked with. She spent hours moving the sheets and baskets and toys around and, ineach spring and fall she would do a major overhaul of the area. She would push the layered sheets into tall towers or mounds. She would arrange them to provide cover. Sometimes she would stuff them under the table and then pull them out. It was amazing what an engineer she was.
Scout'sfavorite poet was Emily Dickinson. I had a group of people over one night and we were reading poetry. Scout was stretched out at my feet. When I read an Emily Dickinson poem that goes "Wild nights, wild nights, were I with thee, wild nights would be our luxury..." Scout jumped up and ran in circles around the group, binkieing as she ran. My guests were amazed. They asked if I had trained her to do that. "No," I said "She just wants to be included if we are planning any wild nights."
After reading "The House Rabbit Handbook", I pretty much cleaned up Scout's diet and followed the rules. The only exception was pizza crust and I hope that was not a mistake. It was her favorite treat and I would pull off tiny bits of the crust only. She knew when I called to order a pizza and would go and sit by the front door until it came. When she saw the delivery man come up the stairs she would begin to binkie. And, I thought, now THAT'S an urban rabbit. On one occasion, I was sharing a pizza with a friend. We were sitting on the sofa with the box in my lap. Scout was sitting at our feet. I pulled off a tiny bit for Scout but before I could give it to her, she grabbed the entire pizza out of the box and attempted to flee with it across the room. Perhaps the most comical thing I have ever seen. Scout was hidden under the pizza as it seemed to be moving under its own steam. It was as if she thought I had pulled off the tiny bit for myself and the rest was HERS. One of the few times I ever had to correct her.
Scout was only aggressive on one occasion in her life. I do training seminarsin "non-violent crisis intervention" for staff who work with people diagnosed with autism. My boss was at the house prior to a workshop and he is a large man with a full beard. He was showing me a "non-violent" restraint technique. He held my arms and lowered me to the floor to demonstrate. Scout who had been hanging back because she didn't know this man, came racing out from under a table--ears back, front tooth extended threateningly. She bit onto the man's pant leg and attempted to pull him away from me. I had to move away and call her before she would let him go. She was willing to challenge this huge bear of a man to protect me. And, she actually scared him quite a bit.
Every day, Scout and I did a "blessing" for all the animals in the world. I would kneel on the floor with my arms out and Scout would run inside my arms and settle down. I would rub her nose and massage her body and whisper...
"Bless all the animals in the world-- in the woods, the forests, the fields, the meadows, the streams, the lakes, the rivers, the oceans, the mountains, the skies, the streets, the houses, the parks, the farms, the factories, the laboratories and the zoos. Bless, protect, comfort, embrace in love, heal where they need to be healed--all the animals in the world. But, especially,bless thisrabbit that I love so much, her name is Scout and she is the light of my life."
When I called, "comeforthe blessing",Scout wouldrace to me. She would settle herself in a very solumn way, as if she knew this was important for all the animals. She remained absolutely still throughout. If I forgot to do it on a particular day, she would not let me go to sleep until I did.
As time passed, that closeness, that ability to "tune in" increased. It seemed that I just had to think about doing something and Scout would walk in that direction. I would think to myself that I would get down on the floor and pet Scout and she would jump up and come to me before I made a move. I would be watching TV and think, I'm going to call Scout to come for pets and she would hop up before I said anything. She knew many words but, it seemed, she read the tiniest expressions, as well. She became sweeter and more mellow and more joyful.
When I first got her, people told me rabbits only lived a year or two. When I first started researching rabbits, I found they could live longer. When Scout made it to seven, I thought I had gotten the food and care down so that she might be with me even longer. The month before she died, she seemed so happy and energetic and loving. I thought she was doing well. But I think I missed some signs.
I noticed, once, when she stretched that she seemed to be putting on weight low on her torso. I was afraid she was getting a blockage there. But when I felt her tummy there was nothing so I thought it was just that she was getting older. On another occasion, she thumped at her litter box and looked at me. She often thumped when she heard a sound and looked at me. I would say "It's OK" and she would relax. So that's what I did. She may have been trying to tell me something. But throughout the month, she continued to seem so happy and healthy that I didn't catch on. I now feel that, if I had taken her to the vet then, she would still be with me.
She became very sick, very suddenly, with GI Stasis, on a weekend when vet help was not available. I did everything I knew to do for her but she refused all help and withdrew completely from me. Just before she died, she came to me and licked my hand and then put her head down in my hand. She screamed and she was gone. I held her and wailed and cried all night. I cried almost constantly for two months.
I have learned from this site that there were many things I could have done for her, at home, that could have saved her life and spared her suffering. I will never forgive myself for that. My only comfort is the memory of her joy in life and the opportunity totell her storyto others who understand and love bunnies.
Thank you for letting me share these memories of this extraodinary soul. It was a privilege to feel her love and trust, hear the patter of her dancing paws, feel her soft fur and kisses, learn the intricacies of her language. It was an honor to live in the ever-watchful, understanding, wise, bemused, expectant, adoring gaze of her incomparable brown eyes.
