My Four Beautiful Girls

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Denise, Ive been thinking of you today. I hope you are doing ok. You and Rosie are both in my thoughts and prayers. I think everyone here felt like Trixie was a special part of the RO family. We all loved her so dearly and she will be so missed :(
 
NorthernAutumn wrote:
Oh my Lord... I don't know what to say, Rosie.
:bigtears:I am so so sad for the death of your girls. In some small way, I feel a tiny bit better it was heart attacks... fast. There is absolutely no way around this; there was no way you could have prevented this. You are not responsible for this in any way. You have always done your very, very best for your buns. Everyone on RO knows that.

:cry1:Big, Big, Big hugs to your family. I know your words to Em will be wise.
:pink iris::purplepansy::pink iris::purplepansy::pink iris:
Rest Softly, Sweet Girls...
You will be sorely missed.

Autumn

Autumn said it best. I am so sorry to hear about this loss...:hug1you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Denise
 
I am so sorry!:(

Everyone knows how much you love your bunny's and that you did everything you could. They are pain free now and doing binkies with all the bunnys across the rainbow bridge.
 
All of your thoughts and prayers and encouraging words mean so much, guys.

As you can tell, I called Denise...and we cried together for our Trixie, and the other three sweethearts.

I can't even put into words how I feel. I have just been taking things one day at a time, one loss at a time. We talked to Em that afternoon. Ivan and I picked her up from school (Danny was working...we need every penny we can get), and I talked to her in his livingroom before going outside. Ivan and I picked up as much of the scene as we could (fur, toys, etc.) before we had to go pick her up. I won't lie...she took it like a champ...but has had a really hard time since that first day.

We put their bodies to rest Saturday afternoon right next to our other two boys. It was so beautiful there, as the streambed that had been dry when we buried the boys was full of sparkling, bubbly water...and the sound was so comforting. The scene was so amazing. I took some pictures, but haven't had the ability yet to get them off the camera, as it's just too hard to look at.

We picked a special rock to represent each girl and put it on top of their grave...all four girls buried together, as it somehow seemed right that way. I picked a larger black & white rock for Trixie, to match colors, and because she was the largest of the four. A smaller white rock for Flower, a pinkish (I think it had some rose quartz in it) rock for SweetPea (who we called Pinky), and a much smaller dark rock for Cuddles. Like with burying our boys, it was so hard to leave the site...I felt like I was leaving them behind, even though I know they are no longer in those bodies as spirits.

It's such a double-edged sword. I'm so happy we still have our four: Teddy, Fiver, Maisie, and Cinnamon. But I miss Flower, Trixie, SweetPea, and Cuddles so so much. Our remaining four are getting so suffocated by my love, lol. But...I tell ya...I'm sure they're more than happy for any ounce they can get right now.

As I mentioned, we took all four to the vet. They're all four just fine. We didn't miss anything in checking them over, fortunately...and Fiver's missing patch of fur is just that: missing fur. I'm keeping an eye on all four of them (especially Maisie, as one of the dogs was trying to get at her when Ivan's father-in-law chased the other three away), to be sure we didn't miss any small puncture wounds and don't wind up with small abscesses. Thankfully, nothing missed so far.

It comes as no surprise to me that Maisie is VERY angry right now. She grunts and boxes me every time I try to pet her. It's understandable, given that she was next, and I know she knew that. They'd knocked her cage onto its side, and I'm sure she was afraid for her life, and knew it would be soon, if someone didn't come out to chase the dogs away. Phil (Ivan's father-in-law, who chased them away) said that the dog didn't even notice him at first, it was so focused on banging its head on her cage to try to get to her. Please pray I don't lose her, or any of them to heart attacks (as Cathy said, adrenaline poisoning). We're working very hard to help them calm down, and make their environment as positive and loving and wonderful as possible.
Fiver has finally started to move around and come over now. At first, for the first couple days, he wouldn't really come to me. He was still so in shock, I think. I just took it day by day, trying to get him to play with me, and be comfortable again. Finally, on Friday, I tossed him his wagon wheel, and he tossed it back. A couple times of this back and forth, and he came on out and sat next to me for love. I was so grateful to see him moving around again!

Teddy is a bit on edge, but less so everyday...and Cinnamon actually didn't seem to be too upset, and has been just fine since the moment she came "home" with us. (I say "home" because it's just difficult to view the room as home.)

I'm very grateful to the kitties...as Hobbes especially has been right there with the buns since they came "home". He checks up on them at least twice an hour, and even Sunny (who used to be REALLY jealous of them) can be seen guarding them and checking on them now and then. Not a jealous moment from her since they've been home...which is wonderful. Every time when I come home, they're both laying in front of their carriers, guarding while we're gone. It's so nice to see that family spirit with them. The two kitties have also relaxed a LOT since the buns came home...I think they must've felt like a big piece of the family was missing while they were gone.

You should've seen the people at the vet's. They were tearing up when we walked in, as I told them what happened when I made the appointment. Our wonderful vet, too, Dr. Lindberg, was almost in tears. Not only that, but I hadn't been able yet to tell her of Velveteen & Teeny's passings, so she was sad to hear of that as well (and they changed their records to reflect). It was such an incredibly sad visit.

As far as how we humans are doing...we're just taking things one day at a time. At times, it's just completely overwhelming, and we have to just stop and hug one another. All three of us are so upset...and Saturday was really difficult, putting them to rest.

I feel like a huge hole has been shot through our family. Six buns in three months... it's just so much to handle. I barely start adjusting to having lost one, and I lose another. I just don't understand it...I know how fragile they are, but I still expected to have so much more time with each of them. Trixie just turned three, Flower and SweetPea were just shy of turning three, and Cuddles, Teeny, and Velveteen were barely a year of age.

Ivan has called Animal Control to let them know the dogs are in the area. We suspect they live in the hills, and probably (though I hate to think it) live off of the wild bunnies that live in the area. Ivan said they were very clearly strays/wild dogs, so I really don't think they were anyone's "pet". I'd hate to think someone's pet would be so wild...but I guess you never know. Ivan said they acted and moved like a pack. I hope Animal Control can find them, or do something. They are a danger to all animals in the area. And you guys know how much I love dogs...but I have to admit, I've gotten a bit of a jaded view of them as of late. I hope that changes...but even Danny said there's not a single chance we'll ever get a dog in the future. He keeps picturing his little SweetPea trying to make a break for it, and just not making it, and I doubt he'll be able to picture dogs the same again. I don't wish the dogs harm, or death...just that the neighborhood be protected in whatever way Animal Control can.

When all is said and done...I take heart that my girls were together in the end. The fact that they had that much of a feeling of family and love that they stuck together warms my heart. I just wish they'd gotten that time together under better, happier circumstances. They didn't deserve what happened...and I wish I could've done something to prevent it. But, with those dogs, and seeing the power they had, to not only rip open the hard, tough cage mesh, but to BEND NIC panels almost in half...they just seemed to have been totally determined to get them.

Anyway, I know we'll be fine eventually...but I tell ya, this is a trying time. I'm having to be extra careful, as I'm quite sure I'm pregnant (I'll be taking a blood test to know for sure tomorrow evening), and I don't want this stress to affect the baby. I'll write more about this particular subject in my other thread about it.

Please keep us in your prayers. It's such a trying time for us. We'll be able to move soon (as Danny's about to make what we need to be able to get a place), but right now, it just feels so awful, being where we are.

Hugs to everyone.
 
:hug::pray:
 
Here are some pictures of the girls. I hope I can get through this without crying here in the middle of the library...

Please forgive the fact that these are all old pictures. I can't seem to figure out the password to the other Photobucket account I have. :grumpy:

Flower:

Flower at six weeks of age, just days after rescuing her from a former neighbor:

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Flower.jpg


Flower with her friend, Mr. Piggy...all grown up:

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Helping me play D&D (Dungeons & Dragons):

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Flower and Trixie were best buds, through cage walls. They laid together like this all the time:

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My one regret: She never did trust human hands enough for me to be able to pick her up or hold her without her being totally enclosed in a towel and then being tranced.

Trixie:

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And a cute picture I got of her belly. She had those spots ALL OVER!! Even on her tail! :)

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And my favorite Trixie picture...taken at Denise's before she flew over to live with us:

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Cuddles:

The day Emily first met her baby:

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This little one really lived up to her name:

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To show a full-view picture of her:

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SweetPea:

You can see why we called her "Pinky". All her features were pink...and check out those gorgeous blue eyes...

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The infamous nest-building picture:

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My favorite picture of "Wonky":

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We called her Wonky, too, because she'd broken one of her back legs when she was a baby bun (before we had her), and it never did set right. So, she was a bit slower than the other buns, and anytime she tried to thump, it was like a whisper, because she couldn't quite get that leg to fall right. Danny's not yet called her SweetPea since she's passed. I don't think he can quite confront the loss. So he's been calling her Wonky instead.

I hope you guys enjoy seeing pictures of them. My apologies about broken links...but at least you guys can see these and know how beautiful my girls were, inside and out.

Hugs to all.
 
I hope you don't mind but I had these of Trixie.

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I don't mind one bit, Ali. :)

I love that first one...she'd been with us in CA for just over two weeks at that point, and had already managed to make a complete mess!!

And Flat Bunny...who couldn't love that one! :)

Thank you for sharing those. :hug:
 
maherwoman wrote:
I don't mind one bit, Ali. :)

I love that first one...she'd been with us in CA for just over two weeks at that point, and had already managed to make a complete mess!!

And Flat Bunny...who couldn't love that one! :)

Thank you for sharing those. :hug:

I had them along with some of the cats on my computer. I knew I had pictures so I had to find them. I don't think I have more. :)It was because of her we first started talking. Than when you helped me through my loss of Sam.


 
oh i am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you and your family.
 
I really admire your strength, Rosie. You're mourning for your babies but you are still getting on with your life. You've been through so much hurt yet you are still planning ahead, taking action with animal control for those dogs etc.

I'm sending hugs and prayers your way
:pink iris:
 
Rosie, thanks for posting the pictures. They were such beautiful babies and it's so unfair. Poor girlies. I like dogs too but I don't know if we'll ever have one, I don't like the idea of having pets that can kill each other. I feel sad for the dogs too because it must be a hard life when you're a stray. That was brave of Phil to run out and chase the dogs off!

For some reason I didn't know what Flower looked like I thought she was just white. I love her eye markings and spots! She was the sweetest little baby. Sweet Pea was beautiful, she has a very dignified look to her. Cuddles was of course darling. I love loppies was the cutest moo cow bunny, she traveled so far to be with you.

The mental image of the bunnies being all relaxed and happy in their cages, taking naps and eating hay and flopping and playing with their toys, then having dogs knock over the fence you built and break into their cages and them trying to run away... It's so heartbreaking. Those poor babies. Poor Maisie thought she was going to die. Teddy, Fiver and Cinnamon must have been really scared with the dogs so close, even if they couldn't see what was happening. Thank goodness they're physically okay, hopefully everyone calms down quickly! Because Teddy and my Skyler both came from Jesse, I can't help but imagine if you'd taken Skyler instead. My Ky-bear would have been so scared to see all the dogs and his bunny friends being hurt.

The kitties sound so sweet guarding the bunnies. I hope you do get to move out of the hotel room as soon as possible. You've lost 6 bunnies in 3 months, I don't see how it could get any worse! I can't believe you only have four now, I joined the forum right after you got Fiver so you already had quite the herd.

Hopefully the test today will confirm that you're pregnant and you'll have that happy news to focus on.

Sorry again, Rosie!
 
jcottonl02 wrote:
I really admire your strength, Rosie. You're mourning for your babies but you are still getting on with your life. You've been through so much hurt yet you are still planning ahead, taking action with animal control for those dogs etc.

I'm sending hugs and prayers your way
:pink iris:
Thank you so much. I just wrote this to a friend:

*sigh* I wish I could say that I'm handling things well. I'm sure Danny and anyone that sees me would say that I am, but one little comment, and things hurt just as bad as they did that day. For instance, I was watching the Bonnie Hunt Show (LOVE HER!!), and she mentioned how wonderful she thinks animals are, and what wonderful, sweet companions they make. I just broke down crying right then and there...thinking of my babies that I've lost. I just take one day at a time...and when Em's having a hard time, I remind her to do the same. It's something my dad taught me as a teen, and I'll never forget it. It's not worth stressing tomorrow, or yesterday. Just living in today, and working on one thing at a time is what's best. So that's what I do.

I'm doing all I can to comfort our remaining four sweeties. Bought them loads of parsley and romaine today, so hopefully that helps raise their spirits. Maisie is so angry...it just hurts me to see her so upset. She lunges and grunts at me every time I open her cage door. I can understand being so angry after what happened...and Miss Maisie is normally mildly grumpy anyway, so not like it's a surprise. But, still, my heart hurts for her.

Fiver's doing better. His skin looks much better, and he's now moving around mostly like normal. I think he's still working through a lot. I'm still very convinced that he has at least a bit of trouble with his eyesight, and given that there wasn't any evidence that the dogs got to him, I think he panicked, and somehow got his fur stuck on something (maybe the side of his ramp, which I'm redoing when we move so that it can't happen again). It must have been horribly scary for him, not really
seeing what was happening, but hearing the dogs. My poor boy...

Teddy and Cinnamon are acting completely fine and normal, thank goodness. Both are a little more intense about their food than they were before, but that could just be in being such a small space.



I will be honest...I am in a tremendous amount of pain. I just try not to linger too much on it. Em's relying on me to be strong, so I take the time I'm away from her (while she's at school) to think about things and cry if I need to. Anytime she sees me cry, it causes her pain, and she's still so sad about losing her baby, I just can't let us fall into such sadness, ya know?

I just keep telling myself, "One day at a time..." I know it'll be incredibly painful when we move, seeing only four cages together. It's incredibly painful only feeding four, when I'm used to having so many more, and it taking so much longer than it does. I miss them so much.

I try not to let my thoughts go the direction of feeling like I didn't do enough... because I know that's not true. Despite the fact that I cannot think of another way we could've protected them, I still think there's must have been something more...something I'm not thinking of.

My heart aches...and below it all, I'm so sad all the time. But I try to always find the good things, and concentrate on those. That's what I'm trying to teach Emily, as well. Though right now, it's difficult to.

Anyway, I know we're gonna be okay...but I just wish I didn't have to miss so many sweethearts. I miss Teeny's special diet, and that big ol' body of his, and his big Thunder Thumps. I miss watching Flower snarfle hay and rubbing her chin on anyone's finger that came into her cage. And Trixie ringing her bell for her dinner, and her and Flower laying together through the cage walls. I miss that she would fight me like MAD when I would try to sweep her cage clean. That was the only time I would experience Trixie grunting/honking, lol.

I miss that I couldn't give Cuddles ANYTHING other than 1/4c of Bunny Basics T, because her tummy would go insane with ANYTHING else. I miss SweetPea's airplane ears, and her little goofinesses. She was so unique. And Velveteen with those amazing blue eyes, and that little tiny body of his...and how happy he was all the time.

Anyway, I am, through all this, so happy to have my four sweethearts. Every morning I wake up and check on them (in fact, I check on them constantly), and tell them how happy I am to see them and to have them. I thank them constantly for hangin' in there, and not letting go. I tell them all the time how much sadder Mama would be without them. I thank them for their braveness and their stubbornness and their wonderful querks. And I thank the kitties for being there for them, and watching over them when I'm not home. I'm just so thankful that we didn't lose ALL of them. I can't imagine if we had...

Thank you guys for all your sweet words, and for thinking of us so much. I love you guys...you are a real gem. Every word helps so much. Knowing that people are out there that care, and think of us, and pray for us...helps tremendously to help me and my family through this.

Hugs to everyone.
 
Rosie and family -- you know how much I love you guys. I'm just so sorry. I really hope that everything improves from here for you all. Be safe, friend.

Tr
 
Just a bit of an update.

I'm still having a really hard time dealing with losing my girls. I cried for a long time last night...and at first I couldn't quite figure out why. And then I remembered.

Flower's third birthday would have been on Saturday, and SweetPea's would have been this coming Wednesday. So everytime I open my calendar, I see their birthdays ... and I open my calendar multiple times a day. Every time I see those entries, my heart hurts, and I have to fight back tears. They should've been here...they should've gotten their birthday treats and song. And not having them around to sing to just hurts.

I continue to take life one day at a time...it's really all I can do to make it through all of this. We as a family just fight through each day. Em's doing fairly good. She still cries now and then about losing her baby...but it's less than it was. I try not to cry around her, so she doesn't get reminded all the time. I cry in the shower or after she's asleep. Danny's still really sad about losing his girl, too. We just take things one at a time.

I really wish I could be stronger...and everytime I cry with Danny, I apologize because I'm sure it doesn't help him heal from all of this. I know it's understandable to be so sad ... but I still feel bad. I hate to spread pain, ya know? Every now and then, I just take the time to cry, and let myself just deal with things a little at a time. It's really the best I can do.

I can't believe it hasn't even been a month yet. It feels like the past few weeks have been months instead. I take a lot of comfort in petting and loving on our four sweeties as much as possible. Taking all the time I can with them, whenever I want (which is so nice to be able to do now), helps so much ... and reminds me I have a lot to be thankful for.

And then I realize that my second, third, and fourth gotten buns are gone. Petting Maisie reminds me of Flower, and then I think of Trixie, and then SweetPea...all three gotten one right after the other. And then I think of Emily's Cuddles.

It's just so much to handle at once, guys. I know, comparatively, I'm doing good. But it hurts so bad, missing them. And I know it's not my fault...but they TRUSTED ME. They put their lives in our hands...and we failed them. I just don't know how to get past that. I made them actual, verbal promises to be there for them. Every animal we have gets that verbal promise when they come home to us...that they're safe here, that they'll be loved to the fullest extent for the rest of their lives...that they won't be forgotten or neglected. I know I didn't expect or cause those dogs to go there that morning...but I still feel so completely responsible. I know in my mind that we did all we could to protect them...but it doesn't help my heart to understand.

I wish I had a REASON...a WHY. Something to say, "Well, it happened so that this other thing could occur." But there's just nothing...and so I find myself having such a difficult time healing because I don't have any idea why it happened.

At least with losing Teeny, I could tell myself that it allowed Cinnamon to come home to us...not that it helps. I was crying about him and Velveteen last night, too. The pain is still so fresh about them, too.

UGH!! I hate this!! I hate being so sad. And, though it's not on the surface all the time, it's right below. The tears are ready to flow at the slightest sad thought. And then I walk over, and sit with our four remaining sweeties...and remind myself that I haven't lost everything. I remind myself that I have my husband, and my beautiful daughter, and our kitties. It helps to have them there to remind me.

Anyway, I hope to have more positive things to report soon. I hope to be able to say, "Hey! I'm doing SO MUCH better!" I just don't know how that's possible right now, though. My calendar is so full of birthdays and Gotcha days of sweethearts that are no longer with us. It's so hard.

Hugs to everyone,

Rosie & Family
 
Praying for you and your family, Rosie. My heart hurts every time I think about your babies being taken like this. It's so unfair.

*hugs*

Haley
 
Haley wrote:
Praying for you and your family, Rosie. My heart hurts every time I think about your babies being taken like this. It's so unfair.

*hugs*

Haley
Thank you so much, Haley. :hug:

And thank you to everyone offering words of encouragement. They help so much. :hug:
 
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