I'm back, lol.
Right, the first thing I want to tell you is that 'fat' is a word that means absolutely nothing. It is banded around as an insult, but it doesn't actually mean anything. Everyone (even those who are severaly emaciated) has fat on them somewhere, so really, if 'no one wants a fat model' then no one would be a model.
The only words you should be going by are underweight, healthy andoverweight. Those are words that are used in the medical world and can be very useful. Those words are used when working out your BMI and they mean you are a healthy weight, you are under healthy weight, you are over healthy weight. They are useful because they can help you to get into the healthy bracket, and to find a good healthy weight for your body. If you strive to not be 'fat' you will kill yourself before you succeed.
If you weren't comfortable being overweight, then it's good that you did something about it, however, you are doing it in an unhealthy way, and strangely enough, that actually makes you more inclined to put on weight because it completely screws up your metabolism. If you want to become a healthy weight then you need to do moderate exercise and you need to eat a healthy balanced diet of probably around 2000 cals a day. Anything under 1200 will put you into starvation mode which will screw with your metabolism.
I do agree about needing to feel comfortable with yourself, but do you? Changing your weight actually doesn't do that, especially if you develop an eating disorder. What will make you feel more comfortable, is more self esteem and mnore confidance. This can come hand in hand with losing weight, but it doesn't sound like it is doing, because you are withdrawing from society, which shows lack of confidence, as well as self esteem (and also maybe self worth?), so therefore losing weight hasn't actually changed much for you, by the sounds of it. Also, when does your weightloss stop Brandy? Do you have a 'target'?
I think it's very natural that you are petrified to lose the other members of your family and I guess them thinking about putting you into care actually made things worse because maybe you felt like they were abadoning you too, like your dad did?
When things happen in our lives those around us do the best they can, but sometimes they feel their best is not good enough and so they have to look at other options. When your dad died and you rebelled I suspect that they tried to do the best for you, and didn't feel they did their best, so they looked at other options, one being care. Why? Because sometimes being somewhere else, with people trained to support people who have been through the things you have been through, can be more beneficial than staying at home, or so they thought. It sounds like they were very scared, to be honest. I can completely see why you felt they were giving up though, but maybe actually what they were doing was looking for more hope for you?