I'm not sure what to do...

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Uh sounds like your in a bad situation right now. If he does go to the appointment then I would say to the pysch that you don't feel comfortable having him in the room because you've only known him a few weeks.
 
OMG girl!
First off, there is no way in hell that he should be anywhere near your psych appointment.
Second, the appointments are about you. Not your mom.
It is my opinion that you are going to have to be pretty direct about this with the psych. There is no way that your mother should be taking over your psych session.

I don't know your problems with school, Brandy, but I can't imagine that school would be much more stressful than being homeschooled by someone who obviously isn't listening to you.
I think that homeschooling can work, but only if the relationship between parent and kid is excellent. If your home is getting way too stressful with your mom not listening to your issues, and this boorish guy horning in all the time, going to school may be a good escape.

Just wanted to throw that out there... I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for you.
:hug:
 


I have a phobia of school so no, that wont work.:p

Plus, School time is the only time I can have with my mom with him not around. While he works.
 
Your mom is pretty lucky to have an understanding kid like you... I am so impressed that you are coping so well. This is hard to do, I'm sure...
I hope that your time with your mom is positive and productive :)
 
We talked about how my doctor wants to put me on a low fat diet. While my doctor said that I shouldn't lose weight anymore because I lost alot in the past 2 months. She told me to stay away from fatty foods.. HUH. he said not to lose weight, not , not to gain weight.

We talked about my mom's life as a kid and how she's trying to live through me. We talked about her not trusting me and my doctor said ' Well you have to gain trust ' . Okay so if me going out with my friends, getting in some trouble with people I don't know and calling her doesn't show her i'm responsible then I don't know what will.

We talked about Sparky, and my lack of going out with friends. I don't feel comfterble going out without my mom, or my brothers. We talked how i'm resorting to friendship through Sparky and Babii. Well I feel comfterble with them.. they love me no matter what I look like, or what I do. She said I need to take time away from them. I said no, It would be like taking a baby from thier mom.. I need them and they need me. She said ' Well their not you're baby's and you can't make you'reself think that they can go a few hours without interaction' Yeah well I can't.

Their the only ones I can really talk to.. it sounds stupid I know but it's true. Sparky and I are attached, I bring him when I sleep over at my brothers, I buy him stuff I bring him to the pet store so he could 'Choose' a stuffie. She told me that I was just waisting my money and that he din't need that. Well I know he don't NEED it, but I like buying it for him. He in no waygets babiedwhen he does something wrong. He has consequences but I don't think she got that.

The doctor asked my mom if when she goes out, if I call her. My mom said 'well, yeah' because I do. It's not like I call her every five minutes but I will call her if something happens or something like that. She told the doctor I called her Saturday night about my toe. She said ' Well, If I would of know it wasn't that bad I would'nt of given my tickets away and I would of just left' Oh, well.. thanks ?

I have pictures.. MY NAIL WAS BLACK. The doctor said 'You don't need to call you're mom unless it's super sirious and theres blood. Even at that you don't need to call her you know how to call 911' .. well...are you stupid ? Yeah if I hurt myself I will call her to tell her. I told her that ( not the part where I asked if she was stupid ) and she said 'Fine if you wont stop calling then you're mom should leave her cell phone at home'.

I told her that Eric's fiance is due in 3 weeks and if she goes into labour and their out somewhere my mom has to go pick up the suitcase at their house and even if they were at home we still want to be there. She told me ' Well why do youneedto be there, You're Moms the Grandma but you have no buisness to be there' I told her that Eric and I were very close and that I was the aunt, and the god mother and she wouldn't get over the fact that I had no buisness being there. Which to me, Is totally unfair since they both asked me to bethere. She said ' You're not going'. That pushed me over the edge because Eric and I were unseperable and she and I are getting close too and they invited me to be there in that special time and she's saying no!.

I walked out of the room and waited outside until my mom came out...


 
Now, I've seen my fair share of psychs, therapists, and general mental health people, so this is based on a lot of knowledge, and well, your psych sucks!

Your psych (she?) has not listened, nor tried to understand, nor tried to work through your problems, just tried to tell you different behaviour. You probably already know that some of your behaviours are not healthy, so that doesn't help. Has anyone mentioned different therapies to you like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)? Or any other type of therapy? Art therapy? Cognitive Analytical Therapy (CAT)?

Brandy that sucks, I'm so sorry. You need someone to help you work through all this, not make you feelworse and not listen to what you say.
 
I have a little problem with eating. I hate eating unless I have to. Or unless I get a headache because I cannot stand pain like headaches. She said to me ' Well you need to eat three meals and thats it.. no if ands or buts about it' .. well.. uhm.. it don't work like that ;)
 
No hun, it doesn't work like that at all. Eating issues are actually very rarely about eating, but about something behind them, and what iscausing them, and that is what needs to be addressed. The eating habits, and the anxiety and separation anxiety are all symptoms of something bigger, and that is what needs to eb addressed,not the symptoms.

In terms of eating, I don't know if you have a diagnosis or a particular mindset or anything, but in your heart of hearts can you see that your eating habits are not healthy?

Brandy, are you scared to lose them (being your mum and brothers)too?

Can you ask to see someone else? Like a counsellor or someone like that?



 
Yeah..

When I was younger my brother wanted to join the army. Siriously, I was scared for him. It makes you sick... not physically but mentally. Heck, look at my dad. He was a soldier and look what happend to him. This was long before my dad did that but still, when you go into a depression like that you can pretty much see it coming. I din't want him to go 'crazy' and have that happen to him. He eventually changed his mind. Him and I are close and I knew I could change his mind. I don't think I was being selfish but I think I was before more.. cautious. I din't want him to go through that. It wasn't my idea or my buisness to do that but I din't want to lose him. He was the only person I could talk to. Now he's paired with my Mom :X

Right after my Dad passed I almost, rebeld I guess. I wouldn't listen and all that fun stuff and my mom and my brother were always talking how I would be better in some sort of care. That scared the poop out of me.

I guess.. Everyone seems to be giving up - Litterally - and it's making me really mad.
 
Flashy wrote:
No hun, it doesn't work like that at all. Eating issues are actually very rarely about eating, but about something behind them, and what iscausing them, and that is what needs to be addressed. The eating habits, and the anxiety and separation anxiety are all symptoms of something bigger, and that is what needs to eb addressed,not the symptoms.
Click to expand...

I used to be, Chubby. I was 5'3 and almost 170 pounds when I was .. 12/13. Everyone would make little jokes and comments. One time.. my mom had her friend over and I mentioned that I wanted to model and he told me ' Well you're going to have to stop eating so much.. No one wants a fat model '. Thats when I started to lose weight pretty much. Because not that I wanted to model but that I din't want people to view me as 'Fat' not that it matters what people think but people respect you more when you're comfterble and I wasnt, being told I needed to lose weight when i'd try on the same shirt as my mom and it din't fit me.

I guess braces also helped. Like when I got them tightend it hurt so much all I could eat was soup and well, therres so much soup a girl can eat.
 
I don't have words right now (mainly because I have to be quick because I'm on my brothers computer) but I just wanted to give you a massive *Cuddle* I really feel for you and can see a lot of what you say, and also take it on board. I'll try and reply tomorrow when I'm not in a rush.

x
 
Brandy456 wrote:
She told me ' Well why do youneedto be there, You're Moms the Grandma but you have no buisness to be there' I told her that Eric and I were very close and that I was the aunt, and the god mother and she wouldn't get over the fact that I had no buisness being there. Which to me, Is totally unfair since they both asked me to bethere. She said ' You're not going'. That pushed me over the edge because Eric and I were unseperable and she and I are getting close too and they invited me to be there in that special time and she's saying no!.
Click to expand...
Wow! She should have no right to tell you that you aren't allowed to bethere to see your new family member be born! After all its your family!!! You have every right to be there.
 
I'm back, lol.

Right, the first thing I want to tell you is that 'fat' is a word that means absolutely nothing. It is banded around as an insult, but it doesn't actually mean anything. Everyone (even those who are severaly emaciated) has fat on them somewhere, so really, if 'no one wants a fat model' then no one would be a model.

The only words you should be going by are underweight, healthy andoverweight. Those are words that are used in the medical world and can be very useful. Those words are used when working out your BMI and they mean you are a healthy weight, you are under healthy weight, you are over healthy weight. They are useful because they can help you to get into the healthy bracket, and to find a good healthy weight for your body. If you strive to not be 'fat' you will kill yourself before you succeed.

If you weren't comfortable being overweight, then it's good that you did something about it, however, you are doing it in an unhealthy way, and strangely enough, that actually makes you more inclined to put on weight because it completely screws up your metabolism. If you want to become a healthy weight then you need to do moderate exercise and you need to eat a healthy balanced diet of probably around 2000 cals a day. Anything under 1200 will put you into starvation mode which will screw with your metabolism.

I do agree about needing to feel comfortable with yourself, but do you? Changing your weight actually doesn't do that, especially if you develop an eating disorder. What will make you feel more comfortable, is more self esteem and mnore confidance. This can come hand in hand with losing weight, but it doesn't sound like it is doing, because you are withdrawing from society, which shows lack of confidence, as well as self esteem (and also maybe self worth?), so therefore losing weight hasn't actually changed much for you, by the sounds of it. Also, when does your weightloss stop Brandy? Do you have a 'target'?

I think it's very natural that you are petrified to lose the other members of your family and I guess them thinking about putting you into care actually made things worse because maybe you felt like they were abadoning you too, like your dad did?

When things happen in our lives those around us do the best they can, but sometimes they feel their best is not good enough and so they have to look at other options. When your dad died and you rebelled I suspect that they tried to do the best for you, and didn't feel they did their best, so they looked at other options, one being care. Why? Because sometimes being somewhere else, with people trained to support people who have been through the things you have been through, can be more beneficial than staying at home, or so they thought. It sounds like they were very scared, to be honest. I can completely see why you felt they were giving up though, but maybe actually what they were doing was looking for more hope for you?
 
I spend alot of time at my cottage during the summer so i'd like to be able to be confident enough to wear my baithing suit around like everyone else. :p
 
Unfortunately, you may not find that confidence as you get smaller unless you can find other ways to build confidence.

When you restrict and don't allow your brain enough calories to function it actually warps your body image so you won't see yourself as you really look. Can you maybe ask for a dietician so that you can do this healthily and become healthy?
 
Ok.. I guess.

We planned to order Chinese food for dinner. Well 'he' gets off work at 11 and mom says it's inpolite to eat without someone ( Yet they do it to me ).

So i'm starving..

it's 9.

I asked to order something from the menu I loveee and she said no. Then I said 'well, i'll pay for it'. Still no. I asked why ' Because I can't eat spicy food', yeah well.. i can. And he asked her to order something spicy and she said yea.

Not fair.:grumpy:
 
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