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Taylor Rodriguez

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Sep 25, 2019
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Location
Wisconsin
I had a 6 month holland lop, her name was Berkeley. Berk and I did everything together, everything. She was my best friend, but my mom also enjoyed spending time with her.
I’ve been bunny sitting another bunny named Snowball. My mom had Snowball and Berkeley in her office room with her, and she went out for a bit. I had brought snowball out with me because berkeley was asleep. I later put snowball back in, but I didn’t take Berkeley out.
An hour later my mom comes up and says there’s something wrong with Berkeley. She was limp, and would lay on her side, couldn’t move her head, all very scary things. she also was doing almost a seizure like thing, her paws would shake. So, we took her to an emergency vet.
As we were being asked questions, we got the news Berkeley had passed away. The vet had told us it was like severe vertigo, but there were possible causes like cord chewing and a parasite. Berkeley had never been a chewer so we ruled that out, until we got home and my mom saw berkeley had chewed a cord.
I feel extremely guilty because as i mentioned, i didn’t take berkeley out, only snowball. I feel like if i took her out, she’d still be with me. my heart is absolutely broken. I feel so bad that she was in pain from the electricity, and that she had to suffer, and that I didn’t do my job keep her safe well enough. Please tell me, should i feel this guilt? I’m so losses
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's especially hard when you feel like you could've done something to prevent the death - I've been there myself, when I overlooked the onset of GI stasis in one of our rabbits a few years ago and didn't catch it and start treating her until it was too late. Hind-sight is 20/20... but in reality, no one can see and prevent 100% of preventable accidents. That's the scariest thing about being a parent or a pet owner, knowing that you can't control everything and that overlooking something seemingly small could lead to a very serious accident or even death.

It's important to forgive yourself. That's difficult and it takes time, but you need to learn to let go of the guilt. Remind yourself of all the great things you did for Berkeley and the wonderful times you had with her instead of dwelling on the one tragic mistake. Beating yourself up can't change the past. Berkeley is happily doing binkies on the other side of the rainbow bridge now, pain free. I'm sure she would forgive you for your mistake, because you showed her so much love during her short life. You may find it helpful to do things like having her cremated and/or holding a little memorial service for her with your family. Your mom can help you keep Berk's memory alive by telling stories and sharing laughs.

Binky free, little Berkeley! You clearly touched some hearts in your short life and I'm sure you'll always be fondly remembered.
 
So sorry for your loss. We have rescued 47 over the last 2 decades--one lived just short of 19 and have had several pass at a young age with no signs whatever--just how things are. Just love 'em and give them your best.
 
I had a 6 month holland lop, her name was Berkeley. Berk and I did everything together, everything. She was my best friend, but my mom also enjoyed spending time with her.
I’ve been bunny sitting another bunny named Snowball. My mom had Snowball and Berkeley in her office room with her, and she went out for a bit. I had brought snowball out with me because berkeley was asleep. I later put snowball back in, but I didn’t take Berkeley out.
An hour later my mom comes up and says there’s something wrong with Berkeley. She was limp, and would lay on her side, couldn’t move her head, all very scary things. she also was doing almost a seizure like thing, her paws would shake. So, we took her to an emergency vet.
As we were being asked questions, we got the news Berkeley had passed away. The vet had told us it was like severe vertigo, but there were possible causes like cord chewing and a parasite. Berkeley had never been a chewer so we ruled that out, until we got home and my mom saw berkeley had chewed a cord.
I feel extremely guilty because as i mentioned, i didn’t take berkeley out, only snowball. I feel like if i took her out, she’d still be with me. my heart is absolutely broken. I feel so bad that she was in pain from the electricity, and that she had to suffer, and that I didn’t do my job keep her safe well enough. Please tell me, should i feel this guilt? I’m so losses

So sorry for your loss! Things happen to the best of us. Two of my angoras had made it up to the "gameroom" above the garage. They were free-roam buns but usually didn't go past the laundry room. I had a small chest freezer plugged up in that room behind a couch. It was not an issue with the buns that eventually led me to realize they had chewed that cord. It was the horrid smell that we could not locate however long later. One day we smelled awfulness in the whole house and no one could determine the source. I thought a squirrel or something had fallen in the wall gaps and died or something. Smelled of decomposition. Well, about 2 days later my daughter yelled from the gameroom that she had found the source of the smell....the freezer! Yup. I had 3 frozen turkeys in there so needless to say that by the time we found it, they had completely defrosted, thawed and laying in 8-10 inches of blood water and oozing out of the little net thingies they wrap turkeys in. I thought I was going to throw up right there! It was a middle of the night herculean effort to discard all this as well as the freezer. My house smelled for weeks.
I guess my point is that it happens. To this day, while I am eternally grateful, I will never understand why the bunnies were not electrocuted from chewing up that huge freezer cord! They had bit into about 6 pieces. I guess once the initial chew had been done, the rest didn't matter.
I know you will miss Berkley but know in your heart that he knew you loved him to the moon and back! We all make mistakes.
 

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