I think part of being a mature adult is being able to accept your significant other's family, regardless of the situation. Of course, physical and verbal abuse should never be tolerated. We all have behaviors that others may not like, but like I said part of being an adult and loving someone is accepting their family, with ALL their traits.
People say when you marry your spouse, you also marry their family. SO TRUE. You are there at weddings and funerals, there during times of hardship, there to help them to chores and errands, there as support etc.
I am not trying to be cruel, but it sounds as if you are being insensitive towards your boyfriend's family and his needs with them. Not many spouses will tolerate negative comments or attitude towards their family and it is only a matter of time before they leave. If you feel his mother wants to be number one, then let her. It is a show of respect, and acceptance. My mom is still number one if I ever had to choose, haha. Lets see, she has known me for 23 years, gave life to me, and has helped me in ways I could never repay. My boyfriend has known me for 6 years, has also helped me in many ways, but my mother is the one person that could never be replaced. You could say that with most family.
Also, about the hand me down wedding band, I would see that as a GREAT HONOR regardless of who possessed it. Who cares what someone said about his grandfather or what he was like, fact is the grandmother gave it to your boyfriend, it was from a man that she loved. That is honorable, and quite frankly it doesn't matter what you think about it because it is not yours, and it may not even play into the relationship you have with your boyfriend. Also, not trying to be harsh, but at age 18 there are still many hard years coming when people make the change from teen to adult. It makes for some rough times and personality changes... I waited to even comtemplate marriage until I felt I had become mature enough to handle ANYTHING thrown at me. Moving in together is such a small step in a huge scheme of things, and it sounds like perhaps you are not as much upset about the purchasing of things for your new place as you are involved in a control situation, and your poor boyfriend might be stuck right in the middle! Talk to both parties before things get worse, they must get resolved before they get better. I hope everything works for your relationship, and again I was not trying to be cruel with my advice, just honest as someone who knows well
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-D
BabyBailey wrote:
That is great advice but, we dont really have to pay anything in the first place. For graduation and from my parents and stuff, the only things we need is maybe $1,000 MAX and we have about $3k saved up to do the place. So, we dont need her help so much on the stuff we wanted to pick out ourselves. and he doesnt even live with her!! She just wants to be #1! I dont get it. Now that she decided she hates me at the beginning of summer, Its a war to see who actually gets my boyfriend. Like "whos more important"... Lame. ugggh. And I refuse to talk to her. Last time was a diiisssaster and I dont wana hafta deal with my boyfriend tellng me how immature I was when shes the one who sat there with her arms folded and not speaking a word. I tried talking to her. Nicely and calmly. But shes as nasty as her daughter. so. what can i do. I feel its a losing battle. Oh. and from the dads side, his g-ma gave him a wedding band (cuz she loves me and thinks we will last forever) that was his grandpas, but, it seems really ugly and I really wanted our wedding bands to match if we ever got married. Plus he never met his g-pa before and from all the stories I ever heard, he was an ass (He cried when he heard he was going to have a kid because he was so mad that his wife would let herself get pregnant and theres no way he wanted a kid. Or what about how he told his son to run ten minutes before his wedding wearing nothing but black?) yea. That sounds like a great guy. I dont know. thanks for listening to my amazing rant. I just cant stand his dumb family drama.
