Rusty at rabbit bonding - Advice please!

[rabitgrl]

Hello.

So a little background to let you know my past experience, or where I am coming from.

I have had house rabbits in the past, but it has been about ten years ago now. I had two brothers who were bonded, and a male female pair. The first female passed away and the male was repaired with another female. They were all spayed and neutered of course.
The thing is I don't remember having any bonding difficulties. The brothers did fight until they were neutered, but after neutering they were fine. The male/female pair never seemed to have issues, even though they did not pick each other. In other words, I just brought home the female and everything was fine both times.

Now I have a new bunny I am hoping to find a companion for, but all I have read about bonding is making me nervous. It seems I have had a very easy time in the past, but I worry that will not be the case this time.

Our current bunny is Bob. He is a Flemish giant, about one year old. We have only had him for about a month, and he was just neutered a couple of weeks ago. I am not in a huge rush, but I would like to find him a bunny wife at some point.

So as the title says I am looking for your advice.

My plan so far is to take him dating at our nearest shelter and see how things go.

What should I be looking for on these dates? I really have no clue other than assuming that fighting is bad.

Also, the rabbit rescues in my area are all a little bit of a drive. The closest is about a half-hour drive, while the farthest we might go is 1-1.5 hour drive. Ever since the neutering Bob is not too keen on the carrier, or car rides. So, I worry he will be quite stressed when we arrive for the dates, and I wonder how this might affect things.

I know there are people here who have tried the bunny dating, and had success bonding. I really want to hear from you

What are your experiences? What should I look out for, etc?

Thanks so much to anyone with bonding insight who can advise. Please know you will be helping a very sweet bachelor get one step closer to love and companionship!

 

[Blue eyes]

Since it's only been a couple weeks, I'd wait a few more weeks before attempting bonds. Hormones can take a month (sometimes 2) to fully dissipate.

It sounds like you have the right idea already with the bunny dating at a rescue. The dates are mostly for ruling out the obvious mismatches. Some will be quite apparent from the first intro that they aren't likely to bond.
After that are the ones that show promise. So think of the bunny dates as a mere first step.
Your rabbit will already be somewhat stressed from the trip and from the new environment. So reactions will be somewhat skewed anyway.
The people at the rescue usually know what to look for and will guide you through the process. The two rabbits ignoring each other initially can be a positive sign. Lack of fighting, obviously, is another good one. Some humping may occur. You don't want to see a tail going up (precursor to an attack). Grooming would normally be considered a dream match.

As far as personal experience with bonding, I've had a few easy ones but was unlucky enough to see several difficult and impossible matches. My stressed girl was even getting groomed by one male on a bunny date. But once we got her home and settled she decided that even in neutral territory she wanted absolutely nothing to do with that rabbit other than to attack him. So, yeah, bunny dates aren't a guarantee, just a first step potential. Fortunately, with the rescue scenario, they allow exchanges and we eventually found a bondmate for my difficult girl.

Based on my experiences, I wouldn't dream of just purchasing a rabbit and expecting it to bond with a current rabbit. Going through a rescue with bunny dates is definitely the only way I will bond rabbits. One rabbit I had was rejected by one boy before finding her match. Another went through 2 boys. So that was 5 attempted matches resulting in 2 actual matches. Those aren't the greatest odds. But I truly think I was just a bit unlucky. I've heard many others with much easier matches.

 

[Chrisdoc]

I agree with blue eyes and going through a rescue centre is your best way of finding a match for your boy. I am sure the people at the rescue will be able to guide you as to a possible good match for your guy as they will know their ladies and possible one who is sweet and easy going. You may have to try more than one if the first match doesn´t work out but that´s the great thing about rescues in that you can swap if it´s not the right match. Sometimes bonding can be so easy or so darn hard, that´s one of the things that isn´t always clear from the outset.

I´d love to see a pic of him and I really hope that you find a lovely lady for him. I always love seeing these big buns, I´ve become quite a fan of several on her, I just love their demeanour and those lovely big ears.

Keep us posted with progress.

 

[rabitgrl]

Thanks for the replies!

One concern I have is that the rescue nearest to me is not rabbit specific. It is considerably closer than the rabbit specific rescues, and they do have two spayed females currently. I have talked to the folks at this shelter and they are okay with Bob meeting their ladies, but in their words they do not have anyone who specializes in "small animals". I would like to try at this shelter first because it is only a 30 minute drive. The rabbit specific shelters are an hour or more away. That is why I am wondering what to look for, since I will basically be on my own in figuring out behavior at this shelter.

Also, if and when a date goes well what should I do? Just from the reading I have done it sounds like most people house the pair separately at first and do more neutral territory dates until things look stable and promising?

Chrisdoc, I would love to show you pictures! Here they are:

 

[Blue eyes]

He's a beauty!

Our closest rabbit rescue is a good 45 minutes away. I really don't think it will make much difference to your rabbit whether he drives for half hour or an hour. I would just go to whichever place you felt more comfortable and confident. It may be worth it to go the extra distance to take advantage of their expertise.

You might also double check about that closer shelter. They may not allow exchanges if you bring one home and it doesn't work out. It may be that they will only permit the meeting in their shelter and then you have to decide. And if they do allow you to exchange after bringing one home, what happens if neither of the 2 rabbits works out?

The rescues usually allow exchanges even if you've had the new rabbit at your house for a few weeks.

For more detail on bonding, there are 2 sites that recommend 2 completely different methods of bonding:
http://www.cottontails-rescue.org.uk/matchups.asp

[FONT=&quot]http://www.rabbitnetwork.org/articles/bond.shtml[/FONT]

 

[rew]

Hi
I don't know anything much about bonding but I just wanted to comment on your bunny! Your boy is so handsome!! ❤❤


You may train a bunny to do tricks, but a bunny teaches you patience and the fragile beauty of silence.

 

[rabitgrl]

Thanks again blue eyes. I really do hate stressing him out, but I suppose it is worth it for a chance at love. The rabbit specific rescue does have more options, and expertese. Thankfully there is time to consider the options. I do feel sad for the buns at the more local shelter since they have been there a while, and spend all their time in very small cages Thanks for sharing your personal experience. Somehow two matches from 5 dates sounds pretty good to me, but again I am totally new to this. The links are very helpful also

Thanks Rew! I think Bob is very handsome, and I am so grateful he has a wonderful sweet personality to match Looks like you have a looker as well - I have quite a soft spot for the red eyed whites.

 

[Chrisdoc]

Oh I do so love your bunny, he is so big, you can´t tell in the first pics but next to the little girl....wow, he is some size. I just love these flemmies and those big ears and he is such a lovely colour.

I think you should maybe think about going to the shelter which is farther they are specialists and will perhaps be able to help and advise you when you come to choosing a friend for Bob. I would love to see him with a lady friend, I´ll be watching this space :biggrin:

 

[rabitgrl]

Thanks Chrisdoc!
We feel super lucky to have sweet Bob in our lives

The girl in the last photo is my four year old daughter. She is a serious animal lover, and very interested and involved in wanting to find Bob a "girlfriend".
So, yesterday we drove over to the not rabbit specific shelter. Mostly just to pet the bunnies and ask a few more questions. The people working there are very kind, and well meaning, but not very rabbit knowledgeable. One of the two does has been there since before we got Bob. We checked this shelter when looking for Bob, but since we were looking for a boy we ended up going elsewhere. Anyway, my daughter remembered this rabbit "Craisin" and now she is very hopeful that Bob will choose her. I am sure this could very easily end in heartbreak for my daughter, but I did basically promise to try and see if Bob might like Craisin. I have been very clear that Bob gets final say in the pick, but of course my daughter is now in love with Craisin. Of course we are waiting a while longer to try introductions, and perhaps someone will adopt Craisin by then.

I have also contacted the nearest rabbit specific rescue, and am waiting to hear back with further details from them. I do agree this is the better option, but we are still likely to try the local shelter first, just so my daughter knows we tried with the bunny she likes so much. I am sure this sounds silly, but my daughter is very serious and persuasive.

Another issue this shelter visit brought up is how super tiny regular does seem compared to Bob. I know all the info on bonding says size does not matter, but I do kind of worry Bob could hurt one of these little ladies. Especially since I know he might try mounting them. Honestly it does concern me. I have never seen him around other rabbits, and as sweet as he is I am afraid he could really do damage if he became dominant or aggressive with a smaller bun.

So just curious what anyone thinks about size differences. Do any of you have, or have seen a very large buck paired with a small to average doe? Am I worrying about nothing, or are there precautions I should take to make sure Bob doesn't do possible harm to any of his dates?

 

[Blue eyes]

Size really doesn't matter. For all you know, it may be the female who decides to mount Bob and she may be the dominant one! lol.

 

[rabitgrl]

Thanks Blue eyes.
I have heard this before, but I guess I need to see it before I can really believe it.

 

[rabitgrl]

I contacted the nearest rabbit specific rescue, and she was very nice about answering all my questions. One thing she brought up was the possibility that Bob might not like other rabbits. I do realize this is a possibility, but it is not something I have experience with. How will I know if he does not like other rabbits? Will he attack them, try to fight with them? I have read that the rabbits ignoring each other is generally considered a good sign, but could it also indicate a lack of interest?
Just trying to collect as much info as possible before jumping in.

 

[bunzlemad]

Hi Rabitgrl! Your bunny really does look very handsome may I say!! I currently have my widowed Bunny Parsnip at the bunny rescue being bonded with a very gorgeous potential Wife, so wanted to reply to you as this topic is very close to my heart right now! I have totally fallen in love with her and am crossing all fingers and toes...and Parsnip's paws, that he will too. I have started helping at the Same bunny rescue and when I was there last Tuesday, they had just been put together and after initial high kicks they simply were ignoring eachother. I bonded Parsnip with Mabel (my very beautiful bun who has just died) and they too initially ignored eachother (and ended up being inseparable in the end-hence his and mine broken hearts now) so yes, I think ignoring IS a good sign to start with. You will know if it's not going to be harmonious because there will be lots of more aggressive fighting and flying fur until it's just not safe to try any more. I am waiting as I text to hear if I can go pick them both up tomorrow, so wish me luck. My Husband has built a fab 5 star bunny pad incorporating the garden shed with a new surrounding bird aivary style run. It's awesome and I am very excited! Hope you get to bond Rusty soon.


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[JBun]

Large rabbits can be paired with smaller rabbits. Kaley, I hope you don't mind me sharing your picture. Kai is a german giant buck, and Shya is the little one next to him. Surprisingly Kai looks to Shya as his protector.

http://www.rabbitsonline.net/f18/shya-she-does-what-she-wants-65256/index90.html

 

[rabitgrl]

Thanks Bunzlemad and Jbun.

Bunzlemad -sorry for the loss of your Mabel. Hope Parsnip and the new lady bun can find true love!

Jbun - that picture is really reassuring, and sweet to hear that the little lady bun is the boss

I have been really over analyzing the whole thing lately. Going back and forth about whether or not we should even try. Wondering if Bob is just fine by himself etc. But I always come back to at least wanting to try. Hopefully he will let us know if he is just not interested in a companion.

I have been having second thoughts about my local shelter. Even my somewhat reluctant husband seems to think the rabbit specific rescue is the better option. I think I mostly feel sorry for the two local buns, and a little guilty if I don't try them out. However, the people working there really don't know anything about them. They were both strays. It is also hard for me to really get a feel for their personalities just visiting and petting them in their cage. They both seemed sweet, and willing to be petted by small children, but that doesn't tell me everything I need to know.

Bob is super laid back, borderline lazy. So I worry about bringing home a more high energy rabbit, who might pester and annoy him. Maybe this would not be the case. Anyway, the rabbit specific rescue does really know their rabbits, and we would probably have a better chance at a good match there.

I am sure I will update again once we have made a final decision, and taken Bob dating. Hopefully it will all work out.

 

[BunnyDurls]

There are ways to force-bond if you have troubles with your Buns getting along. Put them together in a scary situation. In the bath tub or a carrier in the back of your car while you drive crazy. Sounds insane, but it's worked for me many times.

Obviously, don't scare them too much, you'll give your buns a tiny heart attack.


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[Blue eyes]

I have been having second thoughts about my local shelter. Even my somewhat reluctant husband seems to think the rabbit specific rescue is the better option.

If you were confident and experienced in knowing what to look for in bonding, then going with the close shelter would be an easy decision. It sounds like it would be worth it go with the rabbit rescue at least for this time. Once you've learned from them and observed how they do things, then, perhaps, in the future you could more confidently try the local shelter.

 

[rabitgrl]

I just want to start by saying that I feel like an absolute crazy person, and I do realize I went against everyone's generous advice

Anyway -we took Bob dating at the local shelter yesterday. It was quite difficult and confusing and probably a bad idea. As an excuse I will say my husband and father in law were instrumental in persuading me. Also, the rabbit rescue I contacted said they frequently do introductions 2-3 weeks post neutering. Bob is about three weeks past his neuter, and I just thought it might be good to test the waters before taking the long drive to the rabbit rescue. The local shelter is only a 15 minute drive, not the thirty I originally thought. So those are all my excuses, and now for what happened.

The first bun was clearly terrified of us all. Me, the kids, and Bob. Bob was not aggressive to her, but it just didn't seem like a good fit. The second girl was quite a wonderful one. If I didn't have Bob to consider I would have taken her home immediately. She seemed very calm and confident, and comfortable around all of us. She let the children pet her, and just seemed curious, and at ease. She did not seem at all afraid or bothered by Bob, and they even touched noses a few times. The trouble was Bob and his hormones. Upon first greeting he started honking and trying to hump her. I did not allow him to because the girl bun is a dutch rabbit, and looks to be all of about 3 pounds.

The shelter worker assisting us is someone who has had rabbits of her own, and takes care of the shelter rabbits, but she does not do as many introductions and such as the folks at the rabbit rescue. However, she thought they seemed to get along better than most she had seen, but she would not suggest leaving them alone due to Bob's humping. The girl rabbit is spayed, but I think we were both just worried Bob might pin down and injure the little lady bun. She did seem small and quick, but still I felt worried taking the risk, so we came home with just Bob.

So now I am feeling really uncertain. The shelter rabbit was so sweet. And it seemed like she and Bob could be good together if he was not so hormonal. What do you think? Could this be a good match, or would I always be worried for the girl rabbits safety. I do realize Bob needs more time for his hormones to stabilize. Did I do the right thing not bringing home the sweet girl bunny? Of course I would do the recommended bonding process, and cage them separately until all was well. I just worry he might always do this humping, and it is going to be difficult to find a girl bunny that isn't a lot smaller than Bob since he is so large.

I really would love to hear what anyone thinks about this.

 

[Blue eyes]

If Bob is still showing hormonal signs, I'd wait. I think it's for the best that you didn't bring her home. It sounds like Bob needs more time to settle down. Remember, it can take up to 2 months for those hormones to fully dissipate.
There is no harm in waiting. There are potential downsides to not waiting. If you had brought the girl home and kept trying to bond those two at this time (while Bob is hormonal), the girl could get frustrated with all the humping and decide she's had enough. If that occurs, and she decides to retaliate, then all could be lost.
Patience, would be my advice. Don't rush things. Slow down and just wait out another month. Use that time to keep updated on the rescue bunnies. Who knows, perhaps Bob's perfect match hasn't yet arrived at a rescue, but will be there for him in a few weeks. And if that other girl is still at the shelter, maybe he won't be so humpy the next time.

 

[rabitgrl]

Thank you Blue eyes. I appreciate your voice of reason, even though it is hard for me to hear

I really do like this specific rabbit. A big part of it is that she really had the personality traits that I love about Bob. She is just so easy going, and great with the kids. My children are 2 and 4 years old, and although fairly well behaved they are still a challenge for most rabbits to deal with. Bob is really quite amazing with them. He actually runs and jumps around the living room with them, and actively seeks their attention. I know this is not the case with most or many rabbits. However, this little dutch rabbit also seemed very comfortable with the children.

We spent about 30-45 minutes with her, and she was snuggling at their feet, and begging to be petted just like Bob does. She did not seem at all nervous - and that means a lot to me. I know the relationship between Bob and the other bun is crucial, but she also has to live with the rest of us. So many of the rabbits listed on petfinder, and the rabbit rescues are described as best for children over 8 or no children at all. That is a part of why this is weighing so heavily on me.

She really seemed so perfect for her own good qualities, and because it seemed that she and Bob could get along if not for his humping.

Sorry to go on and on. I am just feeling a little emotional about it.

Would it be completely nuts to adopt her, and keep them separated until Bob is less hormonal? Or is it possible he will not like her as much once the hormones are gone? I did read on the House Rabbit Society website that it is a good idea to do introductions about a month after neutering so that there is a little more interest. However, I do see that the humping could get really old if it doesn't stop soon.

I really do want to do what is rational, I am just having a hard time not thinking this rabbit is "The One".