Obsess Much?

[agnesthelion]

I can't get this rabbit off my mind!

I'm nuts I found this little guy, a 3 year old Holland Lop up for adoption through the Missouri house rabbit society 5 hours away from me. I emailed them and he's been up for awhile maybe because of his age they think might be a deterrent? But geesh, I think I 3 year old has alot of love to give.....

But my hubby thinks I'm nuts to even consider a 5 hour drive. I do too sometimes. So I tell myself to move on, continue looking which I do everyday, and now no bunny is "good enough" because I keep comparing them to this guy who I've never even met.

They might (big might) have a volunteer heading towards Iowa that i could meet up with and possibly adopt him. She is checking into things, but then that leaves the issue of Agnes not bunny dating. She was a little concerned about that too. Should i risk it and just put a huge commitment into getting them to bond? Because, heck, if I adopt here I can't bunny date anyway because of my local shelters rules....grrr...

Not really sure what my point is other to vent and hear anyone else's perspectives on this. I'm just frustrated because I know I could give a rescue bun a great home but running into roadblocks.....sigh....thanks for listening....
:rollseyes:rollseyes:?

 

[Korr_and_Sophie]

Would it be at all possible for the bunnies to meet before you commit to adopting him? Like if the volunteer could meet at your place and the bunnies can meet, then if they don't get along you can choose to not adopt him. Or even you could take him for a while (a couple weeks) to see how they do and it if doesn't work out then you can figure out a way to get him back to the shelter.

It is hard when you don't really know how your rabbit will react to other rabbits. I know with Korr, he gets along with pretty much any rabbit and is pretty tolerant about humping and stuff. So unless there was a big issue with the other rabbit, he would probably get along and bond with most rabbits. Of course this has taken years for me to know this and he has been around other rabbits as well. When I was first looking into getting him a partner, I didn't know how he would react.

 

[agnesthelion]

I doubt someone would drive 5 hours to my house for a bunny date and then drive 5 hours back if didn't work out.

I could bring Agnes with to the meet up spot but it would not the most genuine date anyway because she will be out of her element and could react totally different at home to the new bun.

But with that being said, that could be how it is on ANY bunny date. So doesn't bonding require a commitment at a good attempt anyway??

Its frustrating because if I wait who knows how long til a rabbit comes along here to our shelter, I can't bunny date there either. So the only difference is coming down to how far I want to drive I guess.......?

 

[holtzchick]

See if you can meet the volunteer halfway. You can bring Agnes along to see what her first reaction is but I agree, you need to really wait it out until you get home and really try to bond them there. Worst case scenario you need to keep them separate and possibly rehome which wouldn't be the worst anyways because if you do rehome I'm sure you'll find someone suitable and its better than the bunny being in the shelter for 5 months.


Best of luck in whatever you decide!

 

[agnesthelion]

holtzchick wrote:

but I agree, you need to really wait it out until you get home and really try to bond them there.

Best of luck in whatever you decide!

Thanks. That makes me feel better.

I think this bunny dating thing might be overrated,,,? Maybe? Before anyone flips out on me, hehe , let me clarify.

To me to get an accurate reaction or prediction if bunnies will bond you need to give it some time, right?

I've heard of stories where the bunny date went good on neutral territory, then a fight broke out at home. OR stories where two buns seem to be on a track to dislike each other but with repeated, gentle, baby steps with things done correctly, they bond.

I went into this thinking Agnes will bunny date and pick out her mate but now, besides the roadblocks of my shelter not even allowing dating, bonding seems to take much more then a couple attempts and you stop if they don't get along.

What does everyone think?

 

[MiniLopHop]

I am all for bunny dates because I have had my buns take an instant dislike to a rabbit so it's just easier not to bring them home. However, I agree that it really isn't going to be a true test until they are in home territory. I think the dates help to weed through the definate "no".

However, with time and patience you can get an automatic no to change to an ok, it is just so much more time consuming. For example, all of my m/f pairs dated before they came home. Once we arrived I put them into their living space, watched, and they lived happily ever efter from day 1. The pairs didn't meet the other pairs until after everybunny was living there. Panda and Houdini argue over who is king, so I have been working on them getting along for months with dates. It is getting better, but certainly much more work.

I'm lazy

I think the meeting half way to hop around together would give you a great indication. Then they could ride home together (assuming all goes well) and that would go a long way in bonding by the time they get there.

 

[holtzchick]

I agree, I think you should go for it

 

[agnesthelion]

MiniLopHop wrote:

I am all for bunny dates because I have had my buns take an instant dislike to a rabbit so it's just easier not to bring them home. However, I agree that it really isn't going to be a true test until they are in home territory. I think the dates help to weed through the definate "no".

I think the meeting half way to hop around together would give you a great indication. Then they could ride home together (assuming all goes well) and that would go a long way in bonding by the time they get there.

Thanks brandy. I agree that it is WAY more time consuming. In my perfect world, I would live close to a rabbit rescue that had several she could date and I'd pick one out from there. BUT i don't live near a rescue. And my shelter doesn't even date so either way I'm in for some work to get them to bond.

I know I keep posting about this. Thanks again for everyone listening and responding. I just take this so seriously and worry so much.

 

[MiniLopHop]

agnesthelion wrote:

I know I keep posting about this. Thanks again for everyone listening and responding. I just take this so seriously and worry so much.

It's ok, you are a great bunny mom, so the worry comes with the territory. I would worry more if you weren't taking it seriously. People who just plop buns together without close observation scare me.

 

[agnesthelion]

^^^thanks brandy!! I appreciate all the advice I've gotten from you and everyone on here.

And yes I agree some people are so nonchalant about rabbits. When I hear "it's just a rabbit" I nearly jump out of my skin! No doubt this is big deal to me. I'll always worry.....

 

[ldoerr]

I think that you should go for it. All you have been talking about lately is this bunny. I think that even if they do not bond, it will work out. You will just have 2 cages of bunnies that need seporate run time.

 

[Blue eyes]

I know it's a long ride. Is there a way you can make a mini-weekend vacation out of it? Maybe bring Agnes up with you, stay at a hotel.

Then you could at least do a bunny date at the rescue to ensure it's not a definite "no" according to the rabbits. And if it looks promising, you can actually pick up the new bun the next day and drive home.

I know what you mean, thinking it's crazy. When I got my bonded pair, they were from CA and we were going to make a weekend of it to go get them. (My husband was surprisingly willing) But it happened to work out that someone else was coming our way and was able to bring them to us.

 

[agnesthelion]

Thanks Lauren. I'm definitely leaning towards it. I know it's all I've been talking about I guess I've been a little obsessed lately but at the same time worry that I'll disrupt Agnes's perfect little world, and the new buns too...

I don't want two separate buns. Worst case scenario is I'll have to rehome. But, I can say that this won't happen after 2 weeks or even 2 months. I will give it a huge go!!! Who knows I could get attached and have two separate buns but it's not ideal.....

But I'll never know if i don't try....

 

[Ellie]

I think you should go for it too. Sometimes I think you 'just know' things, and this seems like a situation that something is telling you you need him/her. Therefore, you probably do "need" this cute bun for some reason or another and since you can't let it go, that's probably the case.
If they don't like each other they just stay in different cages, that's the worst that could happen - right?
I got Buster when he was 3 and he's still a super sweet guy

 

[OakRidgeRabbits]

Bringing in a second bunny is probably not the best idea unless you are content with the idea of having two separate rabbits.

Sometimes bonding works out, but sometimes it doesn't. That isn't really a problem if you're okay with potentially having two separate bunnies. But it would be a shame to give the little one a home for an extended period of time and then have to rehome him just because the date didn't work out. :/

 

[whitelop]

I think you should go for it! I just got my heart broken over a rabbit i needed. Sometimes you just know when its right, even when you haven't met the bun.
Good luck!

 

[agnesthelion]

Thanks for your honesty Julie. I do see what you are saying. Not sure if you've seen all my posts or followed this at all but I really take this all very seriously. Agnes is a huge part of my life and I do not trivialize bunny "ownership" in the least. I have immersed myself in bunny education the past few months and feel like I have a good understanding about things. I can't be the only person that would prefer a bonded pair over two separate buns?? So I feel like if I am willing to put in a huge effort and lots of time, like I'm talking months and baby steps if need be, I can't be any worse than other owners out there taking a chance at pet ownership? I dunno, just talking out loud but hoping I'm not thought of as horrible by being honest about not wanting two cages and two buns. Who knows, I could get so attached and if that happens who knows if I had to rehome I would be smart about it too. I wouldn't just give him away, take him to a kill shelter,etc. Pets are not objects and i do not think of them as disposable. It would be a difficult and thought out decision. One that already stresses me out and I don't even have the bun yet!
Anyway, love the input and glad to hear yours, just trying to explain my perspective as best I can

 

[agnesthelion]

Thanks Morgan. I actually just saw the threads about the bun you wanted today. Not sure how I missed them all, lol, but so sorry it didn't work out! Believe me i understand how you just "feel" it about a bun so it had to be such a disappointment. Are you gonna keep looking for another bun?

 

[Imbrium]

MiniLopHop wrote:

I think the meeting half way to hop around together would give you a great indication. Then they could ride home together (assuming all goes well) and that would go a long way in bonding by the time they get there.

:yeahthat:

you can drag the hubby along and make him drive on the way back so you can sit in the backseat with the bunnies to keep an eye on things while they bond a bit over the car ride

 

[OakRidgeRabbits]

agnesthelion wrote:

Thanks for your honesty Julie. I do see what you are saying. Not sure if you've seen all my posts or followed this at all but I really take this all very seriously. Agnes is a huge part of my life and I do not trivialize bunny "ownership" in the least. I have immersed myself in bunny education the past few months and feel like I have a good understanding about things. I can't be the only person that would prefer a bonded pair over two separate buns?? So I feel like if I am willing to put in a huge effort and lots of time, like I'm talking months and baby steps if need be, I can't be any worse than other owners out there taking a chance at pet ownership? I dunno, just talking out loud but hoping I'm not thought of as horrible by being honest about not wanting two cages and two buns. Who knows, I could get so attached and if that happens who knows if I had to rehome I would be smart about it too. I wouldn't just give him away, take him to a kill shelter,etc. Pets are not objects and i do not think of them as disposable. It would be a difficult and thought out decision. One that already stresses me out and I don't even have the bun yet!
Anyway, love the input and glad to hear yours, just trying to explain my perspective as best I can

I understand, and certainly don't think of you as horrible! Many people hardly blink before bring a new pet home and it is clear just from this thread alone that you've put a lot of time into your decision. I apologize if my post came across as negative. I haven't really been following the whole story (if there were more posts than this?), just thought I'd put the thought out there.

Bonded buns would be really nice but you may find that even separately, you would enjoy them. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best! Sometimes "the one" comes along and you just know when it happens! Sounds like this may be it!