gmas rabbit
Well-Known Member
Hope you have another walk planned for you and the doggies. Good to be tired from exercise, it is a healthy tired and will allow you to sleep and rest. Hang in there
My boyfriend is jealous of my bunny (as well as my other pets).
- Thread starter BunnyLove89
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MiniLopHop
Well-Known Member
Hi. Just checking in to see how today is going. Getting some exercise and sunshine can really help. I wore myself out in the garden yesterday and it helps with the anxiety. Have you tried a hot bath before bed? That can help with sleep. :hug:
I'm also terrible at making friends. I have lived in PA for about 10 years now and only have one friend in the area. I agree that most people tend to be much more idle chatter than really talking. It's also an introvert/extrovert difference. It's much harder as an introvert, which I'm guessing you are from what you have said, to reach out and make friends. Plus, there aren't as many of us in society so finding each other can be a challenge. I would suggest checking out "the introvert advantage" from your library. It gave me so many ah ha moments and it felt great to understand why I do things and that I'm not wrong for being this way.
I'm also terrible at making friends. I have lived in PA for about 10 years now and only have one friend in the area. I agree that most people tend to be much more idle chatter than really talking. It's also an introvert/extrovert difference. It's much harder as an introvert, which I'm guessing you are from what you have said, to reach out and make friends. Plus, there aren't as many of us in society so finding each other can be a challenge. I would suggest checking out "the introvert advantage" from your library. It gave me so many ah ha moments and it felt great to understand why I do things and that I'm not wrong for being this way.
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
I slept a little bit better last night. Still not enough tho. I even took sleep supplements before bed and at 4 this morning. I was quite groggy this morning! I was outside smoking and I dozed off resulting in me dropping my lit cigarette on my foot. That woke me up fast!
I called my boyfriend last night (we were texting and calling was faster) and I ranted quite a bit. It felt kind of good to talk to him because he knows me really well. I was talking to him about this forum and how it's sad that none of my "friends" who i've know for almost 2 years will talk to me or reply to anything i've written, but so many strangers are being incredibly supportive.
This morning I got a haircut. I've been putting it off but since I have nothing else to do, I figured it was a good time. I also rented a movie to watch tonight.
I don't know why, but i'm still getting dizzy frequently and feeling like i'm going to faint. It happened while I was driving today.
I doubt i'll take the dogs out today. It is really hot. I'll find something else to do with them...
I called my boyfriend last night (we were texting and calling was faster) and I ranted quite a bit. It felt kind of good to talk to him because he knows me really well. I was talking to him about this forum and how it's sad that none of my "friends" who i've know for almost 2 years will talk to me or reply to anything i've written, but so many strangers are being incredibly supportive.
This morning I got a haircut. I've been putting it off but since I have nothing else to do, I figured it was a good time. I also rented a movie to watch tonight.
I don't know why, but i'm still getting dizzy frequently and feeling like i'm going to faint. It happened while I was driving today.
I doubt i'll take the dogs out today. It is really hot. I'll find something else to do with them...
ZRabbits
Well-Known Member
BunnyLove89 wrote:
I took sleep suppliments just once and never again. If you don't sleep long, as you took one at 4 am and got up in a couple hours, it will be make sleepy and dizzy. It did me. Only had 4 hours after taking the suppliment and I was dizzy and falling asleep all day. Just watch yourself with those.
A hot bath, exercise, working in a garden are so much better than sleep suppliments.
Glad you got a haircut. Doing something nice for yourself always helps.
K
I took sleep suppliments just once and never again. If you don't sleep long, as you took one at 4 am and got up in a couple hours, it will be make sleepy and dizzy. It did me. Only had 4 hours after taking the suppliment and I was dizzy and falling asleep all day. Just watch yourself with those.
A hot bath, exercise, working in a garden are so much better than sleep suppliments.
Glad you got a haircut. Doing something nice for yourself always helps.
K
MiniLopHop
Well-Known Member
Lavendar is a great sleep aid, just put a little on your pillow. Or chamomile tea, you can even share it with your bunny! There's nothing cuter than sharing a nice cup of tea with a bun, mine love it. Just don't put any sugar in it and make sure it's not too hot. Also be forwarned they will quickly learn how to drink out of mugs so you have to be more careful about putting drinks where they can reach when it is not to be shared.
If you get into a good routine it really helps. I turn down lights at 8 pm (I tend to be very sensitive to light levels). A nice warm bath at 9, chamomile tea and reading in bed snuggling a bun until 10. Then out for the night. Just make sure the book isn't too exciting or it is hard to tear yourself away. Soft music is good as well so you don't hear every little noise while you are trying to sleep. By doing the same thing every night it helps your body get used to what is expected and sleep comes easier. I would recommend against naps or sleeping in until you have a more stable night's sleep.
Caffine and alcohol are also not a good idea if you aren't sleeping well. I have fibromyalgia so have had sleep issues all my life. Missing zzzzz can make things miserable.
If you get into a good routine it really helps. I turn down lights at 8 pm (I tend to be very sensitive to light levels). A nice warm bath at 9, chamomile tea and reading in bed snuggling a bun until 10. Then out for the night. Just make sure the book isn't too exciting or it is hard to tear yourself away. Soft music is good as well so you don't hear every little noise while you are trying to sleep. By doing the same thing every night it helps your body get used to what is expected and sleep comes easier. I would recommend against naps or sleeping in until you have a more stable night's sleep.
Caffine and alcohol are also not a good idea if you aren't sleeping well. I have fibromyalgia so have had sleep issues all my life. Missing zzzzz can make things miserable.
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
MiniLopHop wrote:
I have OCD and PTSD (as well as other mental illnesses) so I thrive on routine. Since my boyfriend and I aren't together i've been sticking with the routine I had on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (which were the days that my boyfriend didn't come over). During the day I can do whatever and it doesn't mess with me, but at night it has to go according to schedule. At 5 I get Weston (bunny) out and put him on my bed. At 7 I feed my goats. At 8:15 I turn on a 45 min. show. When that show ends, I take my meds, feed my mice, feed my dogs, put them to bed, and turn off all the lights. About 20 minutes later I put Weston back in his cage. I have to fall asleep to tv otherwise I can't sleep. I've been like that for almost 11 years.
Haha, I'll have to try sharing some chamomile tea with Weston. He'll probably claim it as his...he claimed my dinner last night and kept sneaking over and trying to get it.:rollseyes
I have OCD and PTSD (as well as other mental illnesses) so I thrive on routine. Since my boyfriend and I aren't together i've been sticking with the routine I had on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (which were the days that my boyfriend didn't come over). During the day I can do whatever and it doesn't mess with me, but at night it has to go according to schedule. At 5 I get Weston (bunny) out and put him on my bed. At 7 I feed my goats. At 8:15 I turn on a 45 min. show. When that show ends, I take my meds, feed my mice, feed my dogs, put them to bed, and turn off all the lights. About 20 minutes later I put Weston back in his cage. I have to fall asleep to tv otherwise I can't sleep. I've been like that for almost 11 years.
Haha, I'll have to try sharing some chamomile tea with Weston. He'll probably claim it as his...he claimed my dinner last night and kept sneaking over and trying to get it.:rollseyes
MiniLopHop
Well-Known Member
LOL Weston sounds so cute! I have found that Sophie has quite the reach when she wants something, which is usually food.
That's good that you already have a routine that you are comfortable with. You know what works for you and that is what is important.
That's good that you already have a routine that you are comfortable with. You know what works for you and that is what is important.
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
So my boyfriend is really starting to irritate me.
He called me again today and when I didn't answer, he texted until I answered. I told him that I don't want to be talking alot, and he said that I said we could text. All I said regarding texting was that he could text me if he needed me and couldn't get ahold of anyone else. But he was just calling today because he was bored. I know I probably shouldn't have talked to him last night, but still.
I just brought my facebook back up and he messaged me on chat. He wants to come over tomorrow and talk about us. I don't really want to see him tho! And we've only been on a break for 5 days so to me it's definitely too soon to be deciding where we'll go from here. We were supposed to wait a month before talking about it. I asked if he could elaborate, but then he said that he had to go and he signed off.
I really don't know what to make of this. :?
He called me again today and when I didn't answer, he texted until I answered. I told him that I don't want to be talking alot, and he said that I said we could text. All I said regarding texting was that he could text me if he needed me and couldn't get ahold of anyone else. But he was just calling today because he was bored. I know I probably shouldn't have talked to him last night, but still.
I just brought my facebook back up and he messaged me on chat. He wants to come over tomorrow and talk about us. I don't really want to see him tho! And we've only been on a break for 5 days so to me it's definitely too soon to be deciding where we'll go from here. We were supposed to wait a month before talking about it. I asked if he could elaborate, but then he said that he had to go and he signed off.
I really don't know what to make of this. :?
gmas rabbit
Well-Known Member
He is still trying to control you. Block him from your cell phone and facebook. I would not see him,especially yet. You are still struggling to sleep and get things under control. You do not need him upsetting things more. I like your routine, ignore the boyfriend for awhile, settle in your routine, take Brandy's advice about the lavender, tea and hot bath. Get yourself settled and know where you are going and what you want before you confront the boyfriend. If it is suppose to be, it will wait. Otherwise it is just a control trip for him, especially since he texted you and got you upset and then signed off just like that. You sound so much better in just the few days. I am so glad you too time out for you and got a hair cut.
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
:banghead Oh. My. Gosh. I've gone from being irritated to really angry. I decided to switch from NA to AA hoping that not being in the same fellowship as my bf will help, since what i've been doing obviously isn't working. My boyfriend was texting me last night and I guess he has been talking to people (mostly females) from AA (he and I were both in NA). I told him that I want my recovery separate from his and I want different friends, not mutual friends so that I don't run into the same problem as before. He said that he was just trying to help. It's infuriating that he ALWAYS finds some way to get to people first. Even when I add people on facebook he asks who they are and then adds them as well.
I've told him repeatedly that if I want help, I will ask for it.
So now i'm starting to think that there is no point in going to AA since my boyfriend got to my potential friends within a few hours of me telling him I was switching.
I've told him repeatedly that if I want help, I will ask for it.
So now i'm starting to think that there is no point in going to AA since my boyfriend got to my potential friends within a few hours of me telling him I was switching.
BunMommaD
Well-Known Member
I haven't said anything here yet... But in reading through all your posts, I just wanted to tell you!
That YOU are a beautiful person!
YOU deserve a man who will respect you and your wishes!
A man how will treat you with dignity!
Who will love you enough to give you your space!
A man who will love you MORE than himself...
Someone who want to absolute BEST for YOU!
A partner who can be your "soft place to fall"
Someone who will BETTER your day,
And lessen the stress in your life!
Someone who will out YOUR needs before his own...
I was in a really really verbally and in the end physically abusive relationship a few years before I met my husband... I didn't think I was worth anymore than what I was getting from this guy... He was so controlling and manipulative it was crazy! I never wanted me to see my family or my friends, unless he was there... He was paranoid and had serious anger issues! I knew after a month of dating him he was bad news, but I stayed because I thought he loved me and I figured having HIM loved me was better than no one... It took me 2 whole years to get up the courage to walk away... No RUN away! And he went crazy! So much so I had to move back home to parents house for safety! There were countless restraining orders, he had random people follow me for close to a year... And none of it stopped until he went to jail...
All this to say, we are here for you and understand where you are! It sounds like you are making positive steps! Stay strong! ((Hugs))
That YOU are a beautiful person!
YOU deserve a man who will respect you and your wishes!
A man how will treat you with dignity!
Who will love you enough to give you your space!
A man who will love you MORE than himself...
Someone who want to absolute BEST for YOU!
A partner who can be your "soft place to fall"
Someone who will BETTER your day,
And lessen the stress in your life!
Someone who will out YOUR needs before his own...
I was in a really really verbally and in the end physically abusive relationship a few years before I met my husband... I didn't think I was worth anymore than what I was getting from this guy... He was so controlling and manipulative it was crazy! I never wanted me to see my family or my friends, unless he was there... He was paranoid and had serious anger issues! I knew after a month of dating him he was bad news, but I stayed because I thought he loved me and I figured having HIM loved me was better than no one... It took me 2 whole years to get up the courage to walk away... No RUN away! And he went crazy! So much so I had to move back home to parents house for safety! There were countless restraining orders, he had random people follow me for close to a year... And none of it stopped until he went to jail...
All this to say, we are here for you and understand where you are! It sounds like you are making positive steps! Stay strong! ((Hugs))
Bonnie Lee
Well-Known Member
I hope you are okay. I really think you should block him and stop telling him anything because it seems like he's using any bit of info to get infrint so he can keep control.
It's supposed to be a break... You need complete space from him.
I understand it's hard but you have to realize what's best for your animals ad your needs and him being like this isn't helping you which will affect your poor pets
keep strong!
It's supposed to be a break... You need complete space from him.
I understand it's hard but you have to realize what's best for your animals ad your needs and him being like this isn't helping you which will affect your poor pets
keep strong!
MiniLopHop
Well-Known Member
I have to agree, a complete break is what you need. Block him on FB and anyone you find out is giving him information about you because they are not really your friends. No phone calls, no texts, NO VISITS! He needs to be compeltely out of your life. He is going to use every little bit of information against you to menipulate the system. He clearly wants to control you, which frightens me. That level of control is a precurssor for abuse. He already verbally abuses you and it's only a matter of time before the physical violence starts. Please, for your and your animals sake cut all contact.
Is there another AA or similar group you can go to that he wouldn't already know about? Perhaps support on-line if you live in a small place? Just to get out you could join a book club at your local library, he wouldn't be expecting that. You could get out and talk to people in a low stress environment and get your mind preoccupied with something positive. Take the time to build yourself up to be the best you possible. He spent enough time tearing you down, now you have to un-do the damage.
I have been there, my confidence shattered and feeling I was a horrible person that couldn't function without him. Breaking lose was the best thing I ever did. My driends confornted me when they saw bruises, eventhough I tried really hard to hide them. What would I say if it were happening to one of them? You wouldn't put up with a man hurting your friends or family members the way he is doing to you, so please don't let him do it to you anymore either. You are stronger than you think and we are here to support you.
I hope you don't think I sound preachy, I just want to help since I have been there before. My heart breaks for you. :hug:
Is there another AA or similar group you can go to that he wouldn't already know about? Perhaps support on-line if you live in a small place? Just to get out you could join a book club at your local library, he wouldn't be expecting that. You could get out and talk to people in a low stress environment and get your mind preoccupied with something positive. Take the time to build yourself up to be the best you possible. He spent enough time tearing you down, now you have to un-do the damage.
I have been there, my confidence shattered and feeling I was a horrible person that couldn't function without him. Breaking lose was the best thing I ever did. My driends confornted me when they saw bruises, eventhough I tried really hard to hide them. What would I say if it were happening to one of them? You wouldn't put up with a man hurting your friends or family members the way he is doing to you, so please don't let him do it to you anymore either. You are stronger than you think and we are here to support you.
I hope you don't think I sound preachy, I just want to help since I have been there before. My heart breaks for you. :hug:
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
He just broke up with me...he said that he isn't able to love me for who I am right now and i'm not making changes fast enough... :sad::cry4:
ZRabbits
Well-Known Member
BunnyLove89 wrote:
Meaning he doesn't have full control of you any more. You are not saying what he wants to hear, and you are not following the pattern you did in the past for his total control.
It's for the best. If he REALLY loved you, he would wait for you to work it out by yourself.
K
Meaning he doesn't have full control of you any more. You are not saying what he wants to hear, and you are not following the pattern you did in the past for his total control.
It's for the best. If he REALLY loved you, he would wait for you to work it out by yourself.
K
Samara
Well-Known Member
ZRabbits wrote:
^ Yes.
Super hugs.
^ Yes.
Super hugs.
MiniLopHop
Well-Known Member
True love is not that selfish. He wants you to come crawling back begging forgiveness and fall under his total control. You are so much better off without him dragging you down!
It hurts, but you will come out so much stronger and braver. This is for the best. :hug:
BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
He also told me that he didn't want to prolong it in case I was holding onto false hope that it would work out. He said that he has already started healing.
He also mentioned that he might start going to AA meetings as well... :sigh:
Even though we had some major issues I still feel like my dream fell apart...
He also mentioned that he might start going to AA meetings as well... :sigh:
Even though we had some major issues I still feel like my dream fell apart...
Samara
Well-Known Member
:hug2:
gmas rabbit
Well-Known Member
Hugs and prayers. With a complete break you have half a chance of healing. His control is scary. My daughter was in a relationship that her ex- husband tried to run her over and then burn the house down with her & the kids in it. I begged her for years to get out, but she was scared. Not only was he physically, emotionally and spiritually abusive, he was controlling of her and the kids. Threatened her so much she just felt that staying was easier then fighting. Now years later she wonders why she stayed so long. The emotional scars on her and the kids will be with them forever. As hard as it is, a complete break is necessary. We are all here for you, believe me some of us have seen or been in similar situations. Hugs to you. PM anytime.
