Cove
Well-Known Member
NA I never got a pm...?
I'm so sorry...
- Thread starter Cove
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NorthernAutumn
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juliew19673
Well-Known Member
Wow - you are not alone in your current situation - check out my blog and/or many posts of the MANY arguments my BF and I have had over my bun Baxter!.. My bun used to exscape his NIC pen and immediately run to anything that was my BF's and destroy it (usually he'd search out the $200 computer cable)..
Since I now have the bun is Maximum Security NIC pen there has not been so many problems and as someone else mentioned with in this thread that BF's have bad days and other days I catch him slipping the bun cranberries or if I'm late home - he'll let the bun out and feed it.. It helped me to not "argue" along with him when he starts in on the bun and make sure to give the BF just as much attention as the bun..
You'll figure it out and I'm truly here whenever you need to vent with someone.
Best of luck,
Julie and Baxter!
Since I now have the bun is Maximum Security NIC pen there has not been so many problems and as someone else mentioned with in this thread that BF's have bad days and other days I catch him slipping the bun cranberries or if I'm late home - he'll let the bun out and feed it.. It helped me to not "argue" along with him when he starts in on the bun and make sure to give the BF just as much attention as the bun..
You'll figure it out and I'm truly here whenever you need to vent with someone.
Best of luck,
Julie and Baxter!
slavetoabunny
Well-Known Member
juliew19673 wrote:
LOL, I just have to laugh. I know hubby loves the fosters, but sometimes he just gets grouchy and starts complaining about how inconvenienced he is because of them. I just "yeah, yeah OK" and let him wear out his rant.
Bo B Bunny
Well-Known Member
Yeah, Jealousy is a huge issue with my hubby I think..... but I'd never say that to him LOL!
Awww Baxter! is the best little guy!
Floof needs you! I dont' think getting rid of her is the best option. Just put her in a cage and make her an area to play in there... make her cage bigger? Bo was out today and hadn't been for a couple of days......... he went back in his cage and made a blankie nest. Of course when I closed his cage it ticked him off, but he's happy in his own little space.
Awww Baxter! is the best little guy!
Floof needs you! I dont' think getting rid of her is the best option. Just put her in a cage and make her an area to play in there... make her cage bigger? Bo was out today and hadn't been for a couple of days......... he went back in his cage and made a blankie nest. Of course when I closed his cage it ticked him off, but he's happy in his own little space.
purplepeacock
Well-Known Member
i'm fortunate that doug grew up with all sorts of furry animals in his house so he loves Liffey. now the birds (i have 5 canaries that sing all bloody day---loudly) he never complained about them but i know at first he thought they were dumb. but he knew that i loved them. and when i had a bad day at work i'm come home and talk to the birds or when they sing and act goofy and stuff i'd laugh at them. It made doug happy to see me happy and so he ended up liking the birds too. now he won't go as far as to clean them----mostly b/c he's afraid they'll escape the aviary when he opens the door---but he buys them treats and he helped build their aviary.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that when you love someone you might not LOVE the animal but you feel love for the person when you see their face light up when the pet brings them so much joy. and i know the birds annoy him--especially when he's watching football and they are all singing like crazy but he deals with it. when you love someone there is compromises that have to be made. if a person decides they may not love you b/c of a pet.......was it really love to begin with? i hope i'm not making you feel worse but it takes a big heart to take on being a bunnie-mom and i'd hate to see someone with a big heart like yours be unhappy when you deserve so much more.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that when you love someone you might not LOVE the animal but you feel love for the person when you see their face light up when the pet brings them so much joy. and i know the birds annoy him--especially when he's watching football and they are all singing like crazy but he deals with it. when you love someone there is compromises that have to be made. if a person decides they may not love you b/c of a pet.......was it really love to begin with? i hope i'm not making you feel worse but it takes a big heart to take on being a bunnie-mom and i'd hate to see someone with a big heart like yours be unhappy when you deserve so much more.
Raspberry82
Well-Known Member
Money stress can put a lot of strain on relationships.. my bf and I have miraculously survived through some very stressful times financially. This on top of your bf losing his job can really trigger a couple's anxiety and make them say things like.. "maybe I don't love you anymore.." when small things trigger his frustration like your bunny. He may not have meant it, it could have been an outward expression of his frustrations.
It may be that he's really worried about affording healthcare for all the pets if money is real tight as well as you guys getting by too with just your own expenses. I know many vets offer no interest payment options for health care, it might help to ease his anxiety to mention this for your bunny's care costs and find one of these vets to go to or even pet insurance. When I heard how expensive some bunny care can be, i started putting away a few hundred for it, just in case.
Also keep in mind that when guys lose their jobs, it is extremely stressful for them, even more so than for women because for men it is their identity. And not having a job can make them feel useless, unable to provide, a bad boyfriend, and depressed.
Has his frustration been coming up between you only since he lost his job?
I'm real sorry he said that, I know this must be hard!:hug1
It may be that he's really worried about affording healthcare for all the pets if money is real tight as well as you guys getting by too with just your own expenses. I know many vets offer no interest payment options for health care, it might help to ease his anxiety to mention this for your bunny's care costs and find one of these vets to go to or even pet insurance. When I heard how expensive some bunny care can be, i started putting away a few hundred for it, just in case.
Also keep in mind that when guys lose their jobs, it is extremely stressful for them, even more so than for women because for men it is their identity. And not having a job can make them feel useless, unable to provide, a bad boyfriend, and depressed.
Has his frustration been coming up between you only since he lost his job?
I'm real sorry he said that, I know this must be hard!:hug1
purplepeacock
Well-Known Member
oooops.....somehow i missed the part about the bf loosing his job. that's a big jolt to a man's ego. right now b/c of the economy i make more money than doug.....by quite a bit too. it doesn't bother me but i know it bother's him. i just keep telling him that one day when we have kids he'll be the bread winner of the family and i'll just be like a big mooch being barefoot and pregnant so i figure i'mjust trying to pull my weight now by taking over the big bills.
kherrmann3
Well-Known Member
purplepeacock wrote:
I don't have a car loan like Will does, though...
He was crabbier about the bunnies being around (and out) when he was unemployed. I just ignored it and told him that they keep me happy, and if he doesn't like it, too bad. I know that sounds harsh, but if I didn't have my animals, I'd have a hole in my heart.
That's what I tell Will, too! I used to pay most of the bills, now I'm unemployed, but still have to pay bills
I don't have a car loan like Will does, though...He was crabbier about the bunnies being around (and out) when he was unemployed. I just ignored it and told him that they keep me happy, and if he doesn't like it, too bad. I know that sounds harsh, but if I didn't have my animals, I'd have a hole in my heart.
purplepeacock
Well-Known Member
kherrmann3 wrote:
I'm actually really greatful for times like this when i am the breadwinner. i can't tell you how many married couples i know that get pregnant then the wife stops working but doesn't stop the spending. it gives me a new prospective on finances when i'm the person paying the bills. i think that when the times comes for me to stay home and be a mom or just work part time and be a mom that i'll look back on these times when i was the sole-provider and when i want those cute shoes and spend doug's money on buying them....i'll think twice. it definately gives me a better understanding of the stress of being the provider. i'm just happy that this won't be the rest of my life. i think it's stressful to be a man and to worry all the time about money and finances.purplepeacock wrote:That's what I tell Will, too! I used to pay most of the bills, now I'm unemployed, but still have to pay bills
He was crabbier about the bunnies being around (and out) when he was unemployed. I just ignored it and told him that they keep me happy, and if he doesn't like it, too bad. I know that sounds harsh, but if I didn't have my animals, I'd have a hole in my heart.
Becknutt
Well-Known Member
Sorry I'm late reading this, but when I went back to work Floppy (my first bun) was used to having free roam of the living area, and did not handle being in the cage all day well at all. In the end I adopted him a mate and they are both happy as can be. I don't have as close a bond with him as I used to and that sometimes makes me very sad. He would rather cuddle with Ruby (the girl bunny) than me anymore but they are happy even on days they don't get out of their enclosure and that is what matters.
