I need a cry and a vent

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BabyRue

BabyRue

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 7, 2012
Messages
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Location
, , Canada
I am throwing in the towel on forums. Well except for this one and the depression forum I am on.

I can not believe that people who call themselves adults can be so wrapped up into creating lynch mobs and bullying other members! To the point of attacking personal struggles a person is going through.

Why are people so hypocritical? They talk about how they are anti bullying and then in the next thread go and bully other members.

I am not going to go into details of what has caused this vent. I am going to stick to being some anonymous person who randomly posts about their rabbit *sigh*
 
I am on a couple other forums as well. One of which can get pretty heated as well.

I have had my feelings hurt on this unamed forum by other posters, and admittedly, I've probably hurt other people's feelings too even if I didn't realize it.

I am sorry for your bad experience. This sounds very cliche but it really is so true....you just can't let it bother you.

Online conversation is very different than real life. For one, people are much more courageous and may say "meaner" things than they would in real life (not that that makes it okay) and in addition it is hard to convey tone online AND people make assumptions about other posters that could be so far from the truth. And then, if none of those things apply, then there are just jerks and weirdos out there that get a kick out of being mean online and if that's the case they don't matter anyway,

Do your best to rise above people like that. Don't let it stress you. And lastly, pet your bun...that always makes me smile :)
 
I wish it was something as simple as being a few nasty words. But it is a lot more. I just said forget it. I am done and thats it. I don't need that forum. It just bites because I have been there a long time.

And id love to snuggle and pet Rue but she is in her terrible toddler phase lol. She is squirmy and bites and chews everything in site haha
 
This is one of many reasons why I love RO. I rarely see people pick fights or make nasty comments, and everyone is really careful to try not to offend and are quick to apologize if it seems they have hurt someone's feelings.

RO is such a friendly place; it's a nice change of pace from most places on the interwebs.
 
I'm sorry you have to experience that in other forums :(

The forums my boyfriend goes on seems as if there's always
that one person that wants to spark up an argument to
make everyone upset. it's not fair.

I agree with what Marissa said, RO is a really nice forum
although I've never joined any other forums in my life.
:hug2:
 
I'm sorry to hear you're having those problems. There are some people out there who use the anonymity of the internet to reveal all of the ugliness inside of them.

What you must do is remember that such people aren't happy. Happy people don't have to be snarky. They don't feel the need to belittle others.

One method I've found for dealing with jerks is to be friendly. It completely disarms them. For example, this one guy I knew years ago used to pick fights with everybody. I always ignored him, but that didn't work. He'd still say mean things about/ to me. One day, I started telling him I thought he was great and that I cared for him. At first, he was more hostile, but I kept at it. By the end of the month, he had stopped being mean to me. He didn't become friendly, but kind of acted like I wasn't even there. Every now and then, he'd make some half hearted attempt, and I'd always follow it with, "but You know I love you" or some such thing. He'd go right back to pretending I didn't exist.
 
My friend recently posted something ona mom forum for help...i was sooo upset reading how people responded to her making her out to be a horrible person. And these people wrre her friends...it really upset her for a couple weeks and she felt so betrayed. It makes it hard asking for help when you get backlash. I refuse to join people forums for this reason. I stay kinda invisible on the forums so i never get the backlash. Its sad that there is no safe place to go though.
 
People on this forum have a tendency to be supportive and friendly. I posted last week on Let you hare Down - Hats off to you at the Forum - just how I feel. I have found a good guideline in life is to not respond or be involved in those issues that you disagree with or upset you. Sorry that you have had a lousy experience.
 
That's 2bad.:( people r just solo judgmental all the time&nevr stop 2think about what they say or the other persons feelings.they also probley don't think about How many problems r in their own life that they should b trying to fix instead of judging others.Sorry, just b the better person...even though it's really hard some times:)
 
I know the feeling. I was a member of a great danes forums and got attacked because I used a water bottle (filled with water), to keep my dog from chewing or biting when she wouldn't listen to verbal commands. The backlash was unreal. I'm the type of person to argue back and can get just as snarky as someone else, but I quit that forum. These people were allowed to trash talk me and they do it others receiving praise for "loving the breed". Educational forums loose their ways when they become extremely opinionated and harassing.
 
Thank you everyone. I am still figuring out this forum and how the members interact here but so far I have really loved it. I find the members here to be open minded and supportive and very welcoming and warm.

In regards to smothering bullies with niceness? My problem is I am too nice. Which leads to me being taken advantage of by others and walked all over.

I am the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve and goes out of their way to help others.

The horse forum I was on I had sent members money when they were struggling with vet bills. I sent some ladies who were down on their luck financially and pregnant baby clothes, maternity clothes and even a doppler, soothers, cloth diapers etc etc etc...

And in return these people kick me when I am down and trample all over me and stab me in the back.

I am done with the being overly nice and helpful. I am just me and I will support you and cheer you on but going out of my way to help strangers is just not working for me *sigh*

Sorry for venting. I am coming across as a bitter nasty person and i'm not. I am just sick of being hurt I guess.

In regards to the depression forum. I wont post it on the open forum but if you do want to know feel free to pm me and I will pass on the link. I love it so much. The people there are simply amazing. A lot like the wonderful members we have here :)
 
You, know, ever since I got horses, I have come to realise how nasty a lot of the horse community is. A lot of judgemental people who are more likely to stab you in the back then help you. Not saying they're all like that... but it seems like the majority are.

Glad you found your way here. It's a fantastic forum with wonderful people.
 
I worked at a feed store and horse people in general are just...blah.

Its sad how cruel and selfish ppl can be. Sadly being nice is a bad tjing anymore and used against you.i hope this forum leaves you with more positive thoughts.
 
I understand completely what you are going through BabyRue. I was attacked by a member on a group on facebook, this member berated me and was very rude to me. The member got reprimanded and I was able to stay with the group. It pays to have friends in a group or even a forum and it also pays to be nice and not let things get to you. Always do the right thing and you will come out on top.
 
The comment sections on news sites tend to have the craziest, nastiest trolling. At least with those types of things, it's random hatefulness. When I read the comments it's sort of like a train wreck.

Forums like RO get people involved with each other and a certain amount of trust and respect develops. Misunderstandings are easy online. I've certainly had my feelings hurt, but usually things can be straightened out if everybody stops, and backs up for a few minutes to explain themselves.
 
I understand there are people making comments on news sites that are purposely offensive; they're called trolls. I don't recall why they do it; for "fun" of if they're paid, sort of like negative ads, but to an extreme. Doing that deters genuine dialogue.
 
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