Considering Another Rabbit

[jessicalovesjesse]

I feel awful when my boyfriend and I have to work and Odin is alone all day.
We both work full time and that is a lot of time that he is left completely by himself.
He always seems so bored and lonely when I get home, and I feel rather guilty about it.
Because of this I've been considering getting another rabbit to bond him to once he is neutered.
I would be going the adoption route this time because there are more than a few rabbits in Colorado who need homes.
But here is my only issue... my boyfriend. For whatever reason he is avidly against it and simply says we have enough pets (We have Odin, two rats, my cat and an old and grumpy little hamster.) I argue that I'm the one that cares for them, so why does it matter to him? I pay the vet bills, clean the cages, buy the food/toys/bedding.
And none of this bothers me in the least.

I would love for Odin to have a friend to spend his days with. How do I get my boyfriend to come around?
I mean, I gave him fair warning when we moved in together about my love for animals.

 

[myheart]

That really is a tough one, Jessica. I really shouldn't be the one to give advice since my marriage ended partly because ofmy pets.

I would find out what his real problem is. Are you not paying enough attention to him because you are too busy caring for the critters? What ever you do, be nice about questioning him. No pressure, no bad words, ect....

Another possibility is saying that you are thinking about taking Odin on a few dates at the shelter, would he like to go along to help pick out potential bond-mates. There are no guarantees that Odin will like any of the bunners, so you may end up going home with just Odin anyhow. Maybe your bf could name the new bunner.... Make him a part of the process, if he is willing.

 

[Nancy McClelland]

We discuss everything before doing anything. If one of us is against it then it goes to the "no fly" list. We've been together for 37 years so far. I would recommend discussing it if he will open up and see what the objections are. If you can't get past that, or it's a because, you're at a stalemate. I truly feel that one of the worst things you can do is to just go ahead, or nag--sort of like the Simpson's "are we there yet". Resentment can fester and turn into a really big deal. Every relationship is a two way street. Without some "give and take" they usually end up crumbling. If you want to talk further and get more of the warped, male perspective, PM me.

 

[OakRidgeRabbits]

I'd suggest more than anything, that you take the rabbit's "needs" out of it. Rabbits are very social animals but can do perfectly well on their own with some attention from you at night for an hour or two after work.

The most important thing to consider is whether YOU want a new bunny, can afford it financially, and whether it is something that is worth causing strife within your human relationships.

Odin is ok by himself, rabbits don't NEED friends (at least in my opinion). I think it's more important that you do what's best for you.

 

[PetoftheDay]

Don't be too hard on yourself, rabbits are crepuscular by nature, meaning awake and alert mornings and evenings the most, so he's probably not lonely during the day when you are out, he's napping!

 

[jessicalovesjesse]

myheart wrote:

That really is a tough one, Jessica. I really shouldn't be the one to give advice since my marriage ended partly because of my pets.

I would find out what his real problem is. Are you not paying enough attention to him because you are too busy caring for the critters? What ever you do, be nice about questioning him. No pressure, no bad words, ect.... 

Another possibility is saying that you are thinking about taking Odin on a few dates at the shelter, would he like to go along to help pick out potential bond-mates. There are no guarantees that Odin will like any of the bunners, so you may end up going home with just Odin anyhow. Maybe your bf could name the new bunner.... Make him a part of the process, if he is willing.

That's actually really good advice.
And it's also what I did when I told him that I wanted another rabbit after Pippin passed away.
He picked the breed, the name and basically monopolizes Odin now.

Last night I talked to him about it. And apparently his family is giving him grief about it because they think our number of animals is strange.:expressionless

I have to say I didn't see that one coming.



OakRidgeRabbits wrote:

I'd suggest more than anything, that you take the rabbit's "needs" out of it. Rabbits are very social animals but can do perfectly well on their own with some attention from you at night for an hour or two after work.

The most important thing to consider is whether YOU want a new bunny, can afford it financially, and whether it is something that is worth causing strife within your human relationships.

Odin is ok by himself, rabbits don't NEED friends (at least in my opinion). I think it's more important that you do what's best for you.

I don't really agree with you there.
Animals who are social live better quality lives in pairs.
In fact, Colorado's House Rabbit Society won't even adopt out single rabbit's because they believe that rabbits do much better in pairs or groups. And I would love to give Odin the best life I possibly can.

 

[Bunnymom,K]

I will put my two cents in for what it's worth. I have been married 11 years= my husband comes from a family that doesn't have much to do with animals (thinking they are unsanitary and a waste of money to have). Despite that we have dogs, cats, chickens, rabbits and a calf. The inlaws give us grief but what you (and your bf) need to keep in mind is that it isn't what others think and feel about the way you live it's how you guys feel about it.

You need to sit down and have a talk with your bf to make sure that he isn't feeling neglected (men are amazingly sensitive sometimes) or undervalued compared to the animals. My husband in general doesn't mind the animals most of the time- he even went as far as rescuing a stray domestic rabbit at his work (his co-workers were discussing shooting it for fun), but now he gets grief from his co-workers about us raising and rescuing rabbits. So he's become a bit more sensitive about it. So keep in mind- is he being ridiculed because of the animals. You need to look at it from his point of view.

Decide yourself if getting another rabbit is worth the potential riff it could put in your relationship- and is your relationship strong enough to work through it. You both deserve to be happy- and so does Odin. Granted rabbits get along just fine on their own- but yes, some are much happier with a friend.

 

[myheart]

jessicalovesjesse wrote:

myheart wrote:

That really is a tough one, Jessica. I really shouldn't be the one to give advice since my marriage ended partly because ofmy pets.

I would find out what his real problem is. Are you not paying enough attention to him because you are too busy caring for the critters? What ever you do, be nice about questioning him. No pressure, no bad words, ect....

Another possibility is saying that you are thinking about taking Odin on a few dates at the shelter, would he like to go along to help pick out potential bond-mates. There are no guarantees that Odin will like any of the bunners, so you may end up going home with just Odin anyhow. Maybe your bf could name the new bunner.... Make him a part of the process, if he is willing.

That's actually really good advice.
And it's also what I did when I told him that I wanted another rabbit after Pippin passed away.
He picked the breed, the name and basically monopolizes Odin now.

Last night I talked to him about it. And apparently his family is giving him grief about it because they think our number of animals is strange.:expressionless

I have to say I didn't see that one coming.

Maybe you could pm JadeIcing (Ali) about this one. She posted on her thread about family members thinking her pet numbers were too high. The discussion turned to the fact that pair-bonds are so much easier to take care of, and that Ali and her husband take care of their critter-kids together.

If your bf is willing to help take care of and love your fur-kids, what should the problem be with his family. You could always tell them that he is getting more practice for real kids (if that is the direction of your relationship). Otherwise, I think this is something he will have to decide on for himself; either making his family happy, or making Odin happy.