A few hours ago, my bun passed away. I don't know what to do with myself. I have cried louder than i have ever before. It hurts me so much. I don't know what happened. He got neutered today and was coming off of the anesthesia. He had a cone around his neck. He was beating himself around the cage so much. Hitting himself everywhere. I tried to keep him quiet as best as i could. I really did. Then at one moment he yelled. I can't get the sound out of my head and it's killing me. He started to bleed through his mouth. It was everywhere. He could not stand up. I laid him down and he was fighting to breathe. And i just watched helpless. I didn't know what to do. I tried. I held him in my arms and he died. But he clearly suffered and that is what is hurting so much. I wish I didn't do this to him and get him neutered i feel like i let my little buddy down. I don't know how I am going to move on from this. All these memories of my little baby and then to keep remembering that i watched him die and suffer. I feel like i let him down and it hurts. I was helpless and i was clueless as to what to do.
I know you all don't need this depressing thing here but i just needed to get it out.
I know you all don't need this depressing thing here but i just needed to get it out.