Need to change hair dressers!

[spoh]

Okay, I will apologize for making this so long in advance because in order for you to understand I will need to explain.

I have done doing home daycare for the last 13+ years, today is my last day!!!!! One of my daycare Mom's has been my hair dresser since her first son started coming her 12 years ago. I love her dearly but I need a change. When I get my hair done I like to relax and enjoy the girl time, her shop is at her house and she thinks that I love her kids so much that I don't mind them being in the shop while I am there. I've literally had the youngest (3) climbing in my lap while I'm in the chair. She says nothing to the little girl. It drives me nuts!

A couple of years ago I wanted to see how my hair would look if somebody else cut it so I told her that one of the other daycare moms who at the time worked at a salon gave me a gift certificate to HER salon. She was upset with both me and the other daycare Mom. This is a person that you just don't want to get on the wrong side of. As much as I like her she is a HUGE gossip and I now own my own business I can't afford to have her gossiping about me. I think half the time she gets to talking that she doesn't really pay any attention to what she is doing so if we have talked about doing something a bit different she forgets because she is so busy talking.

Another thing thatbothers me is that she doesn't do any sort of continuing ed., she doesn't go to hair shows, she doesn't think that she needs to learn anything new. She still pulls hair through the little cap to do highlights, nobody does that anymore.

I am probably painting a pretty bad picture of her, it's not really that bad but I am done with daycare, Idon't want to go there and have her kid in my lap, I want something fresh, not the same thing that I have had for12 years. I have an appointment scheduled for the 20th, Ithought that maybe I would go to that appointment but then say that I will call her to schedule the next and thennot call, but she is the type that would call and ask me why I haven'tcalled.I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want to make her mad so how do I approach it? I have known this girl since we were kids, we lived in the same neighborhood, I see her parents at the store, we stop and talk, our husbands graduated together and their class reunion is coming up we will be hanging with each other because neither of us know many other people who will be there.

What would you do?How the heck do I tell her that I want to try somebody new?

HELP!

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Tell her that so and so.. (husband, mom, BF) got you a mucho grande gift certificate to so and so's salon as a gift for whatever reason, as a surprise, and it was to large of an amount for you to waste, and seeing as they thought enough of you to spend such a large amount on you, you thought it best to honor their gift and use it.

 

[juliew19673]

Fabulous excuse! I second that suggestion.

 

[LadyBug]

^i third that idea! i hope it all works out!

 

[GoinBackToCali]

I gave this a bit more thought...

Make it somebody she can't readily check your story with, and therefore. someone else won't have to be either caught off guard, or have to fudge for you as well..

 

[myheart]

Sorry, I vote for telling the truth. If the two of you aregood enoughfriends, telling her that you really need your "me-time" without children around would be greatly appreciated because that is your "off" time. I would put it in the ranks of some one spending ALL day on the computer only to come home and have people expect them to send e-mails or instant messenger for half of their night at home while they really just want to go out for a walk to give their eyes and minda break. If she can't get over it, then say your sorry, but you need to find a hair-dresser who can respect your needfor peace and quiet, and helpful/meaningful conversation.

I would be afraid of not telling the truth only to have it blow up ten-fold back at me. A much worse scenario than losing a friend who cannot respect your needs as a working individual.Just a thought...

myheart

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

That would drive me insane! I also agree with you about not furthering their education on the changing techniques. The way I found my current stylist, is a girl that I worked with, loved her haircut! So, I asked her who she went to and I've been going to her ever since (about 2 years now). So, you could tell the partial truth and also mention that a friend of yours just got this awesome cut and that you want to try them, after all, it's no crime to fire a stylist! You could still be friends with her, if she is a big enough person to not take it personally and drag your namethrough the mudd, which would be pretty immature:?.

 

[spoh]

myheart wrote:

I would be afraid of not telling the truth only to have it blow up ten-fold back at me. A much worse scenario than losing a friend who cannot respect your needs as a working individual.Just a thought...

myheart

That is what I have been tossing back and forth. Like I said before this is somebody that I have known forever. My sister and dad both still go to her, my Mom use to but shestopped a while back. I don't think either my dad or sister would say anything but things slip. I want to end it on good terms, I can't say that I will never go back to her. When I tried somebody else ONCE years ago, I went in and told him to do whatever he thought worked for my face etc. He cut it exactly the same way that she had been for years and charged me double.

Now I just have to figure out how to approach her with it, she's not the most approachable person.

Thanks everybody for your thoughts!

Joy

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

Maybe dont approach her wait for her to bring it up to you. I have never had this problem when i wanted to go somewhere else i just went, but i understand that there is a personal relationship with this person. You could always say something like you were out and decided to get your hair done and the place was there. I am that type of person i just decide when i wake up and then go out and get it done,lol.

 

[myheart]

Luvmyzoocrew wrote:

You could always say something like you were out and decided to get your hair done and the place was there.

That might not be a bad idea.... Perhaps you and your mom could plan time together -- do the girlie-thing of getting your hair done together. I hear of a few mother/daughter dates of spa treatments, or salon dates, with lunch before or after. It wouldn't be a lie and it might get you off the hook for a while.You would also get tospend some quality time with your mom. Maybe you would like the place she goes to. At some point though, you will probably have to fess-up to some of your real feelings about the situation.

myheart