Estelle - I am so sorry to hear about yourfriends mother, very sad for her, you and her family. My good friend'sbrother committed suicide 6 months ago, and although it is slightlydifferent, she has still lost a close family member. My advice is justbe there (body and mind) - don't be frightened to talk about it whenshe is ready and share thoughts and later on memories.
The worst is when other people can not acknowledge it and are toofrightened that they might cry. Your friend will cry lots and lots andthis would be no different whether you were to mention it or not. Myfriend found it sooo upsetting ifother frinds did not mentionit , she would say "I have not died, I am still here, I am still me"...etc.
Also another a really important thing is to remember it gets worseafter 3 months, although this does not always happen but often does.The initial shock passes and the reality hits home and they then reallymiss them, esp. as the one person they want to talk to is often thatperson. Make sure you stay aware that the grief does not just pass -and you regularly text her, call her, buy her books to read (not on"grief", she will want to do that if she wants) as it will keep hermind busy and help her sleep. When she feels ready to see the outsideworld, invite her to places and start to slowly introduce the thingsyou used to do together.
It sounds like you are doing a smashing job so far and you care so muchthat you are posting here which is amazing. She will sometimes need tosob, and let her. Some friends of my friend have made a distance sinceher brothers death (one even compared it to recently being dumped??
). My friend is really hurt and will find it difficult toforgive these friends that avoided the issue.
Good luck - and it must be really sad for you too, as I felt with myfriend's brothers death - just be there, listen, talk -- simple advicebut my friend said she would not have got thru the last 6 monthswithout our close knit group of girlie friends to help her.
Good luck xx :clover:
