Bad tantrum tonight

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audrinasmommy88

audrinasmommy88

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Dec 21, 2011
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Location
Hampton, Virginia, USA
Audrina has been good all day! the minute my husband walked in she started to act up. She heard him pull up and went to go running out of the door, I told her to wait because it is raining outside. She immediately started a tantrum. Then she wanted to get on the iPad but my husband told her not right now because he needed to check his email and pay some bills. That sent her into an uproar. Screaming and kicking. So I told her to go to her room. I am doing what Morgan suggested and closed her door. She is in there screaming and yelling and I guess throwing stuff. Im hoping she doesnt hit her tv with something because we just bought it and its a flat screen. We are going on 20 minutes of this tantrum....Im trying to have the will power to let her finish :?:( My husband keeps saying to leave her alone and she will stop
 
Let her finish. Then talk to her about what happened to make her so angry. Oh my god, I just teared up thinking about whats happening. I KNOW it is so hard! I know it is.
 
Agree I know it's hard but leave her alone. If you go in then she has won the fight. (((HUGS))) At least your husband is home to help this time.
 
It took 30 minutes but she stopped. Her room is a wreck. She pulled all of the clothes out of her drawers and theres toys everywhere. But she is like a different child now. She is helping my husband do the dishes. I sent him in the room to talk to her when she finally stopped. She just kept saying she wanted to play her spongebob game on the iPad. She just hates being told no about something. She is a very "right now" child. When she wants something, its hard to compromise with her. We are working on that.

Morgan, that was beyond hard...but it seemed to work. She got her frustration out and now she is fine. But man is that hard on a mom. I went to our bedroom so I didnt have to hear her screaming anymore. My husband handles things like that better than me. I guess its a man thing lol
 
Woah...she has a tv? o_O Flat screen no less? Adopt me!

Man, that sounds so like me. I was very spoilt, because my mum wasn't well enough to control me; I got used to always(or almost always; I did have siblings!) having things my way. She needs to learn young that her wants(separate 'needs' from 'wants') don't always come first, or believe me, she is going to have it very very tough come teen and young adult hood. Hopefully once her younger brother comes, she learns how to share. Good luck!
She really doesn't understand how you feel. She really has no concept of the pain she gives you. Don't forget that.
 
Yes she has a tv...we got her a flat screen a few months ago because it was on sale for cheap. Its just a little 17 inch. She doesnt get it at nap time or bedtime. Its only on during the day while she is up playing. She is spoiled, and thats me and my husbands fault. Funny thing is, she never asks for anything except candy. We can be in the toy aisle and it doesnt phase her. She's not one of those kids that wants everything she sees. Im thankful for that.
 
I'm glad to hear that you stayed strong. Trust me I know it's hard.

I would make her clean up her room herself so she learns the consequences of her actions. Just a thought.
 
I went in there with her and she cleaned up her toys and I put her clothes back. Didnt want her shoving them in the drawers because she doesnt know how to fold or where her clothes go
 
I'm so glad you stayed strong Rachel. I know its so hard, but when I did it she wasn't MY child but it was still gut wrenching. I would sit in the hallway and cry and cry while I listened.
I'm glad that it worked, its just such a process being a parent. It truly is one of the hardest jobs. I'm glad your husband was there tonight though.
 
Morgan, I'm glad he was too. He helps me to stick my ground. I'm such a nurturer. I just wanted to go fix the problem and make it all better. But she has to learn that i'm not always going to be able to just fix her problems and she has to sort them out herself. Teaching life lessons is the hardest part of parenting lol
 
We had one tantrum because I asked her three times to go outside and get her jacket and she wouldn't do it. So finally I took her to the back door and made her go get it since she left it out there. That didnt fly over so well. She laid in the backyard and screamed (beside her jacket), I let her do it for a few minutes and then brought her in and did the same thing as I did last night. I was scared the neighbors would call the cops or something with her out there screaming like that. Thankfully my husband called after about 10 minutes of her in her room with the door closed because I was about to cave.He stayed on the phone with me and distracted me until she was done. She then came out of her room and said "Im sorry I didnt listen to you mommy" so I hugged her and then we colored. She has NEVER apologized to me after a punishment so something must be clicking
 
I wouldn't have left my kid outside either. hahaha.
I know its so hard to NOT go in there and console them, but it wouldn't help. They're still so mad and upset that they just turn on you. I've been hit before and its horrible. You shouldn't go in there because you're so pregnant. You just have to let them get all that out of them, I know its so much easier said than done. But you're being SO strong and doing such a great job.
How long was the tantrum today?
 
Thanks Morgan. Words if encouragement and hearing that I'm doing the right thing makes me feel better. Today's tantrum was about 20 minutes. Not as long as last night. And then to hear her apologize made it worth it. She has actually apologized twice for her tantrum today
 
OK going into my role as a therapy aid here. (youth therapy mostly teens but some young children to) If this is a new thing (I read your other post) then its most likely being caused by a deep set frustration and possible anxiety. She is trying to pull your 100 percent attention into her and because at 3 we do not have social skills to speak of this is how she is doing it. I am guessing its cause you are pregnant and she knows the new baby is coming. Your buying clothes and toys for baby your fixing up the baby area and your rubbing your belly and most likely talking to the baby. Without seeing her I am guessing its making her nervous.
 
Our therapist has said that some of this is because of the new baby. From the beginning we have made her a part of everything. She helped paint the nursery, she picked out clothes for him, she picked out toys for him, and everytime we buy the baby something we buy her something too. We don't want her to feel left out. Some of it too is her age. She is testing limits and pushing buttons. So with both mixed together it's coming out in these tantrums. I just hope we can get a handle on it before the baby gets here
 
audrinasmommy88 wrote:
Thanks Morgan. Words if encouragement and hearing that I'm doing the right thing makes me feel better. Today's tantrum was about 20 minutes. Not as long as last night. And then to hear her apologize made it worth it. She has actually apologized twice for her tantrum today
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I'm so excited that you're seeing progress already! while I don't have kids myself, I've taken care of children before and I can only imagine how hard it must be to ignore your daughter when she's so upset - emotionally, you feel like "it's mommy's job to go in and make it all better" even if, rationally, you know that ignoring her is for the best.

keep staying strong and before you know it, there'll be a lot less to have to ignore :D
 
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