Anyone else struggle with homemaking?

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Bo B Bunny

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When my kids were little you could eat off of my floors!!! I was called "the white tornado!" by family.

now...... Ugh! LOL
 

TinysMom

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Bassetluv wrote:
Peg, I have no idea what any of those systems are that you mentioned, but omigosh you seem to post things that are similar to my life!

That's sorta scary! I feel sorry for you if your life is like mine in some of these areas...

I've been struggling with housework for a long time now; mainly because my house is so ##$% small,

Our house is a decent size but it is small for the amount of "stuff" that we have. The problem is - so much of that stuff comes from who we "were" vs. who we are now. I need to go through and get rid of stuff...but it is like giving up a part of my life that was important to me at one time - like my teddy bear collection and the wicker furniture and trikes and stuff I had for the bears...or all our old video tapes (our player plays both dvd and vcr tapes)....or a lot of homeschooling how-to books that I've outgrown now that my kids are gone.

Add into the mix the fact that I too have too much 'stuff', two older cats with issues, and I've been going through a semi-depression (which, when I go through that, makes it immensely hard for me to do even the reg. housework), and it's total chaos here.

You know what is amazing to me? I think depression is like a vicious cycle...at least for me the whole housekeeping/depression thing is a vicious cycle. I get depressed because my house is bad...which then makes my house worse because I feel it is hopeless.

Finally - something kicks me in the pants (normally it is Art doing a straigthening up/cleaning up or purging of his stuff) and I do a bunch of stuff and pull myself out of the depression for a few weeks. Then I get busy...or depressed...the house goes downhill and the cycle starts all over again.

I hate it. It makes me feel so inadequate as a woman/wife/person that I can't take better care of stuff. But the fact is - I get so overwhelmed that it is like I am surrounded by stuff but can't break it down into the various jobs to figure out what needs to be done.

So I hide from it...

I don't like this - I'm 47 - almost 48 and I want to start breaking this cycle now.

I'm also one who - in my rare moments of wanting to clean - will only want to do so if I can rearrange everything; but the house is so small that I can't rearrange much of anything...there's always a doorway or window or something in the way.

I'm not quite like that - but sorta like that. For instance - if I'm going to clean the kitchen - I clean it to the point that I'm exhausted from all the work I put into it - too exhausted to put stuff away later on.

Or I'll take on a project like organizing the cupboards...when what I need to do first is put stuff away and declutter the countertops.

lol...when I was going through radiation treatments a few years ago, people at work gave me a certificate to a cleaning company for a free 'onceover' cleaning. I never did use it, because I was mortified thinking that the house was way too messy/dirty for even cleaners to come in. :?

Oh - I so get that...that would be me. Or I'd misplace the certificate and then spend months trying to remember where I put it...
 

pumpkinandwhiskersmom

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Totally count me in!!! I come from a long line of "neat as a pin, everything in it's place" women....I'm a total flop! My mom had a cleaning lady that came once a week, and Mom actually cleaned things up before she came, so that all she had to do was dust, mop and vacuum. I think it's the amazing amount of stuff that we all seem to struggle with....bunny stuff, kid stuff, hubbie stuff, and my stuff, especially BOOKS!!!! We're overrun, particularly since we moved into this smaller, cramped house. Someday, I keep telling myself, we'll get a place that is big enough for our stuff....but I think Buckingham Palace and the Taj Mahal are occupied!!!!
 

seniorcats

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What??? You mean my carpet isn't supposed to have a layer of cat hair on it?

I struggle with cleaning my own house. I think it's because there is a DH in it. He messes up as any 5 year old. It's funny because I clean at the shelter - scrubbing walls and floors and litter boxes. I am meticulous there.

Also I am a volunteer janitor at our church. Our pastor is the only paid person in the church so all the other tasks (secretary, treasurer, nursery, property care, etc) are handled by volunteers. Once a month I get my turn cleaning on Saturdays with 2 other ladies. We are meticulous there too.

The giant dust bunnies upstairs got to me today while I was sewing so I can feel a cleaning frenzy coming on. Will need to send DH away for a few days.
 

Bassetluv

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I get depressed because my house is bad...which then makes my house worse because I feel it is hopeless. Finally - something kicks me in the pants (normally it is Art doing a straigthening up/cleaning up or purging of his stuff) and I do a bunch of stuff and pull myself out of the depression for a few weeks. Then I get busy...or depressed...the house goes downhill and the cycle starts all over again.
Yes, vicious cycle. One of my problems too is that I tend to hide my emotions so well that often I don't even recognize how sad I am at first. What tends to tip me off is that my housework goes steadily downhill, I start eating badly, get more tired, etc. And it does go in cycles...I will reach a 'bottom-out' moment, and then I start to feel better again. I think a lot of it has to do with being alone, because (way back) when I was married, I was never like this. Apt was always tidy and clean (still hated housework just as much, but at least I did it :p), I had more interest in things, in life.

hehe...as for having cleaners come in, we're not the only ones who get paranoid...I have a friend who used to live in Mass (in Calif now) and she had the most gorgeous house. I went to visit her once several years ago; her entire home was absolutely pristine and spotless. She confessed to me that she had cleaners come in twice a week, and the day before they were to arrive she'd be working furiously to straighten things up and clean so it would look nice for them. LOL!!!
 

bat42072

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I used to clean my aunts house years ago ... she would clean her house before I would get there the only thing she left for me to do was to make her bed and fold a load of clothes.... I quit because I felt bad taking her money just for 2 small chores.
 

kirst3buns

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I know you've tried it, but the flylady system is the only thing that has sort of stuck with me over the last four years. Even when I'm not "doing" it, I still never take myself off the email list. I'm afraid that if I did, I would never climb back on the "flylady wagon". I've actually kind of just gotten back into it in the last couple of weeks and someday I'm even going to do a flylady missions (yes, I realize this is like Greek to anyone who isn't familiar with it:)). My house is way better now than when I first started with it.

I think the key to that whole flylady system for me is the decluttering and I also think that is emotionally/mentally the hardest thing to do. It took about a year of reading testimonials for me to really start thinking about getting rid of stuff. I think now that I've done some major decluttering, I can see how easy it is to keep it clean now and that has kept me going to do more. However, it is an ongoing battle. Anyway, I think you are right in your assessment that TOO MUCH STUFF is the culprit but I have to agree that this is a really hard habit/lifestyle to change.

And I see you mentioned Peter Walsh too...have you read his books at all? I loved "It's All Too Much". It really deals a lot with our mental/emotional reasons for having all this stuff...very motivational.

So, just a bit of support, you are NOT alone.
 

Maureen Las

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OMG I cannot believe this thread.

I have 7rabbits, 1 parrot , 1guinea pig and 2 cats in the upstairs and the 2 dogs always stay downstairs.

I am always working but because the animal stuff comes first ..I am always stumbling over misplaced stuff and clutter and sometimes it takes me hours to find something piled on a chair.
The upstairs is a mess

Idon't have good organizational skills. it doesn't come natural
I wish that i could be chosen for that show where the crew comes into your house , makes you throw out what you don't use, have a garage sale or donate half of your stuff to charity.
I wish I had a functional home since i have so many pets.
I am always buried in paper, old mail , last years cards, hay and rabbit hair.

I didn't know so many other forum members were like me

LOL:biggrin2:


 

TinysMom

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This upcoming week is supposed to be (ha ha ha) a lighter week for me for work - so I'm hoping to get some decluttering and organizing done.

Supposedly...

We'll see...

 

Maureen Las

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One of the things I really despise doing is sorting through old papers and mail and cleaning out drawers.

I'd rather do litterboxes any day
Good Luck Peg on next week :)
 

Leaf

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angieluv wrote:
One of the things I really despise doing is sorting through old papers and mail and cleaning out drawers.
I have a paper shredder set up on a box right next to the computer desk. As I browse online or work on the computer I go through mail, old papers etc and shred everything I can. Doing it thatt way "seems" to save me some time and makes a task I dont like doing... a little easier.
 

mouse_chalk

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angieluv wrote:
One of the things I really despise doing is sorting through old papers and mail and cleaning out drawers.

I'd rather do litterboxes any day
Good Luck Peg on next week :)
Ohhhhhh... TELL me about it! That's the worst thing in our house. Mail just piles up EVERYWHERE... and then when I do finally delcutter and get rid of it all and shred/recycle it, you know what happens?

MORE comes through the letter box! :shock:

I realy, really need to clean.... I didn't get any done the other day like I said I would... I'm not surprised... :(
 

Leaf

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mouse_chalk wrote:
The laundry is a major bugbear of mine... Our washing basket seems to pile up until it's over flowing... And then I'll do a couple of loads, but the dryer doesn't dry them quick enough and the stuff that wont go in the dryer takes AAAAAGES to dry, meanwhile I have wet washing in the basket waiting to go up to dry... And then it gets forgotten about, and has to be rewashed.... :cry1::cry1::cry1:
I'm pretty much in the same boat. I dont was too far ahead because my dryer is slow - or if I do I take the dry stuff out of the dryer, leave the damp stuff in - add the stuff from the washer and before long... the dryer is crammed, blue jeans legs are a roped up mess and I have piles of stuff to fold and/or put away but I never seem to get around to it so I either wear straight from the dryer, clean clothes basket or clothes bar (I do hang my stuff on a bar in the laundry room) - or eventually I end up rewashing clothes because the get too wrinkled or they are just in the way.
 

TinysMom

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I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one who has to rewash clothes sometimes.

Sometimes Art will start a load - forget about it - and then I go in to find it still in the washer... :shock:

But I gotta give him credit - he is a real help as far as being willing to load and unload the dishwasher and stuff like that. He truly makes my life easier in many ways...
 

Maureen Las

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Leaf wrote:
mouse_chalk wrote:
The laundry is a major bugbear of mine... Our washing basket seems to pile up until it's over flowing... And then I'll do a couple of loads, but the dryer doesn't dry them quick enough and the stuff that wont go in the dryer takes AAAAAGES to dry, meanwhile I have wet washing in the basket waiting to go up to dry... And then it gets forgotten about, and has to be rewashed.... :cry1::cry1::cry1:
I'm pretty much in the same boat. I dont was too far ahead because my dryer is slow - or if I do I take the dry stuff out of the dryer, leave the damp stuff in - add the stuff from the washer and before long... the dryer is crammed, blue jeans legs are a roped up mess and I have piles of stuff to fold and/or put away but I never seem to get around to it so I either wear straight from the dryer, clean clothes basket or clothes bar (I do hang my stuff on a bar in the laundry room) - or eventually I end up rewashing clothes because the get too wrinkled or they are just in the way.
OMG you guys are talking about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Maureen Las

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NorthernAutumn wrote:
And me!

But top this: I manage to turn on the washing machine, pour the detergent in, walk away to get the clothes and...

get sidetracked. Talk about wasting water!
I put the clothes in and the soap , get sidetrackedand forget to turn the machine on LOL....
 

Leaf

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Turn it on, putsoap in it and the clothes... but forget to put the top down. A few hours later remember to switch the laundry over and find it barely washed and nowhere near ready to dry.
 

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