A innocent boy with a tough life

[MyBoyHarper]

Okay, so this is going to be a bit long, but I have to just get it out. So bare with me!

Two and a half years ago, I met a little 10 year old boy. He startedwalking to the pet store I worked at everyday to buy crickets for hisfrogs he would catch. We formed a bond and we became very close. Hismom was a drug addict and alcoholic who had full custody of him withher boyfriend. His mom liked me right from the beginning (probablybecause over time, I ended up doing EVERYTHING for him). I became hisbest friend and I took him to school, picked him up from school, tookhim to all his basketball games, recorded and took pictures of hisgames for him, chatted with all the other b-ball mom's because his momwas never around. I became close to his grandma (his real dad'smother), as she was the only other one around. Due to age though, itwas harder for her to do as much for him. I bought him birthday andchristmas presents, took him to the movies and mall, and basicallyspent half my paycheck on him every payday. Well, 6 months ago I quitmy job and they moved far off soon after. We continued to talk, butwhen they lost their phone, I couldn't get in contact with him.

Well, I was at the store today and I bought him some christmaspresents. While in the store, I called his grandma to ask her if she'dbe making a trip to see him, or if they would be coming down soon sothat he could get his presents. She said yes, and that he may be downfor Christmas at her house and she would definitely make sure I got tosee him (I think I'll have a fit when I see my baby!). She then went onto tell me the latest news. His mom broke up with her boyfriend afterhe beat her senseless (never hadmuch sense to begin with),and then she got busted for crystal meth. She went to jail and lostcustody of him and his little brother and sister, and they all livewith their dad now very far away. He ended up seeing ALL of this, andthen when the mother got out of jail, she was homeless and living onthe street because she's an addict now. Now they can't even find her,but no one seems too concerned (you'd have to know her to find out whattype of parent she was, or lack there of... *snorts*).

I just feel so bad and everyone keeps telling me that I was the ONLYpositive thing in his life. And that makes me feel great, but then theygo on to say that with his childhood, he's going to grow up to have alot of problems (he's already on his way there). I wish I could preventthis or do something about it. I get pissed at myself for not doingMORE, but then I feel like there's not much I can do. In the beginning,everyone pushed me to get custody of himand he wantedto come live with me. His grandma actually supported this, but hismother refused to give up rights. Now she lost her rights and he's withhis real dad, who used to never get to see him due to her having fullcustody. He is in a more stable environment now, but he's gone throughone thing after the other lately. And now his OTHER grandma, hismother's mom, is trying to take custody away from his father! No ideahow that is going to go....

*Sigh* Tis the season...

 

[nangobi]

I've been trying to think of what I could say toyou- I don't have any clever words of wisdombutwhat you did for this boy was more than many of us wouldhave done. You were a positive and loving presence inhis life and no one can predict what will happen to him - good orbad.

It's not really the time to start telling you stories of other people'sexperiences, but what I have learnt is thatthe love and careyou showed him may not be forgotten by him, even if it may not seemthat way for a while. I worked with a youth group many years ago andone of the boys in that group drove me to distraction though a lot ofthe other leaders let him get away with the behavour. He wasdisruptive, rude, insolent..... a nightmare. A couple ofyears ago a tall, handsome, politeyoung man walked up to mein my shop and introduced himself as that very boy. Heproceeded to tell me that he had never forgotten that I was the onlyone who never put up with his nonsense, even to the point of facing upto his family who considered him to be the blue eyed boy. I never wouldhave believed that I had any influence over this child. but now I knowthat I did.

Thank you so much for sharing this story. I was once a committedChristian who took great joy in life, but the past few years have wornme down to a cynical shadow of my former self. You'vereminded of the person I was. Please do keep telling yourself that youdid what you thought was best at the time - and what you did really wasmarvellous. Try not to beat yourself up about what's happenednow - you have touched his life, replacing thefear andinstability withyour friendship and security - if you hadn'tbeen there,he would never have experiencedthat veryprecious gift.

With love, Amanda

 

[binkies]

I am speechless. There is nothing that I can saythat others have already said. You are a truely wonderful person fordoing what you did. He needed someone in his life and you were therefor him as long as you could be. So many others probably didnt evencare. Just walked away, saying to themselves "he will be ok".

Thank you for being there. You will be rewarded later for such good deeds.

 

[tenacrewoods]

Wow! MyBoyHarper

That is such a Sad and HeartwarmingStory,You Really Are an Angel!:angelandbunny: You and I havea Lot in common, You Gave this young Boy

enough love to Last him A lifetime and he won't forget it. He may begetting in a bit of trouble now but all teenage boys do too one extentor another but it would be a lot worse Right Now if you hadn't been apart of His Life.

Sometimes because of circumstances at any giventimewe're only able to do so much and You went Far beyond hisor anyone else's expectations except foryours of coarse!

I wouldn't be at all surprised if one day when your Marriedand have young kids of your own and you've almost let him slip thruyour mind(But That CouldNever Happen) He'll stop by to giveyou a Great Big Hug and Thank You for changing His Life.

When the wife and I first got Married and long before we hadChildren an old friend of mine stopped by (I knew he had startedgetting into drugs pretty heavy) but I'd known him since grammar schooland He had his 2 Boys with him, A 4 & 6 yr. old. I saw him on asimi-regular basis,You know at the Grocery Store ,Auto Parts, FeedStore.

Well he asked the Wife and I if we'd watch his boys for Acouple of Hours, I could tell he was all ready a bit loadedso instead of letting him drive away with his 2 BeautifulBoys I told him Sure we'll watch them and I'd drive himwherever he needed to go. He declined the ride but at least his boyswere safe.

To make a very long Story short, 2 Hours went then2 days and I finally called his Mom Who lived out of State Now too seeif she'd heard from him, In the back of my mind I knew she Hadn't but Iwas starting to get worried and the Boy's were asking questions. Ifound out from the neighbors that his wife had been with him that Dayand From what his Mom said the had both been doing drugs for awhile nowand apparently They had just givin me and My new Bride their2Boys and walked away!:shock2:

After long talks with his family and hers (2 weeks Now),Mywife decidedit would be better to leave them with us thensend them somewhere unfamiliar and GrandMa Couldn't fly in to get thembecause her husband was dying of cancer and she was affraid he'd goatanytime plus we didn't reallymind, If we justknew where the Parents were so we could tell the Boyssomething.

The Next day or2I get A letter( lookedlike a 2 yr old) had written it saying that they were giving us Custodyof Their Boys,:faint:JustLike That-Easy as Pie.:bigtears:

We immediately called a Lawyerand asked what too do, She saidthe Letter wasn't a binding Adoption letter and useless we turned themin to child welfare, Which we Couldn't Do at thistime,theyhad every right tocome get themanytime they wanted Too!

Well the Wife and I had Darryl and Donny for just over 2 Months totaland the Parents came back out of the blue one evening and wanted totake them home. My wife and I were SOP***ed (NoCall,Nothing)but what could we do?I'lltell you What I Did, They were Both Higher than Kites of coarse so Italked them into staying the night so they could sober up and theirboys where Kinda scared of them and Clinging to Us so we wanted them toease back into this if we really hadNo other Choice!
We'll It didn't work that easy for them,as they relaxed Ipretended that I'd been paged and Had to run to the office.I wasaMaintenance Supervisor at a Lg. Apt. Complex but instead Icalled the Police and Children's ProtectiveServices that I'dbeen in contact with.

They came right over and arrested the parents and C.P.Stookthe Boys, The wifeand I cryed for many weeks just like I amdoing now writing this!:cry4:We never saw those little boysagain (As We had no Rights Too)but thought they would bebetter off then back with theirOwnParents.

Ourwonderful Court System in Texas thoughtDifferentlyand we found out from his mother thattheCourts gave the the boys right back to thesesame Drug Addicts just1-1/2 weeks after they were taken fromour house, I guess all they needed to do was Sober Up alittle.:bigtears::nonono::growl:

We did have the chance to Share All the Love we had with Them foratleast 2 months and I wouldn't trade that for anything other thanbeing able to have Kept them, Raised them and Loved themwithAll our Hearts.:heartbeat: :bigtears:

I'm So Very Sorry for Pouring my Heart Out All over Your Thread MyBoyHarper
andthat this Was so very Long! I stillthink about those 2 Precious littleBoys and It Still ReallyHurts even after 17 years.

I've never shared this with anyone other than my wife andeven though it Hurt Sotoo remember, I CouldNeverForget them and it seemed a bitcomforting to let it all out!

Thanks! for Listening!



Mike E.

"Tell Me,I'll Forget"
"Show Me,I'll Remember"
"Involve Me,I'llUnderstand"