Write a description for our evil M&M packet for Ebay (contest) NOT A JOKE AND NOT SPAM :)

[I_heart_Fraggles]

OK so I have to tell you all the story first.
Yesterday Jason was stuffing his gob with pb m&m's. He could not find the huge bag at the store so he bought a big bag full of little packets ya know the "fun size".

So he is eating them wrappers are flying and bunnies are begging (no they did not get any. Peanut butter is only funny on dogs) Anyway he is eating this bag and he makes a shocking and horrifying discovery....

A M&M packet completely unopened and perfect but only containing ONE PB M&M!!!!!!
I know I know your shocked and horrified! Well Jason did not know how to handle this nightmare. Does he call the company? Does he sue? Does he go on a vigilante spree demanding justice for his sweet tooth?

No. He wont be doing any of these things. He will be doing what any normal sane (and totally hot) man would do...He is going to auction it on Ebay with the title...Wait for it...Wait for it....

THE SATANIC ZOMBIE SINGLE M&M PACKET FROM THE PITS OF HELL!!!!!
DUN-DUN-DUN.....

Yes that is the normal and healthy thing to do and this my RO friends is were you come in! We need a description for this "evil packet" and we are counting on one of you to write us one as we are far to busy (and we both have colds and can not properly describe the packets evil while congested) ...Oh and the best part is the winner of the description contest will receive 10 percent of the auction profit and you know how these crazy auctions can go....You will most likely get nothing but.....you never know, some people are just weird (not us of course) So write your descriptions on this thread and then Friday I will post a voting thread to decide the winner.
Only two rules....
1.You must include the title of the item!
2.You must come up with a creative way to describe the plastic ziplock the packet will be in as some kind of protection against its super evil....Its a good selling point.

OK start writing, voting starts Friday! Cant wait to read.....

 

[whitelop]

"Have you ever wondered where zombies come from?
They come from a satanic zombie single M&M packet from the pits of hell! That single M&M is the seed that starts the WHOLE zombie apocalypse!
We don't feel like we can handle the responsibility of NOT opening the gates of Hell. But you must remember to keep the packet in a ziplock bag, unopened so it doesn't become the beginning of the end. Do you think you're ready to hold the worlds fate in your hands?"

(But when you read it, you have to read it in the voice of the late Don LaFontaine.)

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

Very nice

 

[Apebull]

too busy laughing to even think of anything
:laugh::roflmao::laugh::roflmao::laugh::roflmao::laugh::roflmao::laugh:

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

:nonono:
April that is not a proper entry for something as serious as this evil packet...Some people :/

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

inkbouce:

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

I was told that this was passed over cause they thought it was spam...This is the real deal people!

 

[MarisaAndToby]

THE SATANIC ZOMBIE SINGLE M&M PACKET FROM THE PITS OF HELL!!!!!
DUN-DUN-DUN.....

Here we were, minding our own business. Sifting through fun-sized packages of M&Ms complete with irresistible peanut buttery goodness hidden inside. But inside one packet, something ELSE was hidden... and it was nothing good nor was it peanut buttery.

This...... abomination... contains a single Peanut Butter M&M. ONE. Just the thought of such a thing existing - THE HORROR! What could have caused such a tragic and evil lack of quality control measures? It is obviously a message sent to us from the devil himself from the depths of hell.

(Come to think of it, it's pretty hot down there right? Shouldn't the lone monstrosity be melted beyond recognition? The fact that it remains a solid is PROOF of its evil and demonic nature.)

Right, right. Message FROM HELL. What is this message telling us? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS, YOU FOOLS? The zombies are coming. NO ONE is safe. This is the final warning of the impending doom of our society as we know it. The collapse of social structure is near!

However, we have brilliantly developed a way to contain the Satanic Zombie Single M&M Packet From the Pits of Hell. By enveloping it in this high tech message transmission blocker, we have saved the world.

Because it is such a fantastic piece of human kinds history, we are oh so generously offering it to the public INCLUDING the high tech plastic transmission blocker. It's for your's and everyone's own safety; for the love of all that is holy, do not remove the message transmission blocking layer! The fate of our world depends on your careful care of this Satanic Zombie Single M&M Packet From the Pits of Hell (One of a Kind).

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

ROFL!!!!!!!!! :laugh:
No matter who wins by the way I am going to add at the bottom "Makes a great stocking stuffer".

 

[MarisaAndToby]

Hahaha I love the addition. That will just be icing on the cake!

 

[qtipthebun]

I shall not even waste my creativity trying to come up with anything...cannot follow Marissa's entry.

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

Oh no! I would love to hear what you have to say....Your very funny too.

 

[MarisaAndToby]

Agreed! I need some more competition

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

If Marisa wins and the M&M sells for a ton of money then she will just blow her 10 percent on mooses,hockey sticks and maple syrup!!!

 

[MarisaAndToby]

It`s true, I`ve already discussed this with Katie.

 

[lauratunes12]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

I seriously wish I had something to contribute, especially because I'm addicted to peanut butter m&m's.(I once ate an entire jumbo bag in one day... I didn't even try counting those calories, because like 6 of them is already 400 calories or something like that...) But I got nothin'. :dunno

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

I think I am going to make the deadline Saturday cause I know two people who wanna submit something and have not had time.

 

[Anaira]

Are you sure it's an M&M in there? And tell Jason that sugar lowers the immune system. He ain't going to get better in a hurry eating sugar, especially (ugh) peanut butter things.

THE SATANIC ZOMBIE SINGLE M&M PACKET FROM THE PITS OF HELL!!!!!
DUN-DUN-DUN.....

Once upon a time, there was a tree that produced silver apples. These apples could make one young again, and give one eternal life and strength. This tree was known as the Tree of Youth.
I'm sure you've all read about it in Narnia, and how the apples never work the way you think they will if you steal them...

One day, Willy Wonka went further on his hunting escapades than he had ever been before. He came to the garden, and he was determined to take the fruit; he had put almost every other forbidden things in his chocolate, and a few youthful Oompa Loompa's wouldn't go amiss.
However, a rival/enemy had been following him, and in the World-between-the-Worlds, they switched his marker from the pool that leads back to Earth. Mr. Wonka found himself in the Underworld...
Here, they took the magic rings away, and the Silver Apple. Although neither the apple or the rings would work on spirits from the underworld, and they don't need the rings anyway, they do need candy. And candy, they made him make. The fruit they planted, hoping to grow a reverse Tree.
However, they did not know the properties of the new tree; they haven't exactly been able to do much experimenting down there, and most of the smart people go to heaven...but living humans always make handy guinea pigs. Using this fruit, Willie Wonka made his finest chocolate yet. A peanut butter M&M.

Don't ask me how you get peanut butter from Silver Apples, this is an ebay ad. Technicalities don't come into it. The fact it's peanut butter, proves it's evil.

Because of the nature of the tree, anyone who eats of this fruit illegally will abhor it forever more, to the point where you will not be able to enter Hades, as long as that tree stands.
However, do not think that eating this M&M will give you eternal youth and strength. Oh no, not this. Because this tree grew in Hades, it cannot give life. That's just contrary to the nature of the place. You will eventually die, in your usual time, but you will not be able to leave your body. You have to stay in it, as it rots.
However, as long as you live for your natural life span, it will make you good-looking, and strong. Think this through, people. The pros clearly outweigh the cons, by far. Willie Wonka only made four of these, so get in now!

A former employer(should be fairly obvious why he is no longer employed) was able to distribute these four m&ms in four different factories. They were packed normally, but due to the twisted nature of the m&m, it absorbs whatever good qualities from similar objects around it...so it slowly sucked all the other, normal m&ms into itself.
Now, it remains a solitary magical m&m in the unopened packet. To try protect it from absorbing the entire world, it is encased in a zip-lock bag. Because as we all know, there is nothing good whatsoever to suck from plastic zip-lock bags, even if it could get out of the packet. If you eat this, you won't absorb things quite so efficiently, but you will be able to take on qualities and virtues that your perfect big brother has, or your size 0 BFF, or even Brad Pitt, if you can get close enough to absorb his looks.

I'm bored with writing now. I don't know if this even makes logical sense, or flows properly haha.

 

[I_heart_Fraggles]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! :shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:

 

[Anaira]

I just woke up and read through it. Bahahaha, oh man, my mind was really working strangely yesterday. Hey, you wanted me to try!