What should I do .. ?

[Brandy456]

Everyone has that one particular person they really like, no matter what stupid thing they've done, or said. Right?
Well I found mine...
Just a few obstacles in the way and I want to know you guys' oppinions.

Ok so we met around 3 years ago. I actually used to be his younger sisters best friend but we had a falling out when in a comprimising situation she told me she was gay, and loved me..and a few other things (we got in a fist fight about something else)

So she had this cute older brother, and he asked me for my ful name to look me up on facebook and I gave it to him.

Just last ( 2008 ) October we dated but we broke up because I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. I was the one who broke up with him becauseI didnt think it was fair to him.

Then this march we decided to go back out and here's where all the drama comes in.

He again wanted that kind of relationship and I asked him to wait, just a few weeks because we had just started going out again and hadn't talked in a while, just wanted to get to know him again, first.

Then he admitted he cheated on me , the first time.

And said some pretty hurtfull words


So I started talking to him again a few weeks ago and he said yesterday that he 'wanted to be more in my life' and I asked what he ment and he said 'Well, if you want just friends, but i'd like for you to be my girlfriend, again'
Well I was thinking about it...
Actually went MIA because of it lol.

I really like him, and he's appologized many times, and plans to appologize to my mom for how he treated me. -tomorrow, actually-

He admitted, out loud he was immature before.

He seems totally genuine.

So.. what should I do ?
=/
Third times the charm ?

 

[missyscove]

Question before I can give you any advice, how old are you again?

 

[Brandy456]

15 and a little bit.
XD
Tehee

 

[mardigraskisses]

NO NO NO NO NO.

Once a cheater always a cheater, no exceptions. Also, he sounds like a real jerk. :grumpy:

Get him to apologize to everyone, and then tell him to beat it. You'll find someone better.

And by that kind of relationship I assume you mean sex? Trust me, you don't want to do that with someone like that.

 

[missyscove]

First, I'd like to say that I'm 19, in my 2nd year of college and I'm on my first boyfriend.
I'm also Catholic and I believe in abstinence until marriage. My bf isn't and doesn't necessarily, but because he respects me as a person, he respects my choice.

So if sex is what you mean by "that kind of relationship" I, personally, think that 15 is way too young to make that kind of a commitment to someone else. I definitely have friends who were sexually active at your age and while I realize that everyone is different, I think you owe it to yourself to wait. I think at the very least it's important to really get to know someone before you give that much of yourself to someone.

Again, you were 14 or 15 when you started dating this guy and he "cheated" on you. I don't really know what was involved in this context, but it sounds to me like he isn't worth the trouble and I'd steer clear of him.

How much older than you is he?

 

[Blaze_Amita]

mardigraskisses had it right "Once a cheater always a cheater" I had a boyfriend that I dated back in junior high(7h, 8th grade) that wanted 'all that' kind of relationship. I told him we weren't old enough but we stayed boyfriend/girlfriend. Just to find out after three years of dating that he'd been sleeping with my best friend! Needless to say I stopped talking to both. It's hardened me from men and I haven't had a 'real' boyfriend, just interested men, since then and all the interested men haven't met my qualifications yet because now I'm picky. My ex, I've asked around, cheated on her and his third girlfriend. Once a cheater always a cheater.
Don't do that to yourself, you deserve better. Don't set yourself back up for that kind of pain. While he may seem genuine, he probably isn't. And not to poke fingers are our males here, but 95% of the men that I've ever met weren't very mature.
Again, sorry guys, I'm just more anti-men than most women but I am not gay.

 

[TinysMom]

My personal opinion as a parent - is that 15 is to young for "that type" of relationship. True - I know many are "active" at that age - but honestly - you have so many other wonderful things to enjoy - save "that type" of relationship for when you're older and have found the right person. When Art & I were married - he was the first one I'd been with and I was haunted by the thoughts of other girls he might compare me too - especially since they were more experienced than him (there were only two others) and it really hurt our relationship a lot.

Also - if he's cheated on you once at this age - chances are - he'll do it again.

Be friends...yes. But not anything more unless you want your heart broken.

In addition - if you do want "that kind" of a relationship - make sure to protect yourself and get birth control and make sure to use other protection in addition - largely because of diseases you can get once you become active (especially if he's been with other girls).

Just my .02 - as a mom.

 

[Brandy456]

Thanks guys.

=)
He'll be 17 in january.

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

i would say be friends, you have already been in a relationship before, a few times, and it just hasn't worked. I dont believe the once a cheater , always a cheater, more times then not that proves to be true but it isn't always true. I too have to concur that 15 is too young to have "that kind of relationship", because "that kind of relationship" comes with so many consequences , and at 15 most boys/girls are not ready for those kind of consequences. I have to say BRAVO to you for knowing that you were not ready for that kind of relationship , twice, to him and sticking to it. Now someitmes you can truly like/love someone but them just not be the right person for you. Believe me my sister is married to a guy to whom she loves dearly, and in his own strange way loves her, they have four beautiful children but these are two people that should not be together, just because they love each other doesnt mean that they are right for each other. So with what you were saying about you and him , just because you like him doesnt mean that you too are good for each other, you have been there done that with him already maybe you too just arent meant to be together

 

[Brandy456]

Thanks alot, Fran =D

 

[NorthernAutumn]

First off, a guy looking to be sexually active with you within the first few weeks of dating has a screw loose. If you choose to have sex (oral, penetrative whatever) with him after 3 weeks of dating, he will have gotten what he wanted. You might fool around together a few times, and then he will drop you like yesterday's used underwear.

Sad, eh? That's a 17 year old guy. He's already demonstrated that he's untrustworthy and a cheat. He'll obviously apologize to get back in your good graces, then start the cycle over again.

He's a loser. Sounds a lot like the first guy I went out with when I was 15/16.
I'll be very clear about this: your first sexual experience can either be an incredibly fond memory, or a really sad, pathetic, heartbreaking one.
I've got the latter... It wouldn't have been so bad if we were good friends to start, had a great supportive relationship, then broke up after.

But my first was the exact same as this guy who's after you. I'm still disappointed, and regret it.

(Remember, unless you are ready to support a baby full time, don't bother with sex... even with a condom and the pill, you can still get pregnant. Odds are low, but it has happened.)

If this guy can be your boyfriend and stick with you for an entire year (without demanding sex in any format, zero cheating), you might consider it then. I doubt he'll even make 3 months, though.

PS: I'm 22, 5th boyfriend.

 

[mardigraskisses]

OH! And if you get into "that" kind of relationship, you need to get to the doctor, get an exam and some birth control. I would say ask him to get an exam as well, but he sounds like a skeeze bag who probably wouldn't want to put forth the effort.

Better safe than sorry, if you're gonna go down that road. I think you are old enough to make that decision for yourself.

Once again though, the guy sounds like a jerk! :grumpy:

Also, I know a lot of people say losing it is this big emotional experience; 99% of the time, it's horrible. You'll never wanna have sex again for a few months. I haven't met anyone who had an enjoyable first time.

 

[fuzz16]

once a cheater always a cheater is my biggest advice.

i am 19 and have been cheated on, abused, and played by guys. i have learned at this point that if they do something wrong the first time then they get no second chances.
you're young, if he cant wait and doesnt want to understand your reasons then you dont need him because he doesnt have enough respect for you to respect your decisions and your body and mind.

id say either just be friends or get rid of him. i have been through this choice like many other females have...its hard. but its one of those things that you know you have to do it.

 

[lloorren]

A friend of a friend was telling me about how he just got together with his girlfriend who had been dating on and off with him for years, and then that day cheated on her with another girl. If the person has done it multiple times and got away with it, they will continue, and it sounds to me like the guy wasn't caught in some kind of huge dilemma when he cheated on you, because he went for your best friend and he knew **** well that he was doing something wrong.

 

[anneq]

I vote "NO" for all the reasons the above posters gave.

Have you discussed any of this with your mom or dad?

If he cannot remain faithful to you then, what makes you think he would now?

And if you cannot be 100% sure, then why would you want to give yourself to a guy who doesn't treasure and respect you like a man should?

If you're dead-set on sexually involving yourself with this guy, then nothing anyone here says is going to make a difference

I'm with a lot of the other women here whose had to learn some very painful lessons about trust & betrayal, self-respect and the loss of that.

You've got a lot more to lose if this all goes wrong than he does.

Please, think about this long and hard.
It's not just your virginity you'd be losing.


As I tell my daughter...self-respect is something only you can give to yourself...and it's the only thing you can choose to give away - and getting that back can be a long and painful journey.

 

[Aina]

Ok, so I'm 20 and on my 0th relationship.
However, I understand how there are some people you are just really attracted to, as there is a certain guy, so totally not what I imagined... but that is a different story.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that you should wait. You are 15. Really, I'm 20 and it hasn't killed me to not be in a relationship. In fact, I've kinda liked it. I enjoy my freedom. So I'd give up my freedom in a second for this one guy, but I would never give up *that* without a strong commitment, even if I love the guy. (I'm like missycove on that one)
If he is a guy that you should be with then he will understand. If not, flush him. You deserve better. Plus what if you are dating him and miss the guy you really should be with because you are with him?

 

[JadeIcing]

I would say no.

 

[Brandy456]

mardigraskisses wrote:

OH! And if you get into "that" kind of relationship, you need to get to the doctor, get an exam and some birth control. I would say ask him to get an exam as well, but he sounds like a skeeze bag who probably wouldn't want to put forth the effort.

I've been on it since I was 11 (ladddddyyy problem.. ) haha. =D

 

[Brandy456]

lloorren wrote:

A friend of a friend was telling me about how he just got together with his girlfriend who had been dating on and off with him for years, and then that day cheated on her with another girl. If the person has done it multiple times and got away with it, they will continue, and it sounds to me like the guy wasn't caught in some kind of huge dilemma when he cheated on you, because he went for your best friend and he knew darn well that he was doing something wrong.

..it wasn't my best friend.

I think you may need to re-read my 'story' again

 

[Brandy456]

Thanks guyss
I went to see him earlier and we talked.
.. =/