Uh oh! I've fallen in love!

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Nelson_is_mine

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Exton, Pennsylvania, USA
This is going to be one of the longest posts that you have ever read and I admire you if you make it through the whole thing. I also apologise for any casualties. Feel free to skip to the last paragraph where I actually ask my questions at anytime.

So about a week ago I went into the Ma and Pa pet shop to get some litter. I go there about once a week for something or another, so this is not unusual. Before I get what I need, I always go and say hi to the critters and kittens, but most importantly the buns. And I saw him.

The store takes in unwanted litters of everything, but I'm pretty sure that they get their birds and chinchillas from breeders. Anyway, so they had the usual nethie mix babies and lionheads and i said hello to each in turn and I noticed that there were three Holland lops. I assume that they were turned in from the same home, seeing as they all came in at the same time, even though they were in different cages. There were two bucks and a doe. They were full grown, the youngest buck was probably around one, though I didn't ask. It was pretty, as was the doe, but I looked at the second buck and melted. While the other two rabbits headed for the hills when I opened up the cage door to offer a scratch, this little guy actually came toward me, put on the brakes and stuck his head to the floor, demanding upon meeting me to groom him. This poor guy is not in good condition. His fur is coarse, i could feel every bone, and his ears were all scratched and there was a lot of scar tissue built up in them, and yet there he was, as sweet as could be.

I mean, I go in there all the time. I see nice bunnies all the time. Scared bunnies, happy bunnies, snuggly bunnies, I'm there, I meet them. I hang out with them and then I leave. But I just couldn't tear myself away from this buck. My mother had to practically had to physically remove me from the store. I thought about him the rest of the day and the day after that. Everyday until I went back today to get food. There was my buck. He ran up to the cage before I even opened it, sticking his cute little nose through the bars and actually licking between the holes like a dog! And my own Nelson has only licked me once, the day I met him in the very same store in very same cage seven months ago. I knew instantly that Nelson was mine then, though I had to fight for him for two weeks with my parents. And there is this buck doing the same thing and I'm getting the same little feeling in my heart and I'm very afraid.

Nelson is yet to be neutered. He was six months old when I got him and I planned on doing it within the first two months of getting him but there just hasn't been a time what with my summer job and then school starting that I would have been able to devote to his recovery. It's going to be done within the next month and I feel very guilty that it is this late. This is problem numero uno with me falling in love with another bun. I don't have a problem with the money for the two surgeries or the time to devote to their recovery anymore, but I am worried about my carpet and walls. Nelson has never sprayed but I'm pretty sure that if I brought another male into the same space as him (my bedroom) that he would. And not to mention the other bun! That would be enough to confirm my parent's initial hesitation alone, even though it would only be temporary. My parents would say no just because of that fact. But there are probably other ways that he could react, even if the cages are on opposite sides of the room, he would def. know that there was another rabbit in his territory and be unhappy about it right? What might these be? I've always planned on getting another bun, but I wanted to fall in love with one when I had moved out (I'm sixteen) and Nelson was neutered and settled into his new home. The timing seems awfully inconvenient, but I have fallen in love.

But I have to worry about the soul mate that I already have and how he might react to this. I think he would be okay with taking a friend. he sits in front of a mirror and just stares at himself and he grooms stuffed animals and blankets, so he might not mind another bunny to sit and stare at and groom. I know that boys are the hardest to bond, but I want to give it a try, especially if it is with these two boys. And if not, that's fine, too. I have room for two separate cages and runs in my room and everything. But I don't want Nelson to get upset or anything if I am able to convince my parents to let me have this new bun. That's a huge if, though. My mom met and loved the bun, but my dad didn't even really want Nelson in the house. I looked into fostering over the summer but couldn't because all members of the household had to be willing to have him there, even if he was my foster. If he didn't want another temporary bun, then I can see I will have a tough time convincing him that a second bun is the way to go.

So, a long post short, what has been your experience with bringing second buns into the home? Tips for convincing parents would be nice, too. I just want to make sure that this is the right decision before I even approach them about it. As much as I love this guy, I'd give him up if it was better for Nelson.


 
I have 2 girls, but their bonding was pretty intense because Flopsy was older and bigger and territorial. I did all of the usual things with cleaning the cages, switching them between the two cages so their scent would intermix, spending 15 minutes at a time in my bathroom which was neutral territory to pet them next to each other and let them sniff. Nothing seemed to work. I intermingled scents in every way I could, did everything I read, etc.


Then I found the secret, at least the secret that worked for me. I was reading a bunny blog somewhere and the woman had bonded TONS of rabbits. Her trick? She used banana. Whoever seems to be the "top" rabbit, the most aggressive, etc, which for me was Flopsy, you stick some banana on his/her head. Introduce the other bunny to banana and hopefully they'll LOVE it and go crazy (most do from what I've heard). Then show the bun the banana on the "top" bun's head. They'll "groom" the bun, which is what your top bun wants. Make sure until the one bun starts grooming you keep the aggressive bun down and petted so it'll be calm when the other bun starts to groom.

When Hazel began to groom Flopsy, she calmed down immediately. I kept it up for about 10-15 mins. After that she and Hazel were on good terms. The only problem is Hazel never grooms Flopsy anymore which makes me sad, :(. Flopsy grooms Hazel, but Hazel's definitely not top bun.


I rambled a lot typing this.... sorry. But yeah, this worked WONDERS for me. It was amazing the difference. Hazel was attacked every time they were in the same room, and then after this there was grooming and cuddles.

I hope this helps if you do get the boy, I know mine are girls, but Flopsy was very territorial and neither were spayed(that's happening soon!).

As for parents... I don't know. My parents are HUGE animal people, so they fell in love with my buns when I brought them home, but I'm in college and live 4 hours away so....

I think the most important thing is that YOU'RE paying for the surgeries, and that you've proved that you are completely responsible for Nelson. Make sure your parents never have to do anything for the buns. Hey, really make sure they don't have to do anything to your room. Do your own laundry, keep your room clean, etc. If you have proved you're responsible to your parents then HOPEFULLY, they'll be more responsive.

I know what worked with me, and may work with them, but you know your parents best, some may be offended, mine weren't, but they know I've wanted to be a lawyer since 6th grade so.... I drew up a contract(not for animals, but other things I wanted, like going on trips, etc). I stated all of my responsibilities, what I would ddo EXTRA, and what would happen if I did not fulfill my end of the contract. Then I signed it and so did my parents. Might sound kind of silly, but it worked really well with my parents.

Btw, how old are you? That would help to know what to do about your parents.

Hope I helped some! I know this post is HUGE! haha :)
 
I'm sixteen. I drew up a contract so I could get Nelson, too! I do everything for Nelson and in my room already. My parents are huge dog lovers. My mom loves Nelson, even though she was harder to convince to let me have a rabbit than my dad, since my mom worked with me to get him to say yes, and she does admire the petstore boy and "hopes he gets a nice home". And even though they wouldn't have to do anything with the other bunny, it's more of the fact that it's there to my dad. He thinks Nelson is cute and everything, but he thinks its gross to have the litter in my room. It just heebs him out. When we had cats their litter was in the basement and we didn't have to see it all the time. I don't think it's gross, though, so whatever. I think he's scared of Nelson, too, like if he ever comes up to my dad he runs away, saying "He's gonna bite me!" It's kinda funny. We have three dogs and he wouldn't hesitate to get another three more but he can't let me have an itty bitty bunny.

Thanks for the advice about the banana, too. I hope that I get the oppurtunity to use it.
 
Well, I think you're probably correct that introducing another rabbit could most likely initiate spraying. When I had Raph, he was unneutered but didn't spray. However, when I adopted Scooby (totally unplanned...I had simply fallen for him when I saw him) Raph began to spray not too long afterward...as did Scooby. However, neutering should most likely take care of that issue; not long after I got Yofi he did begin spraying, but once he was neutered it stopped. So you might want to consider neutering as soon as possible, and then introducing the two to one another after both are recovered.

When I adopted Yofi, Anna had been on her own as a bunny in the house for a few months. She had become quite possessive of 'her space', and her nose went completely out of joint when she realized another rabbit had moved in. I waited until after Yofi was neutered to introduce them to one another, and was quite surprised that their bonding didn't take long....I'd expected a few months of territorial issues, etc. I began by letting Anna run around in a more neutral territory - the backyard rather than the rabbit room in the house - and I would take Yofi out on a leash. That way I had control of at least one of them. Anna approached him a couple of times and, after hesitant sniffing, bit him on the rear, so I did have to be careful with her. After having them out in the yard a few times - with them not really having close contact, but allowing Anna to get used to Yofi's presence - I began to attempt bonding in the house. At first Anna was quite upset, and not just with Yofi...she refused to acknowledge me too. But I kept on giving them time every day, usually 15-20 minutes or so at first, where they were both loose in the room. I had a broom with me, and if Anna showed signs of charging at Yofi, I'd put the broom between them and push her away. Didn't take her long to realize that charging aggressively was frowned upon...and within a few days she began accepting him. Once she did, they bonded very quickly and have been best friends ever since.

I wish you all the best with both convincing your parents to get a second bunny, and with bonding the pair if you do. Afraid I don't have much to offer in the way of convincing your parents, other than saying that Nelson might be happier with a friend (even though Anna got along alright alone and I thought she was happy being an only rabbit, I found that she became much more 'alive' once Yofi came along and they bonded...she seems much happier). Hoping it all works out for you! :)
 
Have you let him see a pellet poop? I mean, when I showed them to my parents they were like"Ohhh..." Do you make sure it never smells in your room too? I know sometimes my buns can kick stuff around in their litter box and bring up the smelly stuff. Tried letting him pet him or hold him? Explained he has a distinct personality like a dog? Put him on a harness and leash in front of your dad so he can see it in a dog like situation? Have you thought about a closed litter box? You can get them for like $7 at Walmart. That might help with the litter box being in the room.

What kind of dogs? And how do they do with the rabbit? We, ie my parents, have goldendoodles(full-size, and they're ADORABLE!!!) and they're scared of my buns after an incident with Nelly sticking her nose in Flopsy's cage and getting lunged at and then thumped at, lmao. If they get along you can tell your dad and tell him dogs are a good judge of animals, hahaha :)

I'm sure you've probably tried all of these things, but I figured mentioning them again might help, and maybe one of them will be something you haven't tried.

Do you think a new contract would help? I mean you could draw one up and then bring up points on why a new bun would be GOOD! You could print things about rabbit bonding and how important it is to buns, and how clean they keep each other, etc. Make it into a presentation and just try to get them to agree.

Good luck!!! :) And when you decide, PM me or something and let me know, I want to know what you tried and if it worked!! :)
 
I wish you all the best with this. I know that feeling you describe. I always go to animal rescue centre's and to the pet shop to get pellets etc. I had that feeling when I saw Jess even though I went in there everyday and looked at the rabbits but I was instantly drawn to her. I had it again a year later after having Jess at our Local RSPCA Centre and even though all the other rabbits were gorgeous I just knew I had to have him, I am currently waiting for a call to let me know when I can go and pick him up :D.

It will probably take a lot of time to get them bonded but you have had some positive feedback from Hazel and Bassetlove which should help to make you feel more positive and you have a neat trick with banana you could try as well.

As for convincing the parents, although I was working with a boyfriend who was very set on not having another rabbit I think the same applies hehe. I simply looked on here and picked lots of pictures of everyones rabbits who were bonded and looking cute all snuggled together (thanks everyone!) copied them to a word document. Next I looked on the internet I googled why having two rabbits is better. Found bits I liked and again copied them into the word document and showed it to Phil. Well thats what worked for me anyway hehe. Also you have already shown how responsible you are with looking after Nelson so try to get that across as well.

I've put the informationI gave Phil at the bottom of my message just incase it helps its fairly long I'm afraid but I had to get my point across to him:biggrin2:I highlighted the bits I liked that I wanted Phil to pay attention too and not just skim over.

Good luck, let us know what happens xx



Making the introduction – Rabbits can be possessive about living space, bedding, food bowls etc. so it is essential that they be introduced on neutral territory. This could be a spare room, bathroom, garage or even another house. It must be somewhere that is completely new to both rabbits. Do not leave any food or dishes or anything else that they might fight over. They must be supervised closely until satisfactory bonding has taken place (when they perform mutual grooming).

If all else fails – Do not despair! Try placing the rabbits in the back of a car and drive around for a while. The strange surroundings may make them feel more comfortable and secure as a ‘pair’

They should have permanent company. Many rabbit owners think that guinea pigs make a good companion.This is not a good idea.This relationship can work but if the rabbit (and guinea pig) are not getting enough exercise the rabbit may become bored and terrorise the smaller animal. I firmly believe that rabbits should be kept in pairs at least. If rabbits are introduced properly and patiently to each other then the result is a "bonded" pair. It is very satisfying to see two bunnies in such a relationship, and in my mind much more interesting. It is amazing to see rabbits interact with each other; the dominance and submissiveness, the protection and defending of each other if something unknown is approaching. Even the way they communicate and generally interact with each other provides me with hours of entertainment! Each rabbit has it's own personality and when rabbits are in groups these personalities come out so much more

Love Match:
A Guide to Bonding Your Rabbits

[align=center]by Suzanne Smith [/align]
Nothing is cuter than watching two rabbits lie side by side kissing each other. They are clearly very happy and enjoy each other's company. Rabbits are social animals that benefit from living in pairs or groups. During their courtship, the rabbits learn to trust each other and eventually fall in love.


[align=center]





Will my Rabbit Change?
Many people wonder if their rabbit will change once they have a playmate. The answer of course, is yes your rabbit will be happier.

If you have a rabbit who is friendly with you, they will remain friendly. They do love human attention. If your rabbit is shy, and the new rabbit craves human attention, you may easily find that your bun will mimic the new rabbit and find some strength from his example. They may find themselves with their new mate begging for attention without realizing it. If they see it isn't scary for the other bunny then maybe it isn't so bad.

I do want to stress, that I have never seen a friendly rabbit lose interest in human companionship. Once a bunny likes you, they always will. Many people state that rabbits are less likely to get into trouble once they have a mate. They aren't as bored and are more content. I can tell you that your rabbit will be happier, may be friendlier and get into less trouble.

I would start by letting your rabbits spend 15-30 minutes together on their first date, depending on how it is going. If it is going well, then I would go the thirty minutes. During a normal work day, I would have them date only once. However on the weekends, feel free to try 2-3 dates, 6-8 hours a part. If the dates are going well, then gradually increase the time that they are spending together.


Signs of Progress
When rabbits meet, they start the bonding at different stages. Some may hate each other at first. Some may be indifferent. Occasionally you will have them snuggle and groom. We need to interpret their behavior, figure out what is working, and push them down the path towards love.



An important aspect of bonding is knowing what stage your rabbits are in. If your rabbits have shown interest in fighting and now appear indifferent, you have made progress. If they have been indifferent and now seem curious about each other, again you have progress.
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Making the introduction – Rabbits can be possessive about living space, bedding, food bowls etc. so it is essential that they be introduced on neutral territory. This could be a spare room, bathroom, garage or even another house. It must be somewhere that is completely new to both rabbits. Do not leave any food or dishes or anything else that they might fight over. They must be supervised closely until satisfactory bonding has taken place (when they perform mutual grooming).

If all else fails – Do not despair! Try placing the rabbits in the back of a car and drive around for a while. The strange surroundings may make them feel more comfortable and secure as a ‘pair’

Making the introduction – Rabbits can be possessive about living space, bedding, food bowls etc. so it is essential that they be introduced on neutral territory. This could be a spare room, bathroom, garage or even another house. It must be somewhere that is completely new to both rabbits. Do not leave any food or dishes or anything else that they might fight over. They must be supervised closely until satisfactory bonding has taken place (when they perform mutual grooming).

If all else fails – Do not despair! Try placing the rabbits in the back of a car and drive around for a while. The strange surroundings may make them feel more comfortable and secure as a ‘pair’


While the rabbits may at time appear indifferent to us, the truth is they are sizing each other up to determine if they can trust each other. This is seen by observing the rabbits. They may lay about 2-3 feet from each other. If they weren't interested at all, they wouldn't do this. They are being coy- curious but not quite trusting enough. We've all seen humans play hard to get. Guess what- rabbits do too! With time you will notice the space between them decrease and eventually they will be sleeping next to each other. After several succesful days playing together, you may be able to place them into a cage together.







 

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