Tough decision for me I feel terrible

[Fancy355]

I have always been a strong believer in not prolonging an animals life for my own benefit. About 15 years ago, I went through a terrible divorce. When all was said and done, I got my own place and for the 1st time in my life I was living alone. I suffered from a serious depression until Smokey came into my life. She was a 5 week old russian blue cat who was being hand raised by the staff at the shelter. I instantly fell in love with her and took her home. From that moment on, she was always by my side. Through out her life she suffered from several minor health issues. UTI's were at least a yearly thing. She was so good that when she got a UTI she would urinate in the bathtub in order for me to see the blood, otherwise I would never know she was sick. She lost a great deal of her fur due to an allergic reaction to my laundry detergent, go figure! But all in all she was as loving as a cat could be. When I remarried and had children, she tolerated everyone.About 4 years ago, she took to living in the upstairs half of our home. She was always content laying around in her own area, quiet. About 4 months ago we aquired Miss Lily our holland lop, and Smokey really loved her. She would come down and lay by her cage as if to say "this is my home, but you are welcome here." I was so happy to see this behavior because she had become so distant. Well, about a month ago, Smokey started vomiting her hard food more often than usual. (she tended to eat too fast and then vomit) I took her to the vet and he put her on a special diet for 'elderly' cats. Although she loved the soft food, she continued to vomit . She started with the diareah, and at this point I knew it was not going to be good. She lost so much weight so quickly. Well, yesturday morning I had to make the hardest decision any pet owner has to make. I so devistated that my dear Smokey is gone. She was there when i needed her the most, and I just feel so empty without her. I went to bed in tears, knowing that she will no longer lay beside me at night. I miss her dearly, but know she is not suffering. Why does doing whats right, always hurt so much?

 

[seniorcats]

I am sorry you lost your kitty friend. It's a hard decision that never gets easier. I believe they let us know when it's time to say good bye. It sounds like your kitty had a long and happy life.

 

[undergunfire]

I am so sorry about Smokey. It is always a thousand times worse when we have to make the decision for our babies to cross over, but sometimes...it is for the best because they never want to leave you on their own and definitely put up a struggle to stay with you.

I hope your heart heals soon. Smokey will still be sleeping by your side, but not in body form. I hope you find comfort in knowing that.

:hug:

 

[BlueGiants]

I am so sorry for your loss. They definately leave a hole in your heart when they are gone. No one will ever take the place of Smokey... but you did the right thing for her... and know that she was content with you. She was there for you, and you were there for her...

 

[drunkenbunnyhugger]

I am very sorry for your loss. I hope in time your good memories of her will help with your heavy heart. Smokey was there for you during your hard times, and take comfort in the fact you were there during hers. :angel:

 

[cheryl]

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Smokey....making that decision is one of the mosthardest things to do.

Thinking of you

~Cheryl

 

[Maureen Las]

I am so very sorry about Smokey
I had a dog named Bonne (heart dog) who lived with me when I was by myself and before I got married. She was my best friend . Even now I know that the circumstances and this particular dog (extremely intelligent) came together to form a relationship between us that could never be repeated.
She was truly the "love of my life" dog.

She, too, like Smokey, merged with another family of animals when I got married and she accepted all the pets together and Jim too.

It sounds like Smokey had kidney failure and that is what Bonne also had. She lived with me 13 of her14 yrs and I probably waited to let her leave a little too long but I learned by it. That's one reason why I let Gabriel go quicker than I might have otherwise.
I'm really sorry that Smokey is gone but the memories will always remain and the love will never be replaced.

My dog ,Angie, is my present dog but she will never replace Bonne. I really love her but she is totally different.
Smokey and you were lucky to have found each other at a time when you both needed each other. ink iris:

 

[Bunnicula]

Sorry for your loss. It always hurts no matter how short or long the animal's life was...no matter what the circumstances of his/her passing. Just remember that there are many, many people like you out there who have gone through this situation. In time, your strongest memories will be of the happy times you shared with Smokey and not of her passing.

We are all here for you.

~Mary Ellen

 

[Fancy355]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I know I made the right decision in letting her pass on peacefully. I too believe it was kidney failure, which the vet told me was very common in cats her age. Unfortunatly (because of the dogs) I was un-able to bury her her at my home. I planteda rose bush in the memory garden I have for my grandparents. At least I will have something beautiful to look at and remember how beautiful she was. Wishing her the endless ball of yarn to play with.:rainbow:

 

[Janieellen]

I am so sad for you. It is remarkable how painful it can be. Yet, it is so beautiful to have the relationship that we keep doing it over and over again. Bless her heart to have been your companion and support through happy and sad times. I'm sorry you are having the pain. Thank you for sharing your story, it is such a sweet story.

Jane

 

[furryface]

Four Feet in Heaven
Your favorite chair is vacant now...
No eager purrs to greet me.
No softly padded paws to run
Ecstatically to meet me.

No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry
Will say it's time for feeding.
I've put away your bowl, and all
The things you won't be needing;

But I will miss you little friend,
For I could never measure
The happiness you brought me,
The comfort and the pleasure.

And since God put you here to share
In earthly joy and sorrow;
I'm sure there'll be a place for you
In Heaven's bright tomorrow...

- Alice E. Chase

 

[furryface]

<<hugs>> there's no worse feeling in the world than having to make that decision...
I'm so sorry for your loss....