... that I woke up to a world without Sage.
My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today.
Sage passed away in my arms at the vet yesterday.
She became partially paralyzed a couple weeks ago due to arthritis in her spine. She'd lost significant muscle mass in the last year and slowed down a lot, but was always in good spirits and enjoyed her peaceful life in a quiet office room to herself. When I found her stuck in her "bed box" (she made sure one litterbox was for using, the other was for sleeping) and hardly able to move her hind legs, I knew it was the beginning of the end. The vet put her on medication to manage her pain and I kept a close eye on her. She would have moments of feeling okay and was eating and drinking well. However, her frustration and confusion with her legs not working right was palpable. Her front legs then began to become affected. She was "drowning" the toys she could reach in her water dish, something she has always done when she became frustrated, and found it too difficult to move away from her own messes or groom herself.
She wanted things to be working differently, she wanted to be able to move around but couldn't.
I made the difficult decision to end her suffering, as quality of life was no longer present and Sage was far too noble to live in such a state.
The house feels so empty without her here. For the first time in 10 years, I do not have a rabbit.
Sage was my dream rabbit. I could hardly believe I'd found a Belgian Hare within driving distance, much less a blue one, when she found me all those years ago.
I am sharing here, because I feel very few people understand what I am going through right now. It's a funny thing... to have such a small animal leave such a massive hole in ones heart. People get so caught up in having cool pets that do things for them... dogs, horses, talking birds... but there is an immensely understated honor in having a quiet companion that is simply there with you as you traverse, stumble, fall, get back up, and continue through the journey of life. Sage was with me through the biggest decade of growth in my life thus far. Sage was with me during painful breakups, several moves, bordering homelessness, betrayals, losing my home and all my possessions in a wildfire, a life altering rollover accident, career changes, the death of a friend, and major personal growth and all that comes with it. Not to mention the incredible things that she herself survived despite my best attempts at protecting her from anything bad.
Sage did not jump in my lap and snuggle me on the nights I felt most alone, she did not wag her tail and drop her toy in front of me to play our way out of the hard times, and she did not deviate from her daily routines for the sake of making me happy. But what Sage did do? She was there. She was there, every single day. Like the prettiest, shiniest gray rock you've ever seen, she was there. She was small, but her heart was a boulder. Sage showed me how to gracefully endure through example. No matter what happened to her or what happened to me, she kept on keeping on. She showed me that you can endure and still go about your business of waking up, grooming yourself, eating, drinking, playing when you can, and absorbing the beautiful light of day every time it shines through your window. Sage always accepted what was without complaint, until the last weeks of her life. The simplest, cheapest little things- some dried cranberries, a sprig of parsley from dinner at a diner, a cardboard box, the broken twig of an apple branch, or a soft carpet to lay on could bring the greatest sense of peace, and if you allow it, joy.
Sage was not the affectionate, needy type. She was dignified and confident within herself. She was not one to lick my tears away, until yesterday. And I will not forget the outpouring of love and appreciation we felt for one another as I held her in my arms and she slipped away. I am heartbroken.
Sage, you were more amazing than I could've ever hoped for. You were the toughest, most beautiful rabbit I have ever met. Thank you, my friend, for the absolute privilege of being your human throughout your life.
I love you then, now, and forever.
I have many photos of Sage over the years, but I hope you enjoy these few collages I put together.
Sage in her youth:
Sage in her prime:
Sage in her senior years:
My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today.
Sage passed away in my arms at the vet yesterday.
She became partially paralyzed a couple weeks ago due to arthritis in her spine. She'd lost significant muscle mass in the last year and slowed down a lot, but was always in good spirits and enjoyed her peaceful life in a quiet office room to herself. When I found her stuck in her "bed box" (she made sure one litterbox was for using, the other was for sleeping) and hardly able to move her hind legs, I knew it was the beginning of the end. The vet put her on medication to manage her pain and I kept a close eye on her. She would have moments of feeling okay and was eating and drinking well. However, her frustration and confusion with her legs not working right was palpable. Her front legs then began to become affected. She was "drowning" the toys she could reach in her water dish, something she has always done when she became frustrated, and found it too difficult to move away from her own messes or groom herself.
She wanted things to be working differently, she wanted to be able to move around but couldn't.
I made the difficult decision to end her suffering, as quality of life was no longer present and Sage was far too noble to live in such a state.
The house feels so empty without her here. For the first time in 10 years, I do not have a rabbit.
Sage was my dream rabbit. I could hardly believe I'd found a Belgian Hare within driving distance, much less a blue one, when she found me all those years ago.
I am sharing here, because I feel very few people understand what I am going through right now. It's a funny thing... to have such a small animal leave such a massive hole in ones heart. People get so caught up in having cool pets that do things for them... dogs, horses, talking birds... but there is an immensely understated honor in having a quiet companion that is simply there with you as you traverse, stumble, fall, get back up, and continue through the journey of life. Sage was with me through the biggest decade of growth in my life thus far. Sage was with me during painful breakups, several moves, bordering homelessness, betrayals, losing my home and all my possessions in a wildfire, a life altering rollover accident, career changes, the death of a friend, and major personal growth and all that comes with it. Not to mention the incredible things that she herself survived despite my best attempts at protecting her from anything bad.
Sage did not jump in my lap and snuggle me on the nights I felt most alone, she did not wag her tail and drop her toy in front of me to play our way out of the hard times, and she did not deviate from her daily routines for the sake of making me happy. But what Sage did do? She was there. She was there, every single day. Like the prettiest, shiniest gray rock you've ever seen, she was there. She was small, but her heart was a boulder. Sage showed me how to gracefully endure through example. No matter what happened to her or what happened to me, she kept on keeping on. She showed me that you can endure and still go about your business of waking up, grooming yourself, eating, drinking, playing when you can, and absorbing the beautiful light of day every time it shines through your window. Sage always accepted what was without complaint, until the last weeks of her life. The simplest, cheapest little things- some dried cranberries, a sprig of parsley from dinner at a diner, a cardboard box, the broken twig of an apple branch, or a soft carpet to lay on could bring the greatest sense of peace, and if you allow it, joy.
Sage was not the affectionate, needy type. She was dignified and confident within herself. She was not one to lick my tears away, until yesterday. And I will not forget the outpouring of love and appreciation we felt for one another as I held her in my arms and she slipped away. I am heartbroken.
Sage, you were more amazing than I could've ever hoped for. You were the toughest, most beautiful rabbit I have ever met. Thank you, my friend, for the absolute privilege of being your human throughout your life.
I love you then, now, and forever.
I have many photos of Sage over the years, but I hope you enjoy these few collages I put together.
Sage in her youth:
Sage in her prime:
Sage in her senior years:
What a wonderful tribute. You so eloquently put into words what so many of us feel but can't fully express about these steady, beloved companions. Thank you so much for sharing Sage with us! Sending hugs.
