Struggling with the death of our bun Feel like it's my fault :(

[bunbunsbinkies]

I bought a Netherland Dwarf for my daughter years ago- almost 5. Never did I expect how much we all would love him. He was primarily her pet, we drove 3 hours on a snowy day while she was at school to get him for Christmas. We met the breeder in a lot down the street from her home and I picked him out. He became a part of our family. I changed him, he was an indoor bunny in her room. He had free roam of our house most of the time. He had a personality like no other, he'd ring his bell to be let out or for food. He was just an amazing bunny we even had funny songs for him.

He peed on the floor last week a tainted orange-red. I looked it up and it said rabbits pee the colors of the rainbow. He seemed fine, was acting fine. Jumping, eating. Until Tuesday night, I went into her room to shut her tv off and he wasn't in his usual little box. I knew something was wrong. I took the lid off her cage and I could see in his eyes, he was sick. My heart sank. My husband works nights so I texted him and told him "Buns seemed ill" he wrote back "Aww" and I went back upstairs. He jumped out of his cage, went under her bed and you could see, he was ill. It was in his eyes.

My daughter and I put him into a carrier and drove at 1am to an emergency vet. 3 hours later, 2 xrays, the poor thing had 6 or 7 bladder stones. They were huge. He had no food in his stomach. The doc said to get him started on an IV, to keep him there and to schedule surgery once he was feeling better. She warned us of the risks. The costs. We just wanted buns to be ok. I got home, don't even know how I went to bed. I think maybe an hour passed my cell rang and was told he died.

I can't stop crying. I feel insanely guilty that his diet was mainly pellets, some hay and apples sometimes. The vet made it sound like he should have been on almost all hay. That it could have caused his stones. The thought I could have caused this poor animal pain is killing me. Seeing him wobble when they stood him up. OMG. I feel sooo bad. I don't know how to resolve feeling so lousy, maybe this is my punishment. I also saw today on his med paper they never started an IV just gave him oxygen which makes me feel horrible he died in pain-- I wish they could have eased his pain or he could have died at home and not in some cage at a weird place. I'm just so heartbroken. I was hoping to pay for the outrageous surgery and get him home.

 

[whiskylollipop]

His diet should ideally have been 70% hay, but bladder stones are not caused by lack of hay. My own bunny is having some issues with bladder sludge so I was reading up on these kinds of problems. It's a very poorly-understood subject, scientists don't know exactly what causes bladder sludge and stones, and think some bunnies may just be predisposed to getting it. High-calcium foods are thought to be a trigger. Another possibility is dehydration, which can be common in bunnies whose only source of water is from the bottle; some buns have a tough time working the mechanism. BUT they have done tests trying to find what definitely causes bladder sludge/stones, like giving buns extremely high-calcium food and chronically dehydrating them (horrible I know), and have not been successful in causing these symptoms in bunnies. So nobody knows how it happens, or how to prevent it.

Please don't blame yourself, it was a problem no one could have seen coming. He had 5 years of love and happiness with you, don't let a little pain at the end marr the memory of his great life with your family.

 

[fannymanson]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little friend. I know you are heartbroken about the circumstances surrounding his passing. Try not to feel guilty about this though. You did the right thing by taking him to the vet and seeking the proper care for him. None of us can stop death when our time comes, we have to let go. Same with poor sweet Buns. Let yourself be sad in his honor. He was a smart and fun bun to have around and you will miss him and that is totally normal and ok. You can do something special to commemorate his life and observe his passing. Have a nice service with the family.

If you are having him cremated, I can refer you to a wonderful pet portrait artist who makes urns for pets. I have 2 of them and they are lovely. http://www.ebay.com/usr/camille4

Love and hugs to you and your family.

 

[ladysown]

stones of any sort don't TEND to be diet related.

Rabbits do fine a diet of pellets, hay and fresh foods.

There was probably a genetic component involved.

Don't blame yourself, you did good by him.

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

You all are helping me a lot, thanks. I sit here in tears but feel comforted. I've been spinning my wheels since this happened, replaying all that went on and what I could have done better....

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

The vet made it sound like it was a diet related issue. I just can't get over that he was in pain and probably a lot of it. Even as he wobbled and struggled, the poor guy never bit anyone. I don't think he ever bit anyone once in his whole life. I will start to feel a little better then it gets worse. When we brought him home, I opened his little burial bag and asked him to forgive me. I hope this gets easier. I feel so sick to my stomach....

 

[hopalot]

I know exactly what you are putting yourself thru. You believe you should know more than you did, and you fault the vets for not doing better. I've been thru this 5 times over the past 25+ years. It never gets easier, you never know enough or do the right thing when you think you should.

The truth is that 1) Dwarfs don't generally live that long, being genetically inferior. All my buns but one lived into their 10+ years. The only one with the short life (3.5) was a dwarf. I spent over a grand on this guy and the "rabbit savy vets" couldn't figure out that he had enteritis, which I figured out when it was too late. I could not mention his name or speak about him after he passed for a year. Imagine the guilt, which to this day, over 14 years later I still feel.

And all my guys got pellets, fruit, they also got bread and crackers. They ate hay, and as their bodies aged, things went wrong and finding good doctors and answers never got easier. There was always something I could've done more. I can tell you the regrets I carry. But I gave them a good life.

The bottom line is this: rabbits are not meant to live long lives. Their bodies decline after only 6 years. Treatments buy time, hardly ever cure. Rabbits are prey animals. They have a nervous disposition and do not let on to pain or illness. When it's nearly too late they finally let on. Honestly, some of my guilt is anger toward this fact. The rabbit wants to outsmart us to the end, and for them, death is an escape. They will prefer it to our help! I've experienced this with some of my more stubborn guys.
:headflick:

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

awww, hopalot, I'm sorry.

It is just so hard. What you are saying is what I am going through. I felt later like "why did I go to that place?" and maybe if I brought him somewhere else he would have lived. She said "even if he get's the stones removed, they can keep coming back" which is true, but she seemed more like they didn't care. The girl at the front desk had no bedside manner and neither did the doctor. I stood in front of her crying as a grown woman- there was no compassion. I just felt like they let him die too. Like it was easier and not to even start the IV. And believe me, I carry more guilt then they do- I still think it's all my fault.

I don't think I can go through this again, as much as I want to open our hearts to another bun. It's just so tough.

 

[Bucktooth]

It isn't your fault that he got sick, he had a great life with you. You took him to the vets so that they could try to treat him, and that's all you could do. It's really hard to put a bunny on iv especially a sick dehydrated one, or one that could die of stress when you poke it, that's probably why they gave him oxygen to try to stabilize him a bit. I'm so sorry that he passed away. I'm so sad for you My bunny Bucktooth died on Sunday and he also had a rusty orange pee a couple days before that! I also googled it too and thought it was normal and a vet even checked him over after that and didn't find anything wrong with him. They are so good at hiding things.

 

[JBun]

It's believed that bladder sludge/stones is genetic, like ladysown mentioned. Most rabbits do just fine on the average diet. But for rabbits that are genetically prone to calcium accumulation in the urinary tract, diet can sometimes make a difference but not always. Hay by itself isn't going to make a difference, but it more has to do with the overall calcium content of everything in a rabbits diet, pellets, hay, and veg together. But in order to make the diet alterations needed, you would need to be aware there is an issue, and with rabbits that can be extremely difficult with how well they hide illness. I have a few rabbits that seem to be prone to bladder sludge. I've altered there diets to a lower calcium one, but even then there is still a lot of calcium sediment in their urine despite the low calcium diet. So even had you known ahead of time to change his diet, this still could have happened because they are genetically prone to having the problem.

Rabbits just naturally have a fragile nature, and it can be very difficult to spot problems even when you have a lot of knowledge about their health issues. Many of us have gone through much of the same thing. You try and do your best to help your bun, but you are bound to make mistakes. I know I've made many, but I try and learn so that I can do better for my other rabbits, and even then, I know I'll still make more mistakes. I think regret almost seems to go with being a pet rabbit owner. You always wish you had done something different. But you just remind yourself that you did your best at the time and that you loved your bun.

I'm sorry you lost your sweet bun. It sounds like he had a happy wonderful life with you, and I think that is the most important thing.

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

awww, bucktooth, I am so sorry too. I feel your pain. I haven't felt this crappy since my mom died a few years back. That same hopeless pit in your stomach. I go to bed and wake up and hope it's a bad dream. The only relief I am getting is sleeping. I will say a prayer for you and your bunny tonight.

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little friend. I know you are heartbroken about the circumstances surrounding his passing. Try not to feel guilty about this though. You did the right thing by taking him to the vet and seeking the proper care for him. None of us can stop death when our time comes, we have to let go. Same with poor sweet Buns. Let yourself be sad in his honor. He was a smart and fun bun to have around and you will miss him and that is totally normal and ok. You can do something special to commemorate his life and observe his passing. Have a nice service with the family.

If you are having him cremated, I can refer you to a wonderful pet portrait artist who makes urns for pets. I have 2 of them and they are lovely. http://www.ebay.com/usr/camille4

Love and hugs to you and your family.

Thank you so much.

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

To put a face to my sweet boy... thank you all tonight for helping me. Words can't express how grateful I am.

 

[grfan]

So sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.

 

[hopalot]

:headflick:Let me confirm that---the exotics vets all too often don't really have time for me and don't care. In fact, just over the past few weeks I had to change to another vet, and I have to drive further out, away from a hospital calling itself "Care". I've also been thru that same desperate crying in front of a cold-hearted doctor with a false front when she told me to put a past bunny down. And she looked irritated at me for shedding tears. Very few docs want to go the mile with you, yet they are supposed to, we pay them to, and I hold them accountable to it. I let them know when they disappoint me, or have greatly helped me, and then I move on when it's time.

These docs just don't know as much as they could, and the real experts are a handful across this great land of ours. Thankfully they publish their knowledge on the internet. I therefore educate myself and do the best I can.

One last thing---don't read too much into your guy's last hours. He was in critical shape already when you brought him in. There's just no perfect place anywhere where you could have brought him in time. Rabbits have an instinctive knowledge when it's time to go, and they don't have a problem with it. We do. For a prey animal in pain, it's a preferable place to be, rather than fear of the unknown--i.e., someone's going to eat me!

 

[Morning_Snow]

I am very sorry for the bun's loss. As someone who is going into the Vet tech training, I've read alot that nurses and doctors just have to desensitize themselves. They can't save each and every one, and they know that when rabbits are showing illness it is a little late just like you said. It may seem like they are coldhearted in your sad state(they could of actually been, idk), but they just can't get themselves emotionally involved with every death. I still do get emotional and don't understand how vets can do that, but from what i've researched that's what they have to do. They see so many animals each day, it must be horrible knowing you can't save an animal as a medical professional who have dedicated their lives to that animal. I am sorry about your loss, he was very adorable and I bet he lived a happy life with you guys

 

[bunbunsbinkies]

And I get why- I am sure they see a ton of sick animals. However, just like bringing a human to a hospital, I expect some sort of compassion. Maybe it's me. I'm not blaming them, it was just hard. I'm more angry at myself.

 

[JBun]

No, it's not just you. When my bun died, the vet didn't cry or anything, but she was understanding and gave me some time to sit with my bun as I bawled my eyes out. It's not too much to expect at least a little understanding.

 

[Bucktooth]

I think if you "desensitize" yourself then it's time to move on to a different profession. The day I don't cry for someone when they are crying because they are losing their beloved pet, is the day I quit.

Your little brown bunny was adorable! <3