HI, this is a completely non-rabbit related post, but a human one. Jenk, I feel if your anxiety is addressed it will absolutely change your life.
This is a post I have decided to post PUBLICLY rather than PRIVATELY because I believe if it can help more people, that is great.
A little background info: I have ADD (attention deficit disorder) which is a neurological condition. It is neither bad nor good, but has caused me to have anxiety issues as well. Many of our forum members here have anxiety or depression, which is not surprising considering almost three quarters of people in America/Canada alone have these conditions. They are widespread.
The first thing to realize with anxiety, is that while people that suffer from it do not enjoy the effects of it (worrying, nausea, pain that comes with anxiety) they often ENJOY ruminating.
"Have you ever been stressed all day because you canât stop thinking of something unfair that happened that morning? Or the previous week? This human tendency to obsess, trying to work things out in one's mind, is common. When these thoughts turn more negative and brooding, that's known as rumination."
http://stress.about.com/od/psychologicalconditions/a/rumination.htm
Please read the above article, it is short - so take the time.
One thing I had to personally deal with was first the rumination, then I had to address the idea of detachment. When people say
"Jonny was detached yesterday" for example, they often mean it in a negative way. HOWEVER when we become over involved or obsessed with something, it is of absolute importance to learn to detach. This is what you need to do right now for your rabbits. I am not saying neglect them, avoid vet appointments etc, just detach.
What is detachment?
Detachment is the:
⢠Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.
⢠Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person (or creature) from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational.
⢠Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.
⢠Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone (or something) whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life.
⢠Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence.
⢠Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person (or creature) falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering.
⢠Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling.
⢠Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life.
⢠Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
⢠Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them.
⢠Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.''
⢠Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?
If you are unable to detach from people, places, or things, then you:
⢠Will have people, places, or things which become over-dependent on you.
⢠Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do.
⢠Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
⢠Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places, or things.
⢠Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things whom you have given the power to control you.
⢠Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual.
⢠Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places, or things project.
⢠Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy.
⢠Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result.
⢠Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place, or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship.
⢠Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen.
⢠Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.
From: http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm
Again, please please read the above link. It will take some time but could change your life, it tells you how to develop detachment in 12 steps. Print it out, and read it everday until you understand/or are willing.
I spent years of time and money identifying the above and discovering the information those two links provide. Please don't disregard it- it really will change your life if you are ready to let that happen.
I believe and always have believed that the first part of being a good pet owner is taking care of yourself. If one of my pets is feeling ill and so am I, I will take care of myself first. They have to wait. If I need to work but their litterboxes need to be changed etc, that can wait. I will do my work. It is of utmost importance to take care of yourself- the animals perceive you are the Alpha and if the aplha is falling apart or is feeling stress/fear, it REALLY unnerves them and will send them into a spiral of fear, doubt and insecurity. If their alpha is falling apart, who will lead the pack? For some people this is purpose alone to re-evaluate their lives. When I am taking care of my business, my animals take care of theirs. If I approach them with low stress levels, they will give me affection. But if I raise my voice on the phone or cry, they will start to stomp or hide, and if I am dwelling on something and not taking care of my own business, they will shut down.
I hope this helps somewhat. I am sad at seeing you go through this Jenk, every post you make touches on these concerns and it is obviously tormenting you. I am not saying that Emma does not have a condition. But I am giving you some information that could help in dealing with it and coping. angeluv/Maureen is absolutely right - many people have disabled/ill pets but they will cope. My own Sass has an undiagnosed condition that jumps up anytime, I never know when or how often, how severe. But he has 10 great days to every one awful day, and I enjoy those good days with him. When he has an awful day, I believe in myself and him, I do what I can for him knowing it is the best thing and continue with my business. It is sad and hard, but life goes on and he will too. We do what is in our control and give up the rest.
I sincerely hope this helps you, or anyone else that reads this.
