questions about weddings...

[farmerchick]

i am getting married in 2012 and we are currently starting to plan and i have a few questions to ask, i'm just looking for opinions, even if you haven't gotten married


we are having a country vintage style wedding at a bed and breakfast with about 120 people, it will be traditional for the most part, after the ceremony the reception is at a golf course (which closes at 1am) and anyone who is still up and partying is coming back with us to party down in the woods at this bed and breakfast's private lake with cabins... the night before the bridesmaids are staying with me in the bridal suite which features a couple bedrooms with nice bed and a bridal suite with a jaccuzi, this is in a barn on the property. the grooms men will be staying down at the cabin on the lake that night, then after the party we are going to a seperate suite that has a hot tub and a sauna thats on another barn in the property. this place is gorgeous and we got it for a good price! but my questions are:

who should walk me down the isle? my mom died when i was 17 and my dad is a useless *%$& who i definitely don't want to walk me down the isle, and i really don't have any other family.. the thing is, i do have contact with my father and he EXPECTS to walk me down the isle...he was outraged when my fiance didn't ask him for my hand, i honestly didn't see the need too since he didn't come into my life until i was 19...

is it weird to have a male as a bridesmaid? i don't have alot of close female friends and i have a male friend who i've been friends with for years who i would like to have, he is a mutual friend of my fiance, but is it weird to have a man as one of my people to stand with me?

also, i have a long time best friend who lives far away and i'd love her to be my bridesmaid, but my fiance thinks his cousin should be my bridesmaid because she is local and wants to do all the planning (like jack and jill, bachlorette) is it weird to have 2 maid of honors? the friend who lives far away will be down for my wedding and my bachlorette but she is too far to really do anything else, but i don't want to exclude her because of that??

also is it weird to mix guests at the ceremony? any wedding i've heard about the brides family is down one side and the grooms family is on the other, but unfortunately becuase i don't really have anyone there will only be 10-20 people there for me, vs my fiance's huge family....i just don't want it to seem weird or lonely?

i think these are all the questions i was pondering, i might add more here, but i just want to hear opinions and thoughts on my options here....

thankyou

 

[Anaira]

I think pretty much you can have it however you want; if you want two maids of honors, you can, and no one's going to think that's weird. Would you belive me if I told you someone had 14! bridesmaids plus a matron of honor?

Also, how about if your male friend gives you away? It's your wedding, and if anyone out there thinks that's weird, well, who cares? It is your day. I don't think it's weird, though; I think it's a great idea, if I may say so myself.

Good luck with the planning!

 

[Nancy McClelland]

Let's see--it's your wedding. Do it however you want. As to your biological father, so what. We think that since you have a male friend you want in, have him walk you down the aisle. This is your day, not anyone else's. We went round and round with the mother in law and the baker because I wanted a chocolate wedding cake. We also had a small backyard wedding instead of a three ring circus the aforementioned mother in law wanted--her parents paid for it but we wanted what we wanted. Besides, I can't stand most of my family and the only time we hear from them is when they want to borrow from us, and by borrow I mean take and never pay back. See, your not the only one with issues.

 

[degrassi]

I agree, its your wedding and you can do whatever you want.

If you are worried about choosing a maid of honor then have 2, or have none. I've been to weddings where there wasn't a "maid of honor" named. We were all just bridemaids. She didn't want to pick out of her friends(there was 3 of us that were best friends) and she didn't have a sister so she chose not to use the label.

There also isn't anything wrong with having a guy be a "bride's maid". Last year I was a "groom's men" at my best friend's wedding. Some people thought it was weird(the priest for one,lol) but no one really cared. I've been his best friend since kindergarten so of course I was going to do it. For my wedding i'm going to have him stand for me too. Its your wedding so have whoever you want.

As for walking you down the aisle this is up to you. If you dont' want your dad then it can be anyone else you choose. I've been to weddings where it was a uncle, a family friend, one of the bride's friends, I've seen women do it, or where the bride walks down alone. Nowadays wedding "rules" can be flexible. Its the bride's day and she can have it any way she wants.

For sitting at the ceremony, just tell your ushers not to divide people onto sides. Every wedding i've been to the ushers ask "are you with the bride or groom". Just have them usher people to the seats but don't have them divide them by side.

 

[jujub793]

sounds like your dad is lucky to be included in the wedding at all and what i mean by included .... is invited. Its your day and your fiance, and it should be anyway you want it.

 

[Brearune]

Lots of people dont have anyone "give them away" because they werent "owned" to begin with.
And like everyone said --- do what you want! I've heard of ALL of what you said being done before. Check out weddingwire.com! It's where I am. I'm also getting married in 2012.

 

[Nela]

Modern times, modern weddings... You can do whatever you want. There arent any set rules if you aren't set on a fullytraditional wedding. I agree though, why not have your friend walk you down the aisle? As for your father... Forget what he wants. It's YOUR day. Do what makes you happy. You can always have both. I think you just need to think of what you would like and then put it into action. Forget what is right...

:rose:

 

[hartleybun]

It's your wedding! Hubby and I had been together nearly 10 years, we had a toddler son and daughter on the way. We also didnt believe in the full blown church wedding. We got everyone together at local Registry Office and thence to a country club. I had a Matron of Honour and Hubby had a Best Man. Despite elephant sized hints I didnt have his brother's two brats as bridesmaid and page boy. Did have to shut my ears to how they were soooo upset at not being a big part of their Uncle's wedding. Perhaps if they had been taught some manners:nasty:

We just kept telling everyone that it was our wedding and we would celebrate it our way. Anyone who had a problem with that didnt have to come.

good luck! it's your day!