Planning a wedding....

[undergunfire]

Have any of you ever planned your own wedding? If so, were you ready to kill your mother in law? Were you ready to quit and just go to the courthouse? Floral shop no help? Had a crazy/mentally abusive mother coming to your wedding whether you were inviting her or not? Mother in law thinks she is baking the wedding cake...and baking it HER way? Bridesmaids are out of state and can't agree on/find the right dresses? Fiancee not caring about what things look like/being annoying? Father who only cares about making a spot in the ramada for a karaoke machine? Can't find the right favors? Fiancee saying tanning/whitening teeth from a box/getting your nails done is "a lot of money" and is secretly hinting you look fine the way you look? People complaining because you want to get married the day before at the court house and have a friend "marry" you at the ceremony because you don't want a minister or a judge there?

ssd:


HOW ABOUT THE HONEY MOON?
ullhair:



UGH! I'm so done, lol!


I just want this darn thing over with! All my family is coming from New York that I haven't seen in years. I have to meet Ryan's super religious family from the back roads of kansas who are probably going to have things to say about our non religious wedding, his grandmother is: :rollseyes, my mentally abusive mother who I haven't spoken a word to in 1.5 years is coming with her multi-millionaire husband (maybe?) and my brother in their $300k luxury RV....can't wait to see our gift (she sent me her used lingere and undies for christmas last year for no reason) :expressionless, my MIL is driving me up the wall...she is so "old school" and doesn't know what is "cool" these days...she thinks she is making our wedding cake...but I've got news for that woman!!!!!



:grumpy:

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

lol i got married at my house right after we moved in, planned it in a month, so there wasnt much time for all the drama and i liked it that way. If i had to have planned something with all the drama in it i would have defintely had lots of people mad at me ,lol.

Good luck i dont envy anyone having to plan a wedding.

It is your day do it the way YOU want to and dont let anyone tell you or force thier ideas on you.

 

[undergunfire]

The wedding is in like 6 weeks. I am a super high stress person and suffer from panic/anxiety attacks. Did I mention I am pretty much OCD, too?

:nerves1

It is getting so close and I'm getting nervous about decorations, favors, and flowers. We may just order personalized matchbooks from theknot.com ($30 for 100), go to a huge party store down in Phoenix for decorations, and get 100 bulk roses from Sam's Club for $130. I originally wanted fluorescent (hot pink, lime green, hot orange, bright turquoise, ect) colored daisies...but the flower shops said they can't die them...and it is $3 for 5 daisies :rollseyes. I am just going to go to the grocery store the morning of and the night before to get bouques to make my bouque, bridesmaids, and the boutineer thingies. The moms and grandmas are getting a single rose.

 

[JennJenn]

I am getting married in October and I can't count the amount of times I have wanted to quit and elope! It is the most stressful and frustrating thing I have ever done. Dealing with everyones complaints and input is the worst part. I want to keep my wedding small and as inexpensive as possbile but my family insists on me inviting certain people. Right now I have 70 people that I am inviting, and I really could care less abouthalf of them!

I wanted a carefree, nice, and inexpensive wedding but apparently that is impossible! All I have so far is the place, the caterer, and the dress. I can't wait for it to be over!

I'm making my own bouquets too and I am also so ready to kill my MIL!

 

[Bo B Bunny]

LOL Sorry Amy, I just know it's hard! I got engaged, planned my wedding for May... started looking at things for a very small and simple wedding..... OOPS! Luke was on the way and due in May LOL! we got our license, called around and one day we found we could go to the courthouse.... we had 1/2 hour. My mom, sis, nieces and we were there.... no one else could find us. We were married on the stops of a fountain, by a court official, and I had wet hair LOL!

 

[hartleybun]

i just did it my way, working on the theory that i was going to upset everyone:rollseyes

son was 2 and daughter was four months from arriving! we werent going to get married but thought it better for the children legal-wise. had a registry office ceremony and a slap up lunch at a hotel. that was it. we didnt believe in wasting money on some huge white wedding (yeah right). as long as you and fiance are happy thats all that matters and from the thread he sounds a lovely man:biggrin2:

 

[undergunfire]

Oh, yeah...we are definitely doing things the way WE want to do them and not anyone else.

We screwed up on the time on the invitations, so we are now having to send out "OOPS!" cards to change the time of the reception. We are pushing it up an hour, so that we have more time before it gets dark because we need to be out of the ramada a half hour before the sun goes down...this includes it being cleaned up and everything.


The girls my stepsister and her cousin (also my best friend) went to find their dresses today and finally found them! I am relieved.

^ The color of their dresses will be "Pool" and "Mermaid", which you can see HERE. I like the dress because it is a lot like mine, but mine is more poofy and eye catching.



Here is my dress, again (ugh, arm fat!):

Here is my shoes for the ceremony. They were $55 shoes on sale for $45, but we have a friend that works at JCpenny, so he got them for me for only $14:

Flip flops that I got for $8.50 for the reception:

$10 jewelery for me (yay for clearance at Claire's!):

Possible head band, but I might just get a tiara instead:

My ring:

Ryan's ring:

I don't want to wear one of those dumb garter thingies because I don't want Ryan to go up under my dress and pull it off with his teeth or something and embarass me :rollseyes. I am definitely not one that likes to be in the spotlight or display affection (or whatever!) publicly...and definitely don't want to be in the spotlight by sitting in the chair while Ryan takes my garter off :shame.


I am really scared of the whole wedding....my panic/anxiety is something I really stuggle with and I know it is going to be terrible that day. I, again, hate being in the spot light.

 

[hartleybun]

your dress is lovely and the day will belong to you and ryan:bunnyhug:and dont worry about being in the spotlight. you can bet that one of the guests will be wearing a truly hideous outfit that everyone will be trying (and failing) not to stare at:nasty:

 

[BethM]

Jason and I couldn't afford both a big wedding and a honeymoon, so we chose the honeymoon. We spent 10 days in Hawaii, and halfway through we got married at sunset on a beach. His mom was there, she was the only one who could afford the trip. My family is still a bit annoyed that they didn't get to be there, and not one person in my family gave us a gift.

But that's ok, because it was our day, and we did it the way we wanted to. My dress cost $15, $35 for shoes. Jason got a white Hawaiian wedding shirt when we were there. Spent about $100 on flowers in China Town the morning of the wedding. MIL took us to dinner at a really nice Thai place afterwards.

I hope things go well for you, and that the last pieces fall into place!

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Amy.. I think your dress is fantastic. but will you be doing the "plie'" position at your wedding too?
Sorry everytime I look at that pic I think.. "OK skaters.. grab the wall.. plie' position. if you can't feel the burn then your not doing it right"

Seriously.. remember my big wedding thread? The dress, the bridesmaids.. the tiara.. yadda yadda yadda..

We ended up going to the JP...

I couldn't deal with the crap..lol

Your a stronger woman than I am sista..

Oh and I think the term your looking for is Bridezilla

 

[kirst3buns]

Not fun! Weddings can be so stressful. As for the MIL cake thing, could you ask her to make a "grooms cake" - maybe a different flavor or something and then get a "real" wedding cake from the bakery of your choice? Maybe that would make her happy yet still allow her to do something.

I like your ideas for the flowers. My mother and I actually did all the church arrangements the day of the wedding using wildflowers. It was fun and beautiful and free!!! I was more ready to kill my sisters future father in law whos only concern was what the bar would carry at the reception. LOL Yeah, weddings sure do have a way of bringing family together...NOT!

 

[nermal71]

I got lucky way back when I got married (almost 19 years ago now). My mother and mother-in-law were both a dream as was my maid of honor. As I was too darn ill half the time to deal with anything they pretty much did all of the work while I worshiped the porcelain throne. Now my bridesmaid....well......calls me two weeks before the wedding to find out about alterations for her dress. All girls wore these cranberry dresses that were mid calf in front and long in back (hey it was the style). I told her where to take her dress. Week before wedding seamstress calls me to tell me that bridesmaid still had not brought her dress in for alterations and we were "rapidly running out of time"...ya think? I call bridesmaid she tells me she found another seamstress cheaper did I mind? Um...well it's a week to go and do I really have a choice? Day of wedding bridesmaid calls to tell me that it ended up costing her more cause the dress had some major flaws that the seamstress found, but its ok that they are fixed. While I"m breathing a sigh of relief I'm also hearing warning bells go off in my head (oh and I'm still worshiping the porcelain throne thanks to my oldest child). I walk down the aisle on Dad's arm in a dress that is a tad bit too tight now (compliments of above said child) I've got the veil and the long dress and the train, etc. I am nauseous I see my honey he looks so handsome and then I see my bridesmaid and my dad had to put his hand on my arm as I am muttering "I am going to flippin kill her...I mean it dad I'm gonna kill her" and dad is mumbling..."hush and get to the end of the aisle and get married...kill her later". Her dress was now just below her knee in length. It appears they decided to "even it up as it was way crooked". Um hello it was SUPPOSED to be cut that way? But we survived it. I even survived her and the best man disappearing for a um......side trip to the local no-tell motel on the way to the reception. Yes it sounds like something out of a Larry the cable guy movie, yes its all true and no I don't live in the backwoods. This was suburbs of Chicago. It's totally funny though 19 years later and I can look back and laugh. OH and NO I am no longer friends with the bridesmaide but I still am friends with my maid of honor. We've been friends for 34 years.

 

[Pet_Bunny]

Weddings can be so fun.

I got married in 81. But in the 70's I was booked every week-end during the summer holidays (yes I was still in high school), to take pictures for friends, and relatives,but word got out, and everyone wanted me to be their photographer. So I learned so much at each wedding, and by the time I got married, I knew what to do. :biggrin2:

On the day of our wedding, we just blew everyone away and they were in awe with what we planned for that day. Have fun planning for the big day and don't let it upset you. Then on that day, everything just falls into place, and you just enjoy the ride as it takes on its own magical moment. :love:

 

[Bassetluv]

aaahhhh, weddings....

I feel for you, undergunfire. I got married back in the late 70s and it sounds like some things just never change. Some of the pre-marriage stuff I had to deal with:

*When I chose my bridesmaids, I asked my future sis-in-law (Deb) to be one. She became upset because she wanted to be maid of honor. However, since that position was assigned to my sister, she soon relented and was happy to be in the wedding party.

*When my future MIL heard that I'd asked Deb to be in the wedding, she got upset, stating that because Deb was so huge (she was obese) she would ruin all of the wedding pictures...and MIL asked me to 'un-ask' her to be in the wedding.

*Bridesmaids dresses...it took months to get the bridesmaids (all 3 of them) to agree on a dress design. And when they finally did, the dress shop couldn't accomodate for my SILs size. Almost didn't have bridesmaids in dresses.

*My other future SIL got upset when she heard the wedding was going to be on a Saturday. She wanted it to be on an evening during the weekday - even though that was impossible for the groom - because she worked on Saturdays and didn't want to take the day off.

*I had chosen the old fire hall where my financee and I had met to be the place for our wedding reception. MIL didn't like that and kept trying to get me to change my mind, but I was adamant, since the place meant so much to me. So what did she do? She got her oldest son to pay for the rental of the new fire hall down the road, which he presented to us as his wedding gift. Fiancee said we couldn't refuse, and so MIL got her way.

*I wanted a professional photographer to take the pics, but this too was thwarted. My dad's best friend, who was a friend of the family, insisted that his gift to us would be the wedding pictures. He assured us that he was a great photographer, and of course, according to my dad we couldn't refuse his gift. So we wound up with a ton of bad shots, many shots that I'd wanted taken weren't done, and every one of the outdoor pics were taken either too far away or were washed out by the sun. They were really bad.

*My wedding dress. I chose this beautiful white gown that had tiny pearls on the trim, with sleeves that tapered to a point over the back of my hand. I actually loved that most about the dress, and when I asked the seamstress if she could hem the sleeves - they were too long for me - and preserve the look of the dress, she assured me she could. Picked up the dress a couple of weeks before the wedding...she'd cut off the tapered sleeve ends, flipped them backwards and glued them to the cuffs. Then she took the veil (hey, it was the 70s, we still wore those big veils back then ), flipped the veiling up and sewed it so it wouldn't drape down as it was supposed to. I was in tears. She ruined the dress and it was too late to fix it.

*The flowers: picked a beautiful arrangement of tiny white and red roses that flowed down with white ribbons in front of the wedding dress when held. The morning of the wedding we went to pick up the flowers; the woman who did the arrangements was on vacation and had left a temp in charge, and she'd forgotten to do our flowers. The temphad no idea how to do them so I had to settle for a round red clump of roses instead.

*The DJ for the reception. I'd wanted a real DJ or a professional band, but...you guessed it...a friend of my fiancee's insisted he do the music for us, as his gift. He wound up bringing only a smattering of songs with him, and the one song I'd asked that he play first dance exclusively, he was already in the middle of playing it when we arrived at the (new) hall. Same songs got played over and over and over all night.

*Day of the wedding. I was freaking out, I was so nervous. My future BIL was following me around the house, holding his face and moaning that he had a toothache. My brother's wife (also one of the bridesmaids) accidentally burned herself with a curling iron an hour before the wedding and she too was following me around, holding her face and complaining. She was in all the pics with this funny squinty face, looking like she was doing a pirate imitation. Then when everyone left for the church, I waited for my dad to come back and get me. And I waited. And waited. And waited. Turns out he forgot that he was the one to pick me up, so I made my grand entrance almost 15 minutes late. Everybody thought I'dpulled a Julia Roberts Runaway Bride.

Oh, and did I mention that my brother and his wife had a major fight while we were having pics taken, right after the ceremony? They announced they were breaking up, and when my new husband and I got in the back seat of my dad's car to be whisked away to the reception, Colleen jumped into the back as well, plopped herself between us and said that she was never speaking to my brother again. Then at the reception my sister broke up with her long-term boyfriend, and a fight broke out between a couple of others as well.

That was some of the things I had to deal with; there are a ton more on the list as well. But hey, I'm sure your wedding will be fine! :biggrin2:I mean, nothing could be as bad as that, right?

**Seriously though, I think you'll have a wonderful wedding. Just don't let the stress get to you too much, and have FUN!! on your day.

 

[NZminilops]

GoinBackToCali wrote:

Amy.. I think your dress is fantastic. but will you be doing the "plie'" position at your wedding too?

Haha, I keep thinking that too, but the ballet rather than skating.


I've never been to a wedding, well ok I have, but not a "proper" one. The only wedding I went to was my mums second (I did attend her first as a feotus lol!). She got married on a muddy, stony bit of ground next to a shack she was living in, tacked onto the side of a farm machinary building. It was really casual, she wore jeans and a pink t-shirt, the groom wore jeans and a black t-shirt.

The ceremony was over in about 20 seconds and we all spent the rest of the day drinking and partying, it was quite fun.


Mat wants to do the whole church thing, but doesn't want any part of organising it or deciding on anything. Me, I'd rather do what my mum did.


Amy, your dress is so cute, and stop saying you've got fat arms! Your arms at the fattest bit must be bigger than my wrists haha. Well not really, but you look fine to me.

I wouldn't tan myself if I were you, with that dress colour. Especially if you came out a little orange, it'd look weird.

 

[mouse_chalk]

Amy, I just have to say......

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!


Although, my MIL-to-be is being amazing- she lives 5 hours up North lol :biggrin2: She has nothing to do with the planning whatsoever! I think that even if she did though she'd be soooo much better than my mum.

My mum actually made the comment to me 'Well you're not Madonna! You don't need this big flash wedding!' just because we didn't want to go to a registry office and because we wanted to feed people?!! Last week I was soooo stressed out about it because my mum and dad couldn't understand why it would cost more than the amount of money they had in mind, even though we said all along that we were more than happy to contribute to the costs as well. We finally agreed on the amount that my mum and dad would pay, and we'll pay the rest. But still my dad is calling me up and telling me that under no circumstances will they 'bail us out' or pay a single penny more than they've agreed. I tell him that we wouldn't expect him to, and we can afford it etc, and he just doesn't believe me!


The one thing that is annoying me though, is people telling me 'oh you should speak to so-and-so', they did such-and-such at X's wedding and it was really nice. Or 'my friend does this, you should use her!' I just want to say LET ME CHOOSE MYSELF!!!!!!

We have the venue, my dress, my maids of honour chose their dresses today (in and out in half an hour, great!), and the venue provides food and drink. We still have to figure out flowers, and a photographer that doesn't cost the earth, plus favours, accommodation, etc etc, not to mention the guest list which might prove to be very political lol....


People keep telling me to stick to what I want, and to not let people talk us into having things that we don't want, etc. I say the same to you! Just stick to your guns and focus on enjoying your day

 

[kirst3buns]

Reading Bassetluv's story gave me some chuckles because it brought back a few memories that I'd totally forgotten. The good news about that is that in 21 years, you can look back on those things too and chuckle even though at the time they drive you insane:biggrin2:

All I remember now is that I had a lovely day, my sky was blueand we all had fun.

 

[TinysMom]

Y'all make me really appreciate my wedding almost 30 years ago.

We planned it ourselves in about 2 or 3 weeks (I forget now) - we made our own invitations (Art did the covers of them with two rings joined together with a cross in the middle) - I rented a wedding dress and veil for $50.

Art's mom paid for our cake - the ladies at church put together our reception via. a potluck type thing.

I think Art's brother did our photos if I remember right...my cousin was a bridesmaid (wearing a prom dress)...I think my younger stepbrother might've been our best man (I have to think about it - it might've been Art's younger brother).

Yeah - sometimes I wish we'd done more...we talked about doing a renewal of our vows this year for our 30th anniversary at the Ren Fair...but that looks like it is out. Just too much $$ when we need other things right now (like replacing our central air conditioner).

Enjoy your wedding and make it your own. Do I wish we'd done things differently? Sometimes...but its really our marriage that matters - the wedding was a one day thing - our relationship is what has stood the test of time.

I'll be wishing you the best of luck as you get ready for your special day!

 

[mouse_chalk]

Oh, and if you want to see fat arms, you should see a picture of me in my dress! The actual dress is corseted, so I don't really need to worry about my figure, but my arms look like great big blobs stuck on the side of me. I got a new swimming costume today so I will be trying my hardest to swim my arms off before September!

 

[undergunfire]

Thanks, you guys :biggrin2:! I wish I could reply to each and every one of you individually, but I'd be sitting here for quite the while .


I definitely want to do things our way and not let anyone butt in and take over. My coworker is telling me that with my stress (ehh...anxiety), that I should back off a little bit and let others take care of some things...but I just can't because what if they ruin it?! LOL.

On top of all the wedding stuff....Ryan keeps trying to discuss and plan with me a coffee shop! His sister (she owns a store in Madison, WI) said that we should open up our own coffee shop/band venue and she will mentor us. Ugh....I really wanted to move out of this dumb state and back towards the east coast, but I guess not anymore! I'll share more on this later. If we've talked before, you probably know Ryan and "all of his crazy ideas" :rollseyes.



Kirst...I like the idea of her doing the groom's cake. That might work out. She can still bake a cake, but not my wedding cake.



For a photographer, we have Ryan's manager's wife. She did our engagement pictures and did a nice job with them. I, of course, will be armed with my xsi at the reception .

My coworker is going to bring the tiara into me tomorrow, that she wore to her wedding. I might just borrow it from her if I like it, it will save me like $30 bucks and I can return that head band that I bought.


Some of you guys had some crazy wedding stories, LOL! I bet I will have stories to tell, especially if my "mother" comes. She is such a rotten woman (Peg & Ali know the stories). Even though I haven't spoke to her in 1.5 years, it still really irks me that she hasn't called/emailed to offer to help pay for anything...especially when her husband or whatever is a multi-millionaire. I hope she says clear of me and doesn't hurt my feelings. It has been so nice not having her dragging me down over the past 1.5 years.


Ohhh...and I found out I can get 80 daisies for $63 shipped to Sam's Club. They come in pastel "light" type colors or "bright" colors....they do not come in purple, turquoise, lime green, etc though. I think they come in yellow, pink, hot pink, red, white, etc.



ETA: Jen...you are lucky...you have until September! I have 6 weeks to drop my arm flub :rollseyes. Oh yeah, I need to find one of those corset thingies with a built in bra...which is proving to be very hard. I don't want to pay $70 when I will wear it for a couple of hours. The only other ones I can find are spandex...and I don't plan to wear spandex on my wedding day .