O/T may need to put our dog to sleep in a couple/few months

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Lynda

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, Pennsylvania, USA
There are tons of children's books on pet loss, but I haven't found any dealing w/pet euthanasia.

Zach's therapist is helping me search and I'll ask the vet when we goagain.....Anyonehereever come across one?

We just lost my Dad (Zach's PopPop) in Januaryand he'sknown/loved other animals that have died naturally, so death is not newto him.

Like I said, Idon't want him to somehow think we're "killing" our dog.

In case anyone is curious/interested....Cadbury (Shih Tzu) is 13. She'sgot 2 collapsed discs and arthritic hips. I'm praying the meds westarted give her relief and she becomes a little more mobile, butlooking at the x-rays the vet said, "God bless her.Honestly,I'msurprised she'snot paralyzed!"

I think if another disc goes, she might be:(


Edited to add pic....Yes, she is wearing a diaper.

cadbury2005.jpg

 
I am not sure if I can help but I willtry. The only thing I can think of is to find a support groupon the internet for autistic children and ask them what theysuggest? And I am pretty sure you have probably already donethat:p.



Good luck with Cadbury, she sounds like she is a stubborn, willfull little dog who refuses to give up!
 
Lynda on March 30, 2005 we had to putmy brothers dog and English Boxer named Dakota down. Mybrother passed away a few yrs ago and his dog had been in the familysince he was about 1 yr old and when we put him down he was13. It was such a hard and heartbreaking decision but hecouldnt get up, he was loosing his bladder and bowelfunctions. When he was about 6 he jumped from my brotherstruck that was on the freeway onto the roadway below. How hesurvived is beyond me, as he shouldnt have. He had plates inall for of his legs and screws, he broke 3/4 of his teeth and only hada few left. I am not one that would support euthenasia (hopedspelled correctly) but in some circumstances it is better off for theanimal. I couldnt see him hurt anymore and felt that it wasntmy place to keep him here if he was suffering. Look into yourheart and remember your beauty when he/she was able to jump around, runaround and play. It broke my heart everyday when I saw him suffer andtry to get around, and with that image I made the decision to end hissuffering. I dont know why he held on for so long, but he isno longer in pain and does not suffer anymore. That is theimage I wish to remember, him running playing and just being adog. Hope this helps.

As far as explaining the death, I dont know if you are religous at all,but maybe just explaining that the dog whom you have loved for allhis/her life has gone to a better place where they can play and runwithout pain. I read the other post which talked aboutautisim. Is your son autistic? If so I know thismay be a bit harder. I worked with autistic children for yrsand when they grow attached to an object whether it be a person, animalor inanimate object, it is hard for them to understand when that personor animal is gone. God bless for both you and your dog.
 
I wish I had some great words of wisdom to offeron how to tell your son, but I honestly don't have any. It'shard for any child to lose their beloved pet. When I waslittle and we had to have our great dane put to sleep, my mom didn'ttell me. She just told me that the dog had died. Ithink at the time, it made things easier for me, but in the long run, Ifelt betrayed.

What I did want to share with you are some words of wisdom a wonderfulvet gave me when I had to have my 13 year old husky put down.It was very hard because she had been my dad's dog and he had passedaway just 1 year before. He reminded me that animals livetheir entire lives giving to us selflessly and love us unconditionally,however, we as humans are incapable of such unconditional love andselfless giving. He told me that helping to end your pet'spain because it is what is best for the animal (as they can't evenbegin to understand why they are suffering) is the one selfless thingwe can do for them. It is the one great gift we can give themthat has nothing but them at heart.

I hope this helped. It gave me comfort to know that my dadwas waiting for my dog at the rainbow bridge. Please knowthat Cadbury will be waiting for you.

Jen
 
We got an older small parrotabout ayear and a half ago. When we got him, my son was convinced it his washis bird. He loved the bird VERY much and was very attatched to it.Thursday morning I woke up to find that the bird was near death. Hewasn't moving at all except breathing. I felt horrible because it keptdragging on and on. I think he was struglling for at least half an hourafter I found him. It finally occured to me to call my son down to saygood bye. When my son came in, our bird looked up at him, my son saidgood bye and that he loved him, a second later our bird gave one laststretch and was gone. I believe Fifi was waiting for my son before helet go. My son actually handled it very well.

I think letting your son stay with your dog while she's put to sleep issomething you might consider. I think that he'll feel he was able tohelp comfort her in her last moments.

Hugs

Megan
 
I was always personally more able to connectwith animals than people, so my grief when they died wasrather....explosive. I was usually more contained.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I really understood the conceptthat sometimes it's better to let go. I still struggle withthat.

Anyway, some autie/aspie kids don't show any emotion in that situation,some show a lot, but there's always something going on beneath thesurface. Clues to that are odd and apparently unrelated behaviors.Like, I might dosomething weird like sleep on the floor in acorner instead of in bed when an animal died. And grief over animalsmade me cry, but I couldn't cry over people. Instead, my face would beblank and expressionless. Seeing dead bodies terrified and baffled me.It was better for me not to see them dead, but to remember them alive.

There are a lot of contradictory reactions that can occur forautie/aspie kids when something major happens. The biggest help youcould give is not to judge understanding or copingbased onthe normal emotional expressions and related actions, because it's allupside down and backwards for those on the spectrum. And everyone'sdifferent anyway.

Good luck and best wishes,

Rose

P.S. I'm on the spectrum too.
 
Thank you so much everyone!

Themeds seem to be helping! Bloodwork came back fine andCadbury'susing all fours again:) When wewent to thevet, she w/couldn't put weight on her back leftleg.We're being very gentle with and keeping a veryclose eye on her.

Zach really needed to be includedwhen my Dadwassick/dying. I'm guessing it'll be the same with the dog. His therapistand I will talk to him. If/when the time comes, if Zach feels heneeds/wants to be there, he will be. If not, he'll know that's ok too;)



I gave cadbury a haircut today

Here she is before

cadbury2005.jpg




And after

cadbury.jpg


Good thing I don't plan on being a professional groomer huh!?LOL


 
We are dealing with an older 17 year old dog.ihope he will pass away peacefullly on his own but if he is in pain iwill put him to sleep.I have no idea how to deal with an autistic childbut i wish you much luck in dealing with an already tuffsituation.bluebird
 
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