I'm so sorry! Sometimes we do all we can and it's still not enough
. I hadn't realized that his breathing was so labored that he was breathing through his mouth... it sounds like the infection progressed far too rapidly for the usual trial-and-error (re: antibiotics) to have time to find something effective.
I'm glad you could be there with him when he passed away. In my experience, being with a deathly ill pet means more to them than they could ever express. When I found my beloved Tabitha (a 9 month old white-faced blonde sugar glider who had an unborn joey in her pouch at the time) seemingly on the verge of death last June, we rushed her to the emergency vet but sadly, she passed away 2-3 minutes before we arrived
(a necropsy was done, which revealed a liver infection). When I first found her, she had been laying on the floor of the cage (rather than their sleeping pouch) in an uncomfortable looking position and was felt to the touch - we warmed her up with a hot pack beneath a fleece blanket and Jay cradled her in his lap during the drive; I reached over to love on her whenever I wasn't busy driving/shifting.
We begged her to pull through but told her we would understand if she didn't and offered constant reassurance that we loved her SO much. I could tell by how she seemed to perk up, miserable as she was, that just knowing we were there and were doing what we could was a tremendous comfort - she didn't care that we weren't able to save her; the fact that we were *trying* meant the world to her. I felt like she knew it was her time... she wasn't wanting us to save her or make her better; she simply wanted us to be there so she wouldn't have to die alone.
In the end, that's all our pets ask of us - that we care enough to try our best... and there's no doubt in my mind that Good Sir knew how hard you tried to get him better. In his last moments, he knew that he was truly loved and appreciated. You gave him a wonderful life and made sure he was happy and well-cared for - something he was surely thankful for every day and quite possibly the only thing left on his mind as he departed this world.
Binky free, Good Sir! :rainbow: