My husbands future plans... I need opinions

[Mummel]

Like somemight know my husband is in the military and currently deployed to Iraq.
We talked a lot about what to do with our live when he gets back.

I just want him to get out and live a happy life.
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-He wants to stay in longer for the money - or-

-He also considers working for special forces , that would mean his whole life would be army, deployments and missions...

-But his latest idea is us working for the KBR, civilians working for the army in war zones. We would basically be deployed with the soldiers.

I think thats a really dangerous idea..I wonder whats going on in his head.
He says after that we would have a house and a car payed off..I coulnt care less about that.

I dared to ask him once to get out of the army and he got very upset and called me selfish.

I'm really confused and dont know what to think about it...

 

[AnnaS]

If you don't want to go, you should not go since it would not make you happy. Your husband will have to make his own choices, you can't make them for him.

 

[Jenni]

I respectfully disagree with AnnaS. The decisions that your husband makes affects you both--especially the one he is considering.

When people get married they cannot always do whatever they want to--like when they were single. Since his decision to re-enlist or work in Iraqaffects where you live, and how often you are together, and is potentially very dangerous for him or you both, you need to make this decision together.

If your husband is currently in Iraq at the moment, his position could change when he returns. I don't know if there are any military people around the forum. I am sure that you could get some better advice from them.

If he is coming home before he has to make the decision, I would tell him that you want to talk seriously about it then. Coming home may help him to get things in perspective. Also, I don't think it is wrong or selfish to stand your ground on big issues like this. You need to make those big decisions together.

 

[Snuggys Mom]

I convinced my husband to leave the military in '93 (after 10 years of service). I'm sorry I did that now. Of course things weren't quite as bad then as they are now.

If he'd stayed in, he would have retired in 2003 with fullbenefitsand we'd be sitting pretty now.

I completely understand your concerns. I hope you can come to a decision that makes you both happy.

 

[AnnaS]

I guess you should make decisions together, but what if the other person does not listen to you and is being stubborn about his decision. Then you can't do anything.

 

[Mummel]

@Jenni

I would like to talk about that to him in person but hes contract ends before he gets back so we need to decide this year in fall - over the phone.

@ Laura

If there wouldnt be the war I would be okay with the military. But I cant take fearing for his life daily..its not just that I dont want that I literally cant because I get sick.

We were hoping to get stationed somewhere safer where the trous are not deploying right now. But thats hard to get.

Anyway, I would not be willing to support a foreign Army or anything that has to do with war.