My Anxiety and my Rabbit's Behaviour

[Barley N. Hopps]

Barley has been a little off lately, not eating as much as usual and not romping around as much as usual. It's time for his annual check-up so he will be seeing the vet soon, but I've recently suffered a loss in my family and, along with the mental anguish of grieving, am also dealing with some physical manifestations of acute grief as well.

Now, I know from experience that a dog will sense one's mood and try to sympathize and support. Would rabbits, being at the other end of the food chain, respond by being a bit fearful perhaps? Does Barley sense my sadness and fear it? We also own two chinchillas and they don't want to have much to do with me either at this time. It's been about 6 weeks since my loss and it's almost been getting worse rather than easier to bear. I've just seen the doctor and am on mild anti-anxiety meds.

Any thoughts? It would explain why our pets suddenly avoid me! :bigtears:

 

[Sophie's Humble Servant]

I personally believe that all animals sense energy, positive or negative. Thus if you're feeling sadness and anxiety, your rabbit will sense it and it may effect them emotionally and/or physically.

Your emotions would effect each animal differently. My cat is very sensitive when I'm sad or sick. My rabbit is too but not as deeply as my cat. I've also had my cat for almost 19 years so that may be why.

 

[Aubrisita]

I believe that animals can sense our emotions. I got my first bunny Stache when I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 years. I was devastated, esp. because my 9 year old lab, Lilly, stayed with him. Stache always seemed to know when I needed extra cuddles. He would come over to me and lay his head on my arm and give me kisses.

 

[BlueMoods]

They can sense our emotions, mine do but, when I'm feeling anxious or down, if I takl to them in a soothing voice. "It's okay, momma doesn't feel good right now but, you make me happy." sort of thing and smile softly then pet them, they seem to get the idea and either romp around me or come snuggle.

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

I guess Barley is different in his thinking. He was pretty much wild caught, a feral bunny up at the local university who, as a baby, was rabbit-napped by my daughter. He was about 2 months old, the vet figured, so weaned from his mother, but she had two months to teach him about what to eat and what to run from (except she missed the part about young uni students picking him up!) He adores having his head and ears rubbed, but gets quite nervous about cuddles. Picking up and snuggling is right out. Perhaps he was taught that energy such as mine is right now is probably dangerous and should be avoided. I hope to only be on medication for a short time and then work on getting back to normal without it so hopefully Barley and the two chins will be patient with me and not write me off completely!

 

[Sophie's Humble Servant]

Don't feel bad about not being able to pick up and snuggle your rabbit...most of them don't fancy it anyway, which is completely normal
And of coarse they won't write you off! They will sense when you're feeling better which will cause less concern for them I would think.

 

[PaGal]

Buns are prey animals and so most of them do not like being picked up or snuggled with. They can learn to tolerate picking up. My flemmie doesn't like being picked up but will snuggle in his own way by laying his head on my lap. Just because I feel snuggling would be the height of affection does not mean that he feels that way.

Your critters won't write you off. I think animals tend to live more in the here and now. Yes, if they have strong reason to remember something they can be affected by it ever after such as abuse or always receiving something positive from a particular behavior. But I don't think they would give up on you for being sad for a while.

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

I'm encouraged by your words, everyone, thank you! I often hear of people with rabbits who have been handled since they were tiny and they're able to snuggle and cuddle them and tote them around, and often wondered if my Barley still didn't trust me very much. He's now 5 years old and we've always respected his boundaries, and I think he appreciates that in his own little way. I figured it was the Rabbit Way to not like being snuggled and carried, but there must be some exceptions out there! He does tug at my pant leg or socks in his demand for a head/ear rub though and can be very definite about that!

I was also thinking like you, PaGal, that because they are prey animals, my change in mood would cause him concern and discourage him from getting too close, just in case. It's hard to know what they're thinking sometimes. Last year, when he got sick with GI Stasis and I had to force-feed him, I figured he'd hate me forever for all the manhandling and "abuse", but he seemed more affectionate than ever. Hopefully he felt better after getting some food in and associated "feeling better = me"!

 

[Aubrisita]

My Luna does NOT like to be picked up, or cuddled. The only time I can pet her is when her back is to me. If I try to rub her nose or stroke her ears, she freaks out. She was seized in a cruelty case. I adopted her from the SPCA a month ago and it has taken that long for us to get where we are. So no worries, if Luna can learn to trust me after some crazy person did lord knows what to her ear (she only has one), your guy will forgive you for the force feeding...it sounds like he knew you were helping him.

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

Oh no! One ear? She must've come from a brutal place, poor thing! Under those circumstances, it's remarkable you can touch her at all in only one month. Animals are such sincere beings. It's unfathomable to me that anyone could be so evil to them. Thank goodness for organizations like the SPCA, and the people who support and adopt from them!

 

[lovelops]

For the sake of not writing something exact, I'm going to paste here what I put in my bun Henry's blog when she was suffering from GI Statis. I think it fits perfectly here and should give you a bit of a giggle concerning the SNL sketch!

Do not think negatively. Your animal will pick up on it. I realized that one time when I was freaking out with my bun when I was checking up on him. I know someone is going to probably shoot me down on power of positive thinking, but animals can sense fear and a whole range of other emotions.

Be as positive as you can be with your bun in this trying time. Be extremely encouraging with her. I'm not saying be Stuart Smiley if you remember him from Saturday Night Live (one of the quotes from him I remember and thought was funny was: "But today, I've decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater. It was sent to me by a recovering sex addict, Melissa D., who knitted it herself; she said it gave her something to do with her hands."), but remember Plato.

Even as Plato wrote, " we cannot cure the body with body; we cure the body with the mind, and if the mind is confused and upset, it cannot cure anything properly."

I found this was true when my mother was sick and in the hospital or ICU and I was given negative info from the doctors
saying once again she was going to die and I should prepare for her to go. It made me feel like Cher in Mask if anyone remembers that film.

Rusty Dennis: First you told me he was gonna be retarded, then you told me he was gonna be blind AND deaf. If I'd dug his grave every time one of you geniuses told me he was gonna die, I'd be eating f***in' chop suey in China by now!

I know it takes time to get over anything and I hope you are pulling through..

Vanessa

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

Thanks Vanessa! I lost my Mom about six weeks ago and had been caring for her for the last 7 years or so. Not that she needed a lot - she was still quite capable until the end, but was fairly immobile and needed help to shower, and I provided her meals and snacks. She lived with us, and was 96 and on oxygen and pretty crippled up with osteoporosis. She was ready to go about a year ago, but we don't have control over that matter! We've always been very close, best friends, and I thought she was the best mom ever. Hardly a day in my 55 years on this earth didn't have a phone call, a letter, or a visit in person with her. While working through the grief, my body has decided to throw some curves at me to top things up, like palpitations, flipping stomach, mind going in 60 directions at once... you probably know the feeling. I'm taking a low dose anti-anxiety medication for a short time to help get the physical issues to calm down. You're right, doctors can be very negative. We were fortunate in that the doctors we dealt with were very kind and honest with us. Also, the Palliative Care Unit was amazing, and the staff gentle, kind and respectful.

I try hard to be very positive when around the animals as I know they sense all sorts of signals and may misinterpret them. I keep my voice light and kindly, offering lots of pats, getting down to their level, etc. I think Barley is doing a bit better with me today. Might be the effect of the medication - maybe I'm more mellow than before. Anyway, I guess I'll feel more like myself eventually, but life will certainly be different. It sure is comforting to just sit and bury your face in a lovely warm bunny.

 

[Sophie's Humble Servant]

Animals give us therapy without even knowing it. That's one thing, out of a million that makes them so special and amazing

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

I agree, pets are very therapeutic. I used to find my bird, a cockatiel named Rufus, could calm me down completely. I'm sure the world would be a much nicer place if everyone had at least one pet to love.

 

[lovelops]

I totally understand your situation. My mother died in 2005 and yet it still seems like yesterday. My father died in 2011 and today would have been his birthday. He was born in 1932 and my mom 1933. My mother fell Christmas Day and had problems walking. What we found out later that it was a disc herniation that could have been easily taken care of had the doctors taken proper Xrays, MRI's, and CT scans. They didn't. They operated on her and severed part of her spinal cord.
I made a decision to move her in with me and take care of her instead of putting her in a nursing home like the doctors suggested because after all, who really wants to take care of someone disabled, right? Was the doctors opinion over and over. I was horrified at their attitude and still to this day believe doctors only want to deal with healthy patients.

You were blessed with the fact your mom lived a long full life that she was able to get around and wasn't totally dependent until close to the end. In that aspect you guys really had it all. I wish I could have had that with my mother. I never thought it was going to end the way it did. If she had lived to 90 I would have been over joyed. If she had lived to 80 I would have been thrilled. I never saw her dying as young as she did due to complications from being paralyzed and to this day I wish I could go back and try to do X or Y different, but in reality that is a waste of time.

We all do what we can to the best of our abilities at the time things are happening. It sounds to me like you were a great daughter and personally I would have been overjoyed to have had my mother live to 96. You should be glad you got to spend as much time with her as you did and it sounds to me she was mostly lucid. Many of us never get that type of ending with our parents, so in that aspect I really envy you!!!! I know it's hard and time will pass and it will never get easier. There was a quote I found and posted on here a little while ago that sums up how the pain and hurt passes after time and I'm going to post it here:

“But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going in to every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone.”
― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott

Try to take of yourself, give the bunnies and your other pets some love and take it one day at a time..

Vanessa

 

[Barley N. Hopps]

Thank you Vanessa. Lots of very wise words I can carry with me. XXOO