lonely and sad.

[BunLuvvie]

I'm usually a optimistic happy person, but right now I'm feeling pretty lonely. The guy I liked led me on to think he actually cared about me, now he's indifferent towards me.:tears2: My "best friend" hasn't called, texted, emailed or noticed me for weeks now. Neither has any of my other friends. I know their not busy, because best friend is throwing a party tomorrow and I didn't get the memo. She also said a month ago, when she throws the party I'd be the first she'd take. We go to different schools now, and it seems like she's just replacing me with one of the new girls:cry2. I'm not clingy, just we were so close-I knew her forever. :sigh:

So, to sum it all up, do you have any advise for me about the guy thing and the friend thing?

 

[anneq]

I'm sorry to hear that Sarah - seems you've just had a streak of bad luck, with your boy-friend losing interest and your best friend becoming distracted by another friend she's made.
I don't know your age, but sometimes, for who-knows-what reason, people, especially when young,(sorry, I am old, lol -3 teenagers)can be rather fickle in their friendships & relationships in general. I'd have to say, don't assume it has ANYTHING to do with you - the blame-game
is pretty pointless. You could just ask you friend out-right if there was any reason you haven't seen/spoken for awhile - or you could ask her if she'd like to meet for lunch or coffee since you two hadn't had a chance to talk lately..and maybe see if you can discern if there's any one particular reason why she's been out of the picture lately. As for the boyfriend, I can't really help you there, but I am very sorry - it's painful and a terrible punch to one's self-esteem, but the pain will lessen, and believe it or not, you probably won't remember this guy in a couple of years. Again, DON'T assume it's you or even mostly you...if you see some obvious mistakes you made, then just admit it to yourself. Most guys aren't big into discussing the reasons why they behaved a certain way. He may not even know himself why he's lost interest. Again, maturity plays a role in this - there are so many reasons why..without really knowing anything more, I can't really say.
Learning how to deal with sadness and loneliness, though, is just a part of what it means to be human...they are hard lessons, but there's no escaping them, and you will discover that you can come out stronger than you were before. (I know, easier said than done..but I've been there - school of hard knocks).
If there's anyone that you feel comfortable talking to (family member, pastor, etc) then it might be a good idea to see if you can run it past them and get their input.
Sometimes all we really need it someone to listen so we can talk it out and get some distance on something that is so terribly close to us.
Hope that anything I might have said helps and again, I'm sorry you're feeling so blue.

/hugs
Anne

 

[Malexis]

Wow.. I read you post and thats the exat same thing happening to me (the best friend thing.) We hung out on my birthday about two weeks ago, and she kinda upset me. Now we havent talked since, she did text me some stupid question yesterday acting kinda weird.. But my advice is if she doesnt wanna hang out with you, then you know what; your too good for that. Dont let it bother you. Find other people to hag out with, and if later she decides she made a mistake and misses you then maybe you can patch things up

 

[DeniseJP]

Excellent advice given...I am a mom with two teens (almost 19 and 17) and was in your shoes back in the Middle Ages.

Things will improve!

Denise

 

[Becca]

Hiya I know how you feel - been there, had it done to me. My PM box is open I think I'm a similar age to you (if your a teenages?) so I'm always here to talk xxxx

 

[anneq]

"in your shoes back in the Middle Ages." haha oh my gosh, yes, it certainly feels like it was back then.
Those times were SO great...but you know, I'd never want to go back

 

[BunLuvvie]

Thanks guys. Yes, I'm a teenager (turning 14) We talked and she said that I was always too busy to hang out with her. Yes, I am busy, but she never asks. Oh well, I'll try to free my schedule up and then invite her to go to the mall. And then I'll start hanging out with different friends.

 

[Becca]

Sounds good - Good luck hope everything works out

 

[kirst3buns]

Thanks guys. Yes, I'm a teenager (turning 14) We talked and she said that I was always too busy to hang out with her. Yes, I am busy, but she never asks. Oh well, I'll try to free my schedule up and then invite her to go to the mall. And then I'll start hanging out with different friends.

She may have interpreted your busy schedule as not wanting to be with her. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and see if you can't free up your schedule and make a point to be with her if you still want to be friends.She may need you to askher to do things a few times in order to feel you really do want to be friends. Its hard to say without knowing her but it could be just a case of mistaken intentions.

 

[BunLuvvie]

I called her and invited her to the movies, but half the time she put me on hold and was talking on her cell to her other friend. She didn't know I could hear them. RUDE!! ssd: She already had plans also with my other friend though and it sounded like she didn't want me to know.

 

[MyLOVEABLES!!]

Okay i was gonna say, change schedules maybe but then since your last post.

I'd say you dicth. If she really acts liek that no offence but i don't think she's a good friend. But i think you should always confront her first. I'm a year younger than you but i know what you mean, been through it.

- prisca

 

[DeniseJP]

Hope things are going better for you since your initial post and that you are not feeling sad and lonely...that is a tough feeling to have as a teen.

Denise

 

[BunLuvvie]

Thank you everybody for all your kind words and advice, you guys are awesome!! I am feeling a lot better and even though me and my friend aren't that close anymore I still have my friends on RO!!:biggrin2:

 

[PepnFluff]

Have you talked to her? Girls begin to get really witchy round that age, there could be some rumour flying round too. I got ditched when I was 13 because suddenly my friend "x" starting hanging out with the cool crowd and to be in that she couldn't associate with me. Only a few months later they ditched her, what goes around comes around I spose. If shes still being a cow, move on man your better thn that! Get some new friends who appreciate you, for you!

 

[Spring]

:yeahthat:

I honestly want to strangle half ofteenage girls - I swear. I've had that situation happen tome more than once, it's ridiculous. Really shows how shallow and flaky people can be.. definitely an early warning that they may not be the best person to be friends with.

Don't worry, there are nice girls out there. They are just muddled up in a pool of not so nice ones. Even as you get a few years older, you can see the maturity levels sky rocket. Even from when I was 14 and now close to 17, it's a lot less stressful with dealing with these kind of issues, because now most people are beginning to loose that stupid high school cliquey mindset.

I hope you can patch up with your friend. But I read this quote a while back that fits perfectly in these kind of situations. "Don't make someone a priority if they canonly make you an option".

 

[MyLOVEABLES!!]

PepnFluff wrote:

Have you talked to her? Girls begin to get really witchy round that age, there could be some rumour flying round too. I got ditched when I was 13 because suddenly my friend "x" starting hanging out with the cool crowd and to be in that she couldn't associate with me. Only a few months later they ditched her, what goes around comes around I spose. If shes still being a cow, move on man your better thn that! Get some new friends who appreciate you, for you!

:yeahthat: Phoebe always gives the best advice.

 

[anneq]

""Don't make someone a priority if they can only make you an option"."

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Teen-age girls are SO fickle (been one, have 2 teens girls and 1 16yr.old boy, and by far the more emotionally volatile are the girls).

Don't burn your bridges, she may turn out to be a decent adult and there are plenty of great people out there to befriend, too.
She may be an inconsiderate, bratty teen-age girl now..as for the woman she will grow into one day, who knows?

She may mature and become someone worth having as a friend, but really, it's more important that you become that kind of person - you only have so much control over other people..you have a lot more control (and responsibility) on the person you will turn out to be.

p.s. glad you're feeling back on top