Little Binx

[CKGS]

Today I made a horrible mistake that cost my friend/my baby his life. I am quite ashamed of myself but I know that won't bring him back. :tears2:

Already I miss him more than I can express.... He wasn't here long but he touched mine and my childrens' lives, especially my youngest sons. He won't be forgotten and neither will my mistake that took him away.

I wish I could erase todays events and start over. I wish I could take it all back and redo it but I know it can't be undone. Grieving is always hard but this time will be extra hard as it was my misjudgement that allowed this and the price to pay was and is very high. There will never be another Binx.

Such a sweet guy.. He knew when my son was sick and he laid near him, for such a young bun this seemed so strange but so Binx like. I have not written as much about Binx as I always have more Abby stories to tell. She is my bun with attitude and Binx is, was, such a quiet, good natured boy with nary an attitude, never angry and always quite happy to be stroked and held. I will miss stroking him. He was my source of solace when things got crazy and the one I went to when I was feeling stressed. What happened today was so out of character for him- I honestly never expected it from him. Abby- yes, Binx-no...

What I can say is this- he never felt any pain that I could tell. He was there and then he wasn't. I buried his body but not his soul. I don't grieve for that body, I grieve for that soul that made Binx- Binx... my special little boy.

I hope he has met my GSDs at the gate and that they protect and watch over him, like they did us, until I get there. I love you so very much Binx.

 

[Flashy]

I'm so sorry. I too have lost buns due to my mistakes, and other buns where I percieved I made mistakes, but other people disagree.

Would you like to talk about what happened? I'm sure no one would judge you because we have ALL made mistakes with our buns and we will ALL make mistakes in the future too. It's part of being a fallible human being.

He does certainly sound like a very special and sensitive guy that held a very special place in your families home. I'm sorry he won't be there to share many more happy times, but try to draw comfort from the times he did have.

Binky Free Binx.

CKGS- If you want to chat, feel free to PM me. x

 

[CKGS]

Thank you so much Flashy. It is so hard to talk about what happened because it was my fault. I should have never let this happen. I was cleaning cages and feeding him and Abby this morning and Binx climbed out of the cage and was on top of it begging for his morning scritches. I gave him a few and then stepped away to go get him some more food in his bowl and that's when it happend. Binx jumped. This wouldn't be bad but his cage is on top of a dresser (very tall one) and he didn't land right at all. He landed head first. He hit hard and he never cried, never made a sound. I ran but I couldn't get there fast enough. I heard the snap and there was nothing I could do. I just grabbed him up and held him. His sweet face was the same as always. He died because I didn't take him down. He wanted to follow me, he wasn't done with getting his lovings. I never thought he would jump. It never crossed my mind. He has always been so nervous up high and this wasn't typical Binx. I don't know why I didn't put him down. And he paid the greatest price for my pure moment of idiocy. I told him I was sorry and I got mad at him for jumping but mostly I am mad at myself. I have always prided myself in being extremely careful with my pets and thinking of them as children and then I did this.. I never thought of myself as an irresponsible pet owner til today...

 

[Flashy]

Oh, I'm so very sorry. I know you blame yourself and I'm not going to tell you not to, not because I think you should blame yourself, but if I tell you not to blame yourself you will come up with loads of reasons why you should blame yourself (if that makes sense).

However, what I will say is this. That was an incredibly tragic and unfortunate accident. He could have jumped off and landed fine, or hurt his paw and been ok, but he happened to land badly. It is very tragic, but even if you had been there, you never know, it could have happened anyway, it could have been even worse for him, because if you had tried to catch him he may have fallen 'worse' and ended up with a more painful and slower death. I personally wouldn't look to blame you for that, I think that truly is just a tragic accident.

It sounds though, that he didn't know any of what happened. As far as he was concerned he had just been loved up to the eyeballs, had some yummies and was quite content with himself. He wouldn't have felt pain, or distress, he would have felt only happiness at being in such a loving family. Yes, he may have left you earlier than you wanted, but maybe with time the fact he was so happy might bring you comfort.

I do think that talking about this is important because I really can relate to how guilty you feel and that guilt has eaten me up because I haven't really talked about it (I'm such a hypocrit).

I think you're a good bunny mum and your bunnies are very lucky to have you. We all fall victims to tragic accidents sometimes, its not anyones fault, it is just a tragic accident.

x

 

[CKGS]

Thanks Flashy. I know you have had a recent loss also and I know it must be hard to comfort someone else and I thank you for that. I am very sorry for your loss as well. I have come to know that no matter how long you have a loved one it is never as long as we want. I just had hoped to have Binx around so much longer. He wasn't here long enough and so young. I hate this...

 

[Happi Bun]

Oh no, I'm so very sorry for your loss Janet. :hug:

ray: Binky Free Binx :bunnyangel:

 

[Flashy]

It's definitely a horrible and wretched time for you. Just try to take each moment at a time and not look too far ahead.

My loss was very different and feels very different from the times I have lost a bun under such tragic circumstances as yours. For me, with Summer, yes, I miss her greatly, but equally, I have a sense of peace that she is no longer in pain and we chose the right time to help her cross to the bridge. That definitely makes it easier for me, however, like I said, I can definitely relate to this feeling you are feeling now, because I have been there, in actual fact, I've been there 4 or 5 times within the past few years, and it is a very wretched feeling.

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

I'm so sorry that you lost your Little Binx! I know it's easy to say that accidents happen when it isn't your dear one that has been taken. Please know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers. May the pain and guilt that you are feeling now be erased and replaced with all of the wonderful memories of your time living with and loving Little Binx.

 

[SweetSassy]

I'm so sorry Janet. If you need to talk, PM anytime.



Binky Free Binx :angelandbunny:

 

[irishbunny]

Oh no I'm so sorry!
I can only imagine how you feel right now, it was a freak accident, it was not your fault, like you said, you didn't think he would jump.
At least you know he didn't feel any pain!

Binky free Binx ray:

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[anneq]

I'm so very sorry Janet for your loss.
As trite as it may sound, it is true - accidents happen, and even though we're adults and we feel as though we shouldn't make them, that isn't true.
I have lost in the past a few pets to my own stupidity, and I can say now that anyone could have made that mistake - I wasn't thinking and yes, an animal paid the price for that.
No one should judge you - who hasn't made some horrible mistake and one time or another?
You gave him a wonderful home while he lived on this Earth .
Again, I can't tell you how sorry I am - I've been in your shoes.

/hugs

 

[tonyshuman]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how painful this is for you. Losing them is terrible, and even more so when you feel you could have prevented it. Like Flashy said, there was no way to know he'd do that or to know that he'd be hurt really badly if he did. How sad.

Binky free, sweet Binx.

 

[NorthernAutumn]

:hug:
Such a sad accident... unpredictable. BIG BIG BIG hugs, Janet.
You and your family loved him very much, and he knew it to the very last.

urplepansy::rainbow:urplepansy:
Binky free across the Bridge, Little Binx.

Autumn

 

[Maureen Las]

I used to have 4 guinea pigs when I lived in Chicago . I had the male neutered and the mother and the 2 daughters all lived together. I used to put down newspapers in my bathroom and let them play in there almost daily. I would put a fence at the door. Oftentimes the pigs would get under the newspapers because they like to get under things.

One day I was very very upset about something else and I was putting down the newspapers. I used to place them differently at the doorway so that when I stepped over the fence there could not be a guinea pig under anything. I did not put down the newspapers the correct way because I was in a hurry and distracted. I thought to myself

"I have to remember that I left things this way so that I don't step on one of them when I go over the fence. "

That afternoon I went over the fence and stepped on one of the daughters. She was very lively and young and would make the loudest wheeking sounds when I brought veggies

I broke her neck.

She looked stunned for a moment and I called "Lucy Lucy" and within a minute she had died.

I was heartbroken
and I think I know how you feel today.

Binky free little Binx

"Hugs"

Maureen

 

[CKGS]

Thank everyone so much. I am sorry I am not responding to each reply but am sort of not here today it seems.
Maureen, Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has helped because I felt for you as I was reading it and thought about how much that must have hurt you and the fact that I saw it as an accident... But I hadn't really seen Binx's passing as such today. I realized that is how I have to look at this too and I have to forgive myself too. This will be alot harder than it sounds I know... I miss him so.

 

[Maureen Las]

CKGS wrote:

Thank everyone so much. I am sorry I am not responding to each reply but am sort of not here today it seems.
Maureen, Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has helped because I felt for you as I was reading it and thought about how much that must have hurt you and the fact that I saw it as an accident... But I hadn't really seen Binx's passing as such today. I realized that is how I have to look at this too and I have to forgive myself too. This will be alot harder than it sounds I know... I miss him so.

I never thought of it as an accident ; I still blame myself for it today and I think it was far worse than what happened with Binxbecause I consciously realized that it could lead to an accident and because of my mental state I let it go and Lucy paid the ultimate price.

You didn't consciously think that Binxmight jump so there was no thought involved; that WAS an accident .
To be honest I felt so terrible at the time I almost could not live within my own skin..just unbearable ..esp becauses she was so young and frisky and I really really loved her.

I did learn a couple lessons.

First of all I was worrying about a relationship that I was in with a not very nice person and I realized that my thoughtless behavior resulted from my worrying over someone who was not even worth my time and the guinea pig paid. I was able to end that relationship because I mentally associated Lucy's death with him .

and I also learnd that anything related to an animal that I think could bea danger could never be let go ..no matter what

and yet I have done things again that were not right( but nothing terrible happened)
soI guess that we are all human...

I am very sorry about Binx and once again know how you feel...

Hugs
Maureen

 

[CKGS]

Maureen, I think maybe, just maybe, they were both horrible accidents. I left him on top of a cage up high. I know this is unsafe. I knew it as soon as I saw him jump. I never leave Abby unattended like that. My mind, too, was elsewhere and I even thought as I stepped away of putting him on the floor... but I didn't. My carelessness cost him dearly, just as your piggie paid the price. Forgive yourself... Because if you say my loss of Binx was an accident then so was yours...

 

[Maureen Las]

You're right they are accidents ...

Lucy died almost 15 yrs ago ; it is easier to blame oneself than to just accept that they are gone :cry1:

 

[CKGS]

((((((Maureen)))))) I know. It is easier for us. When I put my German Shepherd to sleep I knew it was right but there was a part of me that questioned myself. What right did I have to play God? Was it really the right time? Would she have felt better tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?? In the end the only thing that mattered was that I had done the best I could for her with what information I had at the time. I still question myself at times because it hurt me so badly, she was my heart. But in the end I know I did the best thing for her. Now she feels no pain ever again.
Every death I've lived through has each had it's own 'uniqueness'. I don't want to say specialness because most deaths aren't pleasant memories. I think the thing that makes these deaths so hard is knowing that it could have been prevented... I gave myself a lesson today, a very painful one but a lesson nonetheless. I will always remember this and this incident will make me a better pet owner I think... as bad as that is. I just hate that he had to pay.

 

[tonyshuman]

Well, if it makes you feel better, learning about this will make me be more careful myself, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been impacted by it in this way. It is a sad death, but some good can come out of it in terms of educating others that even with the best intentions, mistakes happen, including ones that can be devastating.