I'm really starting to dislike the male gender...

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ThatsMySimi

ThatsMySimi

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, New Brunswick, Canada
Okay, so it's pretty bad. I'm 15, and already sick of the male gender...

What would you do if someone said for you to "move on" because he wasn't good enough for you because he messed everything up in his life?

I had it happen awhile ago, and all it did was make me mad... I, personally, wouldn't want someone to tell me that ever again... Am I over reacting by thinking it's kind of like him deciding it, and not giving me a choice in the matter?

Small rant, I suppose... What do you guys think?
 
In my opinion (such as it is) - it takes two people to be in a healthy relationship - two people who WANT to be together.

If one wants out - for whatever reason - its hard to then have a real relationship 'cause they're not really "there"......

Then again - what do I know? I've only been married almost 29 years to the only guy I ever dated or kissed.....

so it isn't like I have a lot of dating history to share...


 
He and I wern't even dating, and the background on it is, his dad didn't like my dad, and therefore didn't like me. I assume, things would have been too hard to work out between us, so he kinda "gave up"...

*shrugs* It just really ticked me off.

Along with the "I'm not good enough for you" there was a "I'm not the type of guy you're looking for, anyway" added, and that bothered me aswell. If he wasn't the type of person I was looking for, I wouldn't have been intrested, you know what I mean?

If I was to say who this guy is, I'd probably get a lot of "Told ya so!"s from the forum!
 
My two cents, for whatever it's worth...

I totally agree with Peg, in that it takes two people to make a relationship, be it romantic, friendship, or any other. If one no longer wants to continue it, then there's not much the other can do. I suspect part of the reason this might be particularly upsetting to you is because you really didn't have any choice in the matter, but the way he presented it to you was as if he was telling you what is and isn't good for you. If he had said something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, but I just can't continue with this" and gave you a reason why he couldn't, as opposed to attempting to tell you your own feelings and wants, then you'd still be upset, but at least you wouldn't be left with the feeling that he made up your mind for you, kind of thing.

My guess is that he was either trying to spare hurting your feelings, or (and this is what it sounds like)...he truly is very hard on himself and has a very low self-esteem. It's possible too, that he could be choosing to punish himself by pushing you away. Unfortunately if someone is angry or upset with themselves, or just judges themselves as not worthy enough, there isn't a lot you can do for them.

Afraid I don't have a lot of relationship experience to pull upon either, but just from what you wrote, that's the impression I got.

:hug: to you for being hurt...it's never easy when it happens...
 
Must say, I've known him a long time, and he has always been really hard on himself when it involved me. He did something I didn't like, and it takes him about a month to "forgive" himself, even though I forgive him after the first "Shay, I'm really sorry." *shrugs*

It's a long and confusing story, and right now, I'm just sitting back and waiting for things to be semi-normal again... When school starts, things will be normal... I hope.
 
Don't take this wrong... I am gonna tell you like I tell my 15 year old. I highly doubt the other party is sittin around losin sleep over what they said to you.. soooooooo

STOP LETTING HIM INHABIT VALUABLE BRAIN SPACE!

At 15, there's to much life ahead of you to start worryin about the male head games now..

I am sorry your getting jerked around.. makes your heart hurt alot.. but in the grand scheme of life... when you've found the one... all of this was just a learning experience leading up to *the one*

 
GoinBackToCali wrote:
Don't take this wrong... I am gonna tell you like I tell my 15 year old. I highly doubt the other party is sittin around losin sleep over what they said to you.. soooooooo

STOP LETTING HIM INHABIT VALUABLE BRAIN SPACE!
Click to expand...

Oh! I'm not losing sleep over him. Sleep is very important right now, infact, the only time I can relax...

The hard part is that he's my best friend. And I mean that, I've known him since we started school at 5 years old.Now, since the whole I like you - you like me thing started, it was all good until the moving on thing was supposed to happen, then he got awkward, even thought it was me who was told was too good for him.I still talk to him like normal, like before all of this.


 
this sounds a little like my ex boyfriend.

he had family issues, and was always saying his life was screwed up and yada yada. we did go out for 7 months, but it was really draining having to keep him out of is ruts. NOT WORTH YOUR ENERGY!!

now, he is a total butthead, and we are not even friends cause he just out of nowhere decided to totally ignore me.

losing friends is tuff, i know. BUT, a new school year is comming up (argg) and you will have a chance to meet new people.
 
He doesn't usually say that he's messed up, or that he's having troubles, because honestly, I don't think he does have many family issues, only when it comes to me.

I know I sound like I'm standing up for him, but I still really like him. He doesn't want me to, but I do.I mean, he has liked me for the last 3 years, or so he says, and in that time, he has asked me out for at least 2 of his close friends, both guys he knew I liked. (I told them no, don't know why, but both of them, I told no.) He has always been the "protector", know what I mean? If a person was bothering me, or anything, he was always there "Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?" He knows all my problems, all my faults, and still likes me... *shrugs*

When he told me to move on, he said he still liked me, just didn't think he was good enough (rolls eyes), I just don't know.

This has been going on since... April, early-April, late March. And I still can't get over him, so I'm just confused about everything, know what I mean?
 
Ah, I've been where your at and as many have said - the place and time you are in life at the moment SO many things and people will change-progress-revert many times over the next few months and years.. So do not think what happens is written in stone, sometimes you will just need to let things work themselves out.

Just keep remembering to "go forward" and try not to get stuck on any one thing. sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders though and are handling things fine.


 
k. I'm 18 and let me tell ya, it seems like the end of the world when relationships don't work out. But trust me. It isn't. And what are the chances that THIS guy was the one you were supposed to marry? Slim to none. And it took me a long time to get over my crush at your age. But you eventually do. Maybe you need a new crush to get over this one. Anyway. I say just 'move on' like he said. Its hard, but someday you'll find 'the one' and look back to where you are now and laugh about how silly it was. Just like I do now and i'm really not that much older. So, goodluck, and keep in mind that you still have 70 more years to live and that you shouldn't dwell on something when your young.

:)
 
I have to say I pretty much agree with everyone else, but then what do I know? I've never been in a relationship (and I don't think I will because, I agree, most men... well 17 year old hormonal boys only want to go out with beuatiful skinny blondes.... my Mum said to me the other day 'Why don't you have a boyfriend?' She said even she had a boyfriend at my age, and I think she was probably rather on the chubby side and smelt of horse wee.

Fran :) :hearts :brownbunny
 
Oh, I know he probably wasn't the "one" for me, but the fact that he's my best friend, and I can't talk to him because of his dumb father is what bothers me... I suppose it'll all work out as it's ment to. Everything happens for areason.
 
Well, I still talk to him, but he's awkward about the whole thing, you know... I'm fine, good and dandy with being friends. I'd rather have him as a friend than as nothing at all... :)

We're 15, I didn't expect him to do a whole lot to work around his dad. :p
 
Well. Its good your friends but sucky he's awkward. I've had friends that left because my parents didn't like theirs. It's a pain. So, sorry you have to deal with that now. Just try and enjoy your summer and do a couple "girls nights" and you'll feel better. lol. I've had plenty of those.
 
I suppose some girl nights would be good... I'll have to round up my VERY FEW girl friends. :p I've always been "one of the guys"... That is until one of the guys decide he liked me, then it all went to hell. Pardon my language.

I assume he'll be better once we're in school, and have classes together and such. He can't be awkward if we're going to have at least 3 classes together!
 
haha. ur like me! I was always with the guys. Theres just less drama and petty arguments. I would take out a few realllly sad movies. Titanic and the notebook are classics. lol. And nice tub of ice cream, frosting, or brownies. Couple 2 liter sodas and milk if u got the brownies and call it a night. Trust me. It works wonders. I'd start off feeling bad, but by the end "hey! It could be sooo much worse! At least im having fun now." I should do onea those again for memory's sake. I havent in agggges. hahaha.
 
Gag. I was talking to him yesterday, which schoked me in itself, and he was being a dink. I was NOT a happy camper when I was done talking to him... He's so da*n inmature! *shakes head* Guys.

Friday will be a girls night/day. I'm going to hang out with a friend of mine - one of my only gal friends. We probably wont do the sappy love movies, probably scary movies! :p That's just how we are though.
 
Aw. Thats disappointing that he was soo immature. I'm dealing with my boyfriend right now being immature too and its a pain. And hey! Whatever you guys like. Personally, I cant watch scary movies. I always end up leaving the room and watching from around the corner. I'm just THAT brave. lol
 
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