I wanna be a groupie!

[Aina]

Ok, so a few months ago I liked a guy for a while and although we didn’t really do anything aside from talk a bit, he brought me out of my shell a little into actually wanting to do stuff with people instead of just being an observer. My best friend lives a ways away and she doesn’t go to the same college as I do and I want some people here that I can be friends with.

There is a certain group that I want to belong to. They are all really nice and don’t seem to purposely exclude people, they just don’t notice other people much. But they do more than other groups at church do. Some of them will actually say hi. Plus there is a certain guy that I want to be friends with because I like being around him, he has a good spirit, so I want to be able to hang out with him more. (It's *not* a crush, I swear!... What is your definition of *crush?* )

Really though, for the past few years, ever since we left a small church where everyone was like family, I have pretty much scoffed Christian fellowship, but now I just really need it. I have been able to go two years of college "on my own" so to speak, but I am tired of it! I have some good friends that aren't in my stage of life, but I need some who are.

Anyways considering I was a total recluse in highschool and pretty much hung out in a corner of the youth room and didn’t talk to anyone, it has been a process. I have written before about how I hated to go to church because I got really uncomfortable, well now I am better, thanks to that guy. But he goes to a different church now.

I have finally gotten to where I am pretty good at small talk with people if I can get them one on one, and everyone would probably say “oh, she is a nice girl” but like today in Sunday school there were probably 80 people there and it was crowded and I got really nervous.

So anyway, some people like come and are immediately in “the group” so to speak, and then others languish on the sidelines forever. It happens here just like everywhere else though generally the people here are really nice anyways. How do you get in “the group” Is it just starting to hang around them and talk sometimes. Be a groupie? lol. I don’t want to come across as strange or needy, lol, but I do want to hang out with these people. So that is my dilemma. Cookies if you read this far and ice cream if you can help!

 

[Becca]

Yay I get cookies

LOL Seriously, I think you should just go over and talk to them
Maybe because you don't want to sound 'needy' go over and give a compliment. Like 'I like your shoes/dress/shirt' whatever. Thats how I meet people on holiday!

Then get the conversation going after that
They'll love you in no time Then you can get closer to that guy you DON'T have a *crush* on

Do I get ice cream to?

LOL good Luck

 

[degrassi]

Recently most of my friends have either moved away or have gone away to school. So I'm been on the search for some new friends too. I've found that you really have to put yourself out there and be the one to make the first move. Most people are just as shy about making new friends and its hard to get it to go from just small talk to actually being friends.

Its hard but you have to work past the shy thing. Most people arne't going to go up to a loner looking person in the corner. Go up to them and make conversation. Then ask them for their email or something, so you can take it past the "small talk stage"(I sometimes find it easier to chat with new people online first for a bit).Then when you get to this stage, invite them out to do something. Don't wait around for them to ask you, be proactive.

It can be especially hard if its a group of kids that are already really close. I find it easier if you can get them one on one,then meet that person and they will introduce you to the group.

Put your best face forward and be friendly. Dont' be shy and try not to be awkward. It takes practice but it gets easier. Usually its scarier thinking about it then actually doing it. If after all that they think you are nerdy, then you probably didn't want them to be your friends anyways.

Joins some clubs, or try to meet people at school too.

 

[Aina]

Becca: Yes, you can have ice cream too! Thanks for the advice.

degrassi: Thank you for some advice too. Yeah, I am trying to get out of the whole loner thing. These people actually do come up and talk to me sometimes, and they always say hi, so hopefully it will be easier. I've known most of them for around 2 years and we have done a lot of the same things, like we go to the same church and stuff. But I have always been in my own little world.