Sealy
Well-Known Member
I normally don't air my dirty laundry in public but I feel the need of support of people who loves their pets as much as I do.
A little history:
I've been dating this guy off and on for about 2 1/2 yrs ( he lives out of state). I do care a great deal about him but he has now put me in an ugly predicament.
Last year, we were engaged and he broke it off about 2 weeks before the wedding. So now, a year later, we have been trying to rekindle.
At that time I had my 3 dogs ( the Cocker Spaniel, and both Great Danes). We lived seperately then so it wasn't a major issue, even though we discussed having them all when we finally moved in together....he was fine with it. He loved the dogs.
Since we have broken up, my younger Dane is living with a friend of mine with a larger , fenced in yard ( I am still co-owner though and still work with her on her obedience training) and I now have my mother's bunny ( Bonny) and have aquired 6 more ( more than likely to fill the void of not having much family... son is grown,married and living out of state; daughters live out of state w/ their dad).
My pets are my focus, my life, ....my 'children'. The Buns are what helped me work through the break up...and still do. If I feel sad, I just go hug a bunny
We have been talking again...dating I guess you could say, still long distance and he has planned to come here on his vacation and keep moving forward in the relationship.
However, he made the statement that he is now at a point in his life where if he wants to pick up and go, ( I can understand this since I have gotten older and no children at home) he can do so without having to worry about making arrangements for pets... having no responsibility. I asked him then, how does he feel about me having all of my pets. He said he wasn't crazy about so many but he was ok with it. Well, he made the statement again in a later conversation and I told him it worried me that he kept saying this , that maybe he wasn't really ok with my pets.
That's when the truth came out. He said no, he really isn't ok with me having 900 different animals ( me- eye roll) . That he loved Simon ( the Cocker) and was ok with just him. So I tried to make him say clearly what it was exactly he was trying to say... that in order for us to get more involved, that I would have to have no other pets than Simon? He said to read between the lines but he wouldn't come right out and say ' yes, you have to get rid of everything else' because he didn't want to hurt my feelings :?
I told him my pets and I are a package deal. Period. From past conversations and I emphasised again how I am when it comes to pets and responsible pet ownership and that if it really came down to choosing between him and my pets, I would choose my pets. I have always been and still am very clear about this.
To me, someone who makes you choose between them and a pet is also going to make you choose between them and friends, family or whatever else they may feel is a threat to them.
He says we'll just keep talking and dating and see how it goes. I don;'t know if he thinks that I will change my mind or not, but I won't, under any circumstances and really, he should know this about me. And if he gives in and makes the choice to accept them, I'm afraid it will be a bone of contention and he will resent me and them.
So I dunno. I feel angry and sad over the whole thing and part of me wants to keep going and see how it goes and part of me says to stop it all now, and save myself some even worse heartache later down the road, as I know this would be the healthiest thing to do. Meh.
Anyways, thanks for letting me vent it all out
~Sealy
A little history:
I've been dating this guy off and on for about 2 1/2 yrs ( he lives out of state). I do care a great deal about him but he has now put me in an ugly predicament.
Last year, we were engaged and he broke it off about 2 weeks before the wedding. So now, a year later, we have been trying to rekindle.
At that time I had my 3 dogs ( the Cocker Spaniel, and both Great Danes). We lived seperately then so it wasn't a major issue, even though we discussed having them all when we finally moved in together....he was fine with it. He loved the dogs.
Since we have broken up, my younger Dane is living with a friend of mine with a larger , fenced in yard ( I am still co-owner though and still work with her on her obedience training) and I now have my mother's bunny ( Bonny) and have aquired 6 more ( more than likely to fill the void of not having much family... son is grown,married and living out of state; daughters live out of state w/ their dad).
My pets are my focus, my life, ....my 'children'. The Buns are what helped me work through the break up...and still do. If I feel sad, I just go hug a bunny
We have been talking again...dating I guess you could say, still long distance and he has planned to come here on his vacation and keep moving forward in the relationship.
However, he made the statement that he is now at a point in his life where if he wants to pick up and go, ( I can understand this since I have gotten older and no children at home) he can do so without having to worry about making arrangements for pets... having no responsibility. I asked him then, how does he feel about me having all of my pets. He said he wasn't crazy about so many but he was ok with it. Well, he made the statement again in a later conversation and I told him it worried me that he kept saying this , that maybe he wasn't really ok with my pets.
That's when the truth came out. He said no, he really isn't ok with me having 900 different animals ( me- eye roll) . That he loved Simon ( the Cocker) and was ok with just him. So I tried to make him say clearly what it was exactly he was trying to say... that in order for us to get more involved, that I would have to have no other pets than Simon? He said to read between the lines but he wouldn't come right out and say ' yes, you have to get rid of everything else' because he didn't want to hurt my feelings :?
I told him my pets and I are a package deal. Period. From past conversations and I emphasised again how I am when it comes to pets and responsible pet ownership and that if it really came down to choosing between him and my pets, I would choose my pets. I have always been and still am very clear about this.
To me, someone who makes you choose between them and a pet is also going to make you choose between them and friends, family or whatever else they may feel is a threat to them.
He says we'll just keep talking and dating and see how it goes. I don;'t know if he thinks that I will change my mind or not, but I won't, under any circumstances and really, he should know this about me. And if he gives in and makes the choice to accept them, I'm afraid it will be a bone of contention and he will resent me and them.
So I dunno. I feel angry and sad over the whole thing and part of me wants to keep going and see how it goes and part of me says to stop it all now, and save myself some even worse heartache later down the road, as I know this would be the healthiest thing to do. Meh.
Anyways, thanks for letting me vent it all out
~Sealy
