I need some advice

Shop deals on ebay
shop deals on amazon
Love your rabbit
Advertise with us
Rabbits Online Forum

Help Support Rabbits Online Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
bat42072

bat42072

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2007
Messages
1,045
Reaction score
0
Location
southeast texas., Texas, USA
My 17 year old texted me that she needed a pregnancy test and to please not tell her father... I told her i wouldn't tell him that i would wait until we take the test and find out if she is first... I feel like I should tell her father because I hate keeping things from him but if I tell him I break the trust between my daughter and myself... I need help in deciding what to do...I bought her a test and she will take it in the morning before her father gets home for thanksgiving... He is going to be so upset if she is... she is a daddys girl... we can also use some prayers that she is not pregnant... she is so not ready to be a mom and an abortion is way out of the question... I feel bad because she didn't want to go to school today and Imade her go... now I know why... Its really sad because her friend just had a baby last friday...She was only 16... I tied to talk to her about sex and why she should wait and other stuff that goes with it... but i guess it went in one ear and out the other.
 
Aw, what a stressful time for you both.

Hopefully its a false alarm and a wake up call.

If she is pregnant, there is an option to have the baby adopted as well, don't forget, as well as keeping and aborting.

If you promised her you wouldn't say, then you shouldn't say, but you can encourage her to tell him. On the other hand though, he dosn't need to know unless she is pregnant, and maybe this is a mother-daughter thing.

The sooner she takes the test the better really.
 
Keep your trust with your daughter since you gave her your word. If the test turns out positive, arrange a time to sit down with your DH and talk to him. Let him absorb it a bit and then all 3 of you talk. I am glad you would be supporting your daughter in her time of need. So many parents turn their back.
 
I don't know how long it's been since she had intercourse, but the Morning After Pill (MAP pill) works in the 72 hours (and a bit after) after intercourse. Your local health clinic may be able to help.
Do 3 pregnancy tests. One may be flawed.

IMO, Dad doesn't need to know unless she is pregnant.

On a very personal level, my mom had an abortion when she was about 18. She maintains that she would have never gone to college, university, met my father, or have had us if she didn't have the choice for an abortion. I'm sure nobody wants their daughter to have to go through an abortion, but I would hope that my mom would leave it up to me to choose. At this early stage, you are only looking at sperm and egg cells to be removed.

My prayers for her not to be pregnant.
If she is, make sure she knows exactly who the dad is (sometimes hard if you've just left a relationship, and started a new one...). It'll be necessary if she chooses to keep the baby.

ETA: really sorry if this sounds brisk... It's the conglomerate of about 4 friends situations in the past 2 years, so I'm trying to cover the things they never thought of themselves...:hug:
 
I apriciate everyones advice... the only reason I said abortion is out is because my daughter doesn't beleive in them. If she is and she wants to go to college i will help her as much as i possibley can. and we definately know who the father is she has been dating him for 6 months. I also think it is too late for the morning after pill... it didn't dawn on me that she didn't use her tampons that i bought her last month when i borrowed some from her...Dont know why it didn't dawn on me... and she is over due this month... its hard to keep up with 4 peoples cycles in this house.
 
Personally I would not tell her father, simply because she has asked you not to. If she is pregnant I would speak to her about telling her father, and how to do it, but I would not do it for her, because she trusted you and like you said it could break the bond between you and her.

Also, its brilliant that she trusts you enough to tell you. I'm 17, and if I became pregnant I would NEVER tell my Mum... never... ever... ever. And if I couldn't have an abortion I'd probably run away.....

Hope everything turns out how you want :hearts

Fran :) :hearts :brownbunny
 
Firstly, what a wonderful parent you are :hug:. You're showing so much support to your daughter when your insides must be feeling like jelly right now.

I think I too would keep it from her dad just now, if she is pregnant, there is plenty of time to tell him.

My mum got pregnant with me when she was 17 and she was a wonderful mum, everything turned out fine, and I'm alive and happy. It didn't wreck her life, she says that even though she was so young and scared and didn't like babies or children, that I was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to her.

At this early stage, if she is pregnant, there is plenty of time for her to plan her future with regards to education etc. She can probably do college by corrospondance, if that is available in your area.

All hope is not lost! And just think, a grandchild to snuggle :tongue.
 
You sound like a great mum, and like everyone else Is saying I wouldn't tell your husband unless shes pregnant. One of my best friends just had a baby a wee bit over a week ago, and even though it's only been a week you can see shes a great mum shes 16. My friend Eliza had a baby 2months ago and is going to university, if your daughter is pregnant encourage her that she can achieve anything she wants, she can still go to college, yes it will be harder but she can do it. And it's great that you will always support her:bunnyhug:
 
First of all, you're very lucky to have a daughter who had the courage to come to you when she needed and she's very lucky to have a mother she could go to. That is the most important thing. Of course, you are put in a tough position, but if you'd tell your husband, you'd be hurting that bond with your daughter and right now, you are the most important person in her life and there is no one else who can understand her the way you can.

I would probably encourage her totell her father at some pointin the future. Even if she isn't pregnant, she might want to tell him, just out of respect, just to say, look I did this, I told mom, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, etc. but just encourage her to do it on her terms and be there with her if she feels more comfortable with you there.

I pray that whatever happens, a wise decision will follow. It is my personal belief, that when these things happen, there is always a solution. It doesn't have to be tragic. There are so many options out there, and though not easy, if she were pregnant, I'm sure she would find her way eventually.

Prayers for you and yours :rose:

 
m also going to schedule a doctors appointment for her to get on birth control and to make sure everything is ok.

thanks to all of your advice I decided not to tell her father... I have always told my girls they can come to me or their dad if they ever got into any trouble... I want them to be able to come to me and not do like so many girls have done (hiding pregnancy and having babies and leaving them in dumpsters or such)...

She told her boyfriend and maybe this scared them enough. He is 18 . He is usually a responsible guy. he is out of school and he works to jobs. next time he comes over I am going to have a talk with them both. He was so scared about having to tell my husband... I think hubby would have handle it better than we think. I know he would have been heart broken but I also think he would have helped them all he could. my daughter is usually closer to her dad then me. so I feel blessed that she came to me about it. her cousin thought she was pregnant once and she couldn't go to her parents about it so she came to me. I helped her.

Thank you for everyones support. you all were very supportive as for i had no one else that i could have went to for advice. again thank you
 
IMO, I think the jab, or Depoprovera is one of the best drugs out there for birth control. I get shot every 12 weeks, and it is great for me, as I doubt I would remember to take the birthcontrol pill every morning. This is my 9th year on it, and I get my annual bone scans to make sure everything is A-OK.

Another one is the one that is embedded into the arm. Also good for those of us with short-term memory loss ;)


 
Girls these days are not seeing the whole picture and so many are getting pregnant! I sure hope and pray she's not!
 
It is scarey I know there is at least two girls at her school who are pregnant and her friend who used to live with us just had a baby last friday.
 
I think you did the right thing. You are a great mom. I have the same relationship with my mom. I have always been able to tell her everything and now, my boys confide in me the same way. I know this is a hard situation, I've been there. I had my first when I was 16. However, it didn't stop me from pursuing my dreams. I went on to college and to own my house. The great thing for me is that they are right there beside me to share in all of my triumphs. They seem to have pushed me more and given me more drive and determination.

I wish you and your family the best no matter the outcome. :hug:
 
its negative ... if she doesn't start in a few days we will do another one. Her doctor is out of town but when he gets back I am taking her in to be checked out
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top