I need Help

[stephiemarie78]

Hey guys, Just found out a few days ago my Dad has stage III esophageal cancer. I don't know if its spread we are sill waiting for that test to come back.

I'm in Florida and he's in Indiana. I'm really torn on should I try and move home or stay. I live with my boyfriend currently. My sister is the only one here with me in Florida. She doesn't know what to do either. My boyfriend thinks I'm just being emotional he doesn't think I need to go blah blah lol. He said he wouldn't up and leave me if his mom was sick. But How does he know he's not in my situation.

I have so many different emotions going on right now. I really don't know what to do or feel for that matter. I'm a ticking time bomb! :nerves1

 

[myLoki]

Wow! That is really tough. I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.


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[SnowyShiloh]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. How serious is esophageal cancer? I can't blame you for wanting to move back home. Does your father have anyone there to take care of him? What would your boyfriend be leaving behind if he went with you? How long would you expect to be in Indiana? I think you should travel to Indiana to spend a week with your dad before making any decisions.

 

[Flashy]

I'm so sorry. What a difficult decision and place to be in.

It sounds like in your heart you want to go back but feel obliged to stay for your boyfriend?

I think you need to decide what to do based on gut instinct. If you go and visit him you could stay for as short or long as you like but seeing him might help you in a good few ways.

If you need to talk or anything, feel free to PM or msn me.

 

[Pipp]

I don't think you have to make this decision very soon at all. I do think you need to go home for a nice visit, though. You'll get your cues from that.

So sorry you're going through this. Having a sick parent sucks.


sas ink iris:

 

[jordiwes]

Hmmm.... how could you not be emotional? I would be a wreck and I'm not a completely "emotional" person.

I would go.

 

[SweetSassy]

I would go for a visit. And do what your heart tells you. It's your dad. If you don't go, then you may feel guilty down the road. Don't listen to anyone but yourself. Your boyfriend should support whatever decision you make. ray:

 

[pla725]

I would go for a visit as well. Also you can find out if he has any arrangements for care. You can see if he qualifies for any programs that would provide home care or see if wants Hospice.

 

[stephiemarie78]

My dad has my stepmom to take care of him. I think I'm going to work some OT an fly up for a weekend. I dnt have vacation time till next year. But I get 4 days off for christmas an thanksgiving.

 

[Flashy]

You just have to do what feels right for you, and if that works for you then that's great

 

[kirst3buns]

I agree with many that say you have to do what feels right for you AND what your dad wants too. My mother was very insistent that we NOT uproot our lives to be by her daily but my sister and I were able to visit more frequently as we live about a 4 hour drive away. I think that you will know more once he has found out his treatment options, his course of treatment, what they expect from the treatment, etc. so you may want to schedule your trip home after he has more information and perhaps a better idea of what he's going to be going through and what you can do. You may want to talk to your stepmother too to see what she thinks.

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

I agree with the others. See how you feel after you've visited. I was lucky enough to be in the same town when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Talk to your dad and your step-mom, too, and see what would work for them. It may be that you'll be needed on a more long-term basis as time goes on. I also agree that your bf should support your decision. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being emotional about this very difficult news, imho. My prayers will be with you and your family.

 

[SunnyCait]

I would go.

I've seen it in action, both in my personal life and at work. I don't want to give you a bunch of facts that you probably already know about the disease, but esophageal cancer is... it's fast, and at stage three... I don't want to scare you or sound so negative, but go home. If the boyfriend doesn't understand, so what. You need to go home and be with your dad. I wish you were closer to him, then it wouldn't be so hard. Florida to Illinois is a bit of a distance. I wish you luck and I'm praying for your dad and your family. *hugs*

 

[MyLOVEABLES!!]

I would go home to your dad.
Your dad is well your dad. Your boyfriend should support you. Least you can do is visit. I'm sorry you're in this position.

 

[maherwoman]

I agree about going home to spend time with your dad ... I would definitely go. And ya know what? Your boyfriend will just have to understand ... and if he doesn't, he's not worth it. He should be supportive of you right now, and he's really not doing that. Shame on him, in my eyes! If something even remotely close were going on like this with my dad, Danny wouldn't hesitate to beg or borrow to get money to send me down, even alone if necessary, and take care of Em for me while I'm down spending time with my dad (though I know my dad would want Danny and Em there, so they would come with ... but that's beside the point, lol). Danny wouldn't bat an eyelash ... and that's the way it SHOULD be!

(((HUGS)))