I just want it to stop!!!!

[audrinasmommy88]

thanks katie. I havent had any contact with my mother. She has people call my husbands phone but he just doesnt answer calls from numbers he doesnt know anymore. Sometimes they leave a message and sometimes they. Im definitely going to look into it tho

 

[ams1786]

Just my two cents...I know you must be miserable right now, and it's understandable that you don't want someone who threatened your life around your daughter. But re: the letters, I think it sounds like you know from experience no matter how bad a parent's made out to be, a child still has an innate desire to know them and will find a way. If you try to cut off all contact, your daughter could resent that when she's older, no matter how illogical. Again, just an idea, but I think you should save the letters in some forgotten corner or even give them to your lawyer to hold and them when she's 18, or younger if she's mature. You can then sit her down, explain why she doesn't have contact with her biological father and that he was a threat to her safety, and then show her the letters and say you trust her judgement to do what them as she sees fit. That's assuming, of course, the letters are appropriate. It seems you regret not believing your dad about your mom, but when a kid's told not to do something they're gonna do it. If you treat her like an adult and let her make her own judgement, it's much more likely that she'll trust your opinion of him and not think you're trying to hide something, run off and get in a position like you had to deal with your mom. Might be the best way to protect her.

Again, just my two cents after stumbling accross this thread. Hope I didn't say anything wrong! Best of luck.

 

[MiniLopHop]

:hug1I'm so sorry you have to deal with these people. It must be horribly stressful and you don't need that in your life. It's good you are cutting them out of your life and raising above it all. Sometimes family is not the blood you came from, but the wonderful people who you find in life that support and love you.

My biological family is toxic and I really restrict contact to what is safe for me. My husband's family embraced me and now I feel much closer to them than anyone in my biological family. Just because this "man" was a sperm donor does not make him a father, by a long shot. Your husband is obviously her father in every way that matters. You are raising her right and when she's older I'm sure she will be able to appreciate everything you have done to protect her. Hang in there.

 

[Nancy McClelland]

Why we moved 800 miles away--hate my family mostly because the only time I ever heard from them is when they wanted money--notice I didn't say "borrow" because that would mean they would pay it back. My mom died in March two years ago and I didn't find out till the end of June--my sister had finally finished going thru all the posessions and sold off everything, even though I was supposed to be the executor. Best if you could move and not leave any forwarding instructions--lot of work to contact everyone, but, well worth it.

 

[holtzchick]

Yes I do agree.

My boyfriends father left him and his mother when he was 8 and then his mom met and fell in love with his now step dad. His step dad is the sweetest man in the world and continues to care for him like his own child to this day. Even though he does still have contact with his dad (sadly) he will still call him by his step dads name and you can just see the look on his dads face as he says it.

Sometimes people don't change or may change with age and wisdom gained along the way. Perhaps a ten year sentence will teach that sore loser about the finer things in life such as love family and stability, but maybe not. Best thing is really to move and cut off all contact at least while Audrina is still young and will not remember. I know you have so many things going on in your life right now. It's really a stretch to say but we are all here for you for emotional support and you ve got your husband as well. Best of luck in whatever you chose to do!

 

[agnesthelion]

just so you all know, the McDonalds egg nog milk shake is AMAZING!!!

I keep wanting to try that!

 

[audrinasmommy88]

Thanks everyone for all of the advice. I feel that what I am doing with this situation is truly the best for audrina. He is nothing but a liar, and thats all he's ever been. He's a 3 time convicted felon. Chances are more than good that he is going to spend his life in and out of jail. thats all he has done with his life thus far. He's going to be almost 40 when he gets out this time. I dont think that it is good for audrina to deal with that disappointment and having him in and out of her life. When she is old enough to understand, I fully intend on telling her about him and letting her make her decision from there. But you can bet your life, if she decides to ever see him, she will NEVER be alone with him. When she makes it to adulthood, I have no say, but before then, I will not allow her to be with him unsupervised. He can not be trusted. I dont want him introducing her to the world he was involved in. I will never keep this from her, she has the right to know. Me and my husband have always agreed on that because we dont want to keep anything from her. But, I will not tell her until she is at an age where she can fully grasp the severity of the situation.

 

[LakeCondo]

I think it will be easier to refuse any further mail, now you've done it once. But I think it's worth trying to get the prison to block mail to your address.