Funny poem

[nangobi]

[align=left]I loved the sad poem that Emma Lposted - just couldn't think of one to add - only this one kept comingup in my mind - so thought I'd share. I learnt it when I was about 8 or9, I think. Recited it at a Sunday School Anniversary infront of all the congregation - the minister couldn't speakfor laughing afterwards.[/align]
[align=center]Measles they are horrid, and mumps are rather bad[/align]
[align=center]Scarlet fever's dreadful, but toothache drives you mad[/align]
[align=center]It takes you and it shakes you, your face is twice the size[/align]
[align=center]Your cheek's around the corner, and you haven't any eyes.[/align]
[align=center]If I were only clever, I'd go and pull it out[/align]
[align=center]I'd put it on the table and turn it round about[/align]
[align=center]I'd cover it in toffee and sticky currant cake[/align]
[align=center]And then, for twenty hours, I'd sit and watch it ache.[/align]

 

[Emma.L]

thanx! i no, sad poems are so hard to find! i remeber THIS poem from when i was tiny



I eat my peas with honey

ive done it all my life

it makes the peas taste funny

but it keeps them on the knife

 

[nangobi]

ha! Ha! Like that one. Funnywhat sticks in your mind, isn't it? I don't seem to remembermuch of my childhood but that poem I can remember like it was yesterday.

 

[Bassetluv]

LOL! I've never heard either of those before.

I can't think of a silly poem, but I recall a silly song that used toplay on the radio back when I was a kid. Here's the lyrics:

MY BOOMERANG WON'T COME BACK

Charlie Drake - 1961

(Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)

In the bad backlands of Australia
Many years ago,
The aborigine tribes were meeting,
Having a big pow-wow.
(Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)
"We got a lot of trouble, Chief,
On account of your son Mack."
"My boy Mack? Why, what's wrong with him?"
DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back.
"Your boomerang won't come back?"

DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back,
My boomerang won't come back,
I've waved the thing all over the place,
Practised till I was black in the face,
I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.

DRAKE: I can ride a kangaroo (yeah yeah)
Make kinkajou stew (yeah yeah)
But I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.

They banished him from the tribe then
And sent him on his way,
He had a backless boomerang
So here he could not stay.

(Animal noises)

DRAKE: [Spoken] This is nice, innit? Getting banished at my time oflife. What a way to spend an evening: sitting on a rock in the middleof the desert with me boomerang in me hand. I shall very likely getbushwhacked.

(An animal roars; Drake shrieks back.)

DRAKE: Get out of it! You nasty bushwhacking animal. Think I'll make anice cup of tea. (Doing, doing, doing...) Good gracious! There goes akangaroo. I must have a practice with me boomerang: hit him rightbehind the left earhole. Now then, slowly back.

Gruff voice: If you throw that thing at me, I'll jump right on your head. (It chuckles and bounces away.)

DRAKE: Innit marvellous? Got a land full of kangaroos and I had to pick that one.

For three long months he sat there
Or maybe it was four,
Then an old old man in a kangaroo skin
Came a-knocking at his door.

"Well, I'm the local witch doctor, son,
They call me George Alfred Black.
Now tell me, what's your trouble, boy?"
DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back.
"Your boomerang won't come back?"

DRAKE: My boomerang won't come back,
My boomerang won't come back,
I've waved the thing all over the place,
Practised till I was black in the face,
I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.

"Don't worry, boy, I know the trick,
And to you I'm gonna show it.
If you want your boomerang to come back,
Well first you've got to... throw it."

DRAKE: Ooh, yes! Never thought of that. Daddy will be pleased. Must have a go, nyuh-huh! Excuse me.
Now then, slowly back... and throw.

(Boomerang whizzes away; Sounds of a plane approaching and then falling from the sky.)

DRAKE: Ooh my God! I've hit the flying doctor. Eee-hee-hee! Can you do first aid?
Witch Doctor: Don't talk to me about first aid, boy, you owe mefourteen chickens, you know, when I learned you to throw the boomerang,you know, first things first.
DRAKE: Yes, I know that, but I mean, I think on this occasion, you know, you could be a bit more perspective...........