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mygrl2k3

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My son William is ten years old, and begged usfor a pet mouse and he earned money to buy the cage andstuff. He is supose to take care of it himself and i have tonag him to give it fresh water and food and clean out its cage. One dayi said if it didnt have a clean cage by the time i got hom from work itwas going to the adoption table at petco where it came from. I shouldntsay that i know, cause i dont have any plan on actully doing that.

My question is any suggestions on how to make him more responsible fortaking care of it. Cause its in his room i dont always think to checkon it on a daily basis, i check more days than idont. aslo he was supose to do chores around thehouse to care for its needs. It dont cost alot to have it but he reallydont do much around the house. Any ideas on how to get him towant to earn the money to go buy the things he/she needs?

Again i dont have any plans of giving the mouse away, but i know theydont live a long time and i dont want to see its life come to a endsooner cause he dont care for it right, or not be let to get anotherone because lack of care when/ or if he wanted a mouseagain. He does play with it, so its not like itsits in its cage with no attention.

Cristy
 
You are correct, don't threaten to give the mouse away. He wanted it, so it is now his responsibility.

When I was growing up, the animals came first. Until thoseanimals were fed, watered and stalls/cages cleaned in the morning, wedidn't get breakfast.

So, I would require that as soon as he gets out of bed, the pet is tobe cared for (and do check to be certain it's being done).Have everything handy to make the job as easy as possible for cagecleaning.

At 10 years of age, he could do chores for grandparents or family members such as cleaning or helping with yardwork.

Unless it's a special project, I don't pay my kids for helping aroundthe house and doing chores (no allowances in our house and everyonehelps)-- they have to get odd jobs to earn the moneythemselves.

Pam
 
Hi Cristy,

I know what you mean.

I have a 17 and a 12 year old daughters. Along with them we have 5 bunnies, 8 hamsters, and a dog.

Every morning I walk the dog and make sure all the little furries have food and water.

Getting the girls to help can sometimes be very frustrating, especiallywhen they are the ones who are responsible for us having pets in thefirst place.

The 12 year old is some help. She will help each weekend to clean thehamster cages. It's a big job, but I pay her $2 a cage. She can makesome good spending money every week. She also helps walking the dog.

The 17 year old is a teenager. Nuf said? ;)

Jim

 
I love the breakfast idea, Pam. Around here I'dhave to make it dinner, though...both of my children eat breakfast atschool. I'm really looking for some effective chore systemsfor my children. They are now 7 and (almost) 5, and while they have thegeneral chores (bed made, garbage out), I think I want something alittle more organized and orderly. I'd love to hear some ideas.
 
I agree with Pam.Our kids had chores that were required as simply being a part of thefamily. Keeping up their room, making their beds, taking out the trash,helping with household chores, etc. No allowance was paid for doingthose things. They earned money for doing special chores. At one pointwe did try something that worked well for as long as we did it. Weassigned a dollar amount to certain chores and pre-paid the kids at thebeginning of the week. At the end of each day they had to pay us foreach chore they didn't do that day. It was very effective. They don'tlike to turn lose of money that's already in theirpossession!

RaspberrySwirl
 
RaspberrySwirl wrote:
We assigned a dollaramount to certain chores and pre-paid the kids at the beginning of theweek. At the end of each day they had to pay us for each chore theydidn't do that day. It was very effective. They don't like to turn loseof money that's already in their possession!

RaspberrySwirl
Click to expand...


Love it!

Pam
 
Aww, I never got money as a kid. We got paid in food haha okay, I'll explain.

There's 4 of us (well 3 because my older brother didn't do chores lol)

And each of us had a name on a list for each day of the week and therewas a list of chores to do. IF we did all our chores for that day mymom would put a little star sticker on the day. If we got 5 stars (1for each day of the week) then on Friday she would go and buy us chipsand pop and buy a movie for us to watch.

It usually worked, so we always had a fun friday night :)


 
I personally do not think allowances arenecessary. I used to get one when I was young but it was a very smallamount (about $5/month for ice cream or a treat). I have not had anallowance since I was about 7 years old but I help around the houseevery day doing dishes, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming asnecessary, and on top of that I have my rabbits to take care of.Sometimes the cleaning can take up to or over an hour but I do itwithout complaint.

My bunnies always come first however and my parents understand that. Iget up every mooring, hop in the shower, dry my hair, and get ready forschool. Normally I am all ready by 8:00 to go outside and feed andwater the boys and give them a few pats and kisses. Then that leaves metime to come back in, grab a quick something to eat and hop on thecomputer to check posts and the weather report.

After school I clean their cages before I go on to do anything that mymom has asked simply because it gets so dark fast. I always end upfinishing all my chores before my parents get home so everyone's happy.

Although I do not get an allowance for helping out, my parents will payfor me to go with a friend to a movie or pay for some supplies I needfor my rabbits in exchange.

On the other hand, my brother does nothing around the house and thatbugs me a fair bit. He comes home from work (high school drop out) andsits himself in front of the TV to play X-box or goes out with friends.I guess the thing that really bothers me is that he expects me to cleanup after him but I refuse to conform to those sexist views and oftenhave made my parents quite mad because I refuse to clean his dishes orvacuum up the mess he made in the family room.

Anyways, I sort of got off topic! You could always say he cannot go out with friends until his mouse is fed, too.
 
i grew up on a farm we had cows horses goatspeacocks chickend dogs cats 2 hamsters a gerbel 2 guinea pigs and aparkeet. when i was fifteen i got my own horse for my birthday, i lovedher and took care of her,i grew up with my father who forced me tolearn responsiblity. i was grounded a good portion of the time lolgrouned from my friends never the farm or the animalsi we didnt havecable so and my bed time was 900 till i was 18 also my dads favoriterule no tv till 700 lol i hated some of the rules and i dint like it ,but looking back my father gave me so much more if i had themoney right now could have a farm and run it smoothly i have a strongwork ethic, and i feel like my childhood was more then just wacting tvand playing vidio games. i had adventures with my brother and my horse.i know this dosen t help you much mabe the point of saying all that idid was to say its ok if you have to get tough and he dosnt like it fora while, he will love and apreciate you more when he is older. also ifi may add by threatinging to take way the pet and not doing it isnegitive reinforcement he thinks he can get away with out doing itbecause he knows you wont do it. hope this helps in one way or another .

sara
 
I don't understand how people cannot take care oftheir animals (however, I was irresponsible when we had our birds butI've grown up a lot since then). I started taking riding lessons at 12years old and not long after I started volunteering at the stables onthe weekends and in the summer. I practically lived there.

Me and other girls that volunteered would muck stalls, take horses out,exercise ones that needed it, bring inside horses in for the night,feed hay and grain to all 75 horses on the property, brush horses, bathhorses, catch them for the vet or farrier, etc. On one occasioneveryone else was at a show (my parents wouldn't let me go because ofthe cost) and I was left behind at the barn to do chores. The personthat was supposed to help me never showed up so I mucked 24 stalls bymyself, put horses where they needed to be (I had to take up to 4horses at a time to have time to do all the chores), fed them all,everything. Being around horses really helped me and I learned a greatdeal of responsibility and grew up pretty fast then.

It sometimes just takes a while for people to 'grow up'. I agree to notthreaten giving the mouse away, but taking other things away is a mucheasier approach.
 
I have combined those "family" chores and anallowance system. It has worked (although lately we haven'tused it because I haven't set the charts up!)

I made a chart of EACH day, ALL chores per child. I also included Homework, and "special chores - Misc" on the chart.

If the child does a chore without me asking them to, they get a check,if every space is checked each day they earn a dollar for thatday. At the end of the week they get the payout. Ifthey do special chores, I either give them a day free of another chore,or I pay them a little extra.... I determine that when I assign thechore. Sometimes they can ask for what they want (like if Ido this, will you feed the dog for a day?)

If I have to ask them more than one time (I will give them the onetime) then they lose their checkmark. IF they don't do all oftheir chores for the day, they don't get the money either.

I also made the chores that are only done on certain days of theweek.... like "clean the litterbox out" for the cat. It'sdone twice a week.

My major concern for doing this was to make them a bit moreresponsible, and for them to have a list of what is expected of themeach day, but I will ask them at the end of the day if it'sdone. I will also go check but they dont' know that LOL!
 
Lol, I am almost 17 and I still don't do my chores without putting up a fight! :p

Although when it comes to pets I was always pretty good. I have hadhamsters, gerbils, fish, cats, dogs, birds, the works. I am sure Islacked off some when I was younger.. but I know for sure my parentsnever did any of the work. It might have taken awhile, but the cleaningand such got done.

Now my pets take up most of my spare time, and money for that matter (Ipay for everything myself), and I wouldn't have it any other way. Butlike I said, when it comes to household chores.. blah, lol.

~Nichole
 
I used to make check sheets like that for my sonfor at school. Since Kindergarten he had a really hard time sittingstill and following the rules. He brought a checksheet with theclassroom rules (modified by the teacher and myself for the things hespecifically needed to work on) to school every day, and would getrewarded at the end of the day whenever he had all his checks. Therewards were usually non-monetary things like computer time or an extrastory or a trip to the park. If he got all his checks for several daysin a row (a very infrequent occurance), we would do something bigger orhe would get an ice cream or small toy.

At the beginning of this year, I had just about given up, and made anappointment with the counselor and his teacher to see if weneededto get him tested for ADHD. The teacher got sick forthe first appointment. She was out on an emergency the secondappointment, and then sick again the third appointment.

In between the third and fourth appointment, I had to take Orion to thedoctor for some virus or something--I don't even remember what. Whilewe were at the doctor's office, I mentioned that we were in the FlaglerCounty fires, back when Orion was just a year old, and we had had toevacuate. Ever since then, he has had a slight cough. We'd done chestx-rays and put him on all sorts of liquid medications to see if wecould get rid of it, but it was at a point where he was making a smalllittle cough sound every 10 seconds or so. While I'm sure it wasannoying his teacher to pieces, it also wasn't helping him sleep orconcentrate. The doctor prescribed Singulair.

Well...it immediately cleared up his cough. Orion startedsleeping better. He could sit still longer. He seemed to be able tohear better (less sinus pressure in his ears). He always did wellacademically, but his grades soared. Two weeks later I finally had thatappointment with his teacher and counselor. She couldn't stop talkingabout how much his behavior improved, and how much he was thinking"outside the box." By the end of the conference, we had signed him upto get tested for gifted...not for ADHD.

All because of a cough... Just makes you think, doesn't it?

At any rate, I think the check sheet could work for me with chores for him. He no longer needs to use one at school at all.

What chores does everyone's kids do? How many do you think is reasonable for a day?
 
Elf Mommy wrote:
What chores does everyone's kids do? How many do you thinkis reasonable for a day?
Click to expand...
Besides taking care of my rabbits, every weekend I have to sweep anddust my room, clean my bathroom, and sweep and dust the living room. Ialso have to empty the dishwasher every night, and wash the dishes thatcan't go in there. I don't think it's bad at all. I get $40 a month.Although when I lived with my mom I did nothing because we had cleaningladies, and I still got $40. :pYes I am just a little spoiled.

~Nichole
 
mambo101 wrote:
Raspberry, you should write a book on child rearing.It would sell a million copies if you had Sebastian and his little girlon the cover.
Click to expand...
If I thoughtI could pay the bills so I could stay home and chat with you guys onthe forum instead of getting a "real" job, I'd give it ashot!
 
MyBunnyLovesMe wrote:
And each of us had a name on a list for each day of the week and therewas a list of chores to do. IF we did all our chores for that day mymom would put a little star sticker on the day.
Click to expand...
We did that too! All kids love charts with stars!

RaspberrySwirl
 
The chart thing never worked for me.:?I'm very disorganized and messy and the chart just seemedlike another useless tool to me so it made things worse! Over the yearsI've learned that keeping things (like my binder) in order was simplyeasier in the end! My room is not always the cleanest, but it's not adisaster either -- I generally have papers and make-up spread on mydesk until I clean it off one night, I have the off pair of jeans or asweater that I threw off my chair onto the floor but other than that,I'm not all that bad.
 
Thanks everyone for the comments and thesuggestions. I dont pay my son to clean house either but i expect himto do stuff one cause he lives here and two cause i provide forwhiskers. thats the mouse's name.

My husband grew up in a family where the mom did everything and no oneelse helped so its a big battle here. he didnt have a father in hislife either so that dont help. I work a little less than himbut not much and take care of the kids and house so i try and make myboys know thats its not the wifes job to do everything.

Cristy
 
Elf Mommy wrote:
Well...it immediately cleared up his cough. Orionstarted sleeping better. He could sit still longer. He seemed to beable to hear better (less sinus pressure in his ears). He always didwell academically, but his grades soared. Two weeks later I finally hadthat appointment with his teacher and counselor. She couldn't stoptalking about how much his behavior improved, and how much he wasthinking "outside the box." By the end of the conference, we had signedhim up to get tested for gifted...not for ADHD.
Click to expand...
That's great! I'm glad you found he needed the medicines :)

The Cough is asthma, I don't know if they told you that?

Singulair is a good medicine. My son uses it. AND.... yes,there are many things that can mimic ADHD or other problems.It's best to get a full health check before pursuing anythingfurther......

Kids with ADHD are often geniuses. My son is.
 
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