Advice

[jleo3]

My boyfriend of 5 years and I have decided to part ways and we have about 2 months before that will happen. We have lived together for nearly 3 of those years with our two dogs (and recently, a rabbit). My concern is how to prepare the dogs for the split. His dog will be going with him and mine will stay with me. And while each dog favours their respective owner, there is still a very strong attachment toward both of us from both the dogs.

Given the circumstances, I believe that we are handling this well and on good terms. I suspect we will continue to be great friends afterward, but I do not want my dog to handle the transistion poorly. In the past, she has handled stress rather poorly andaside from myself, I would call him her favorite human.Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm not too worried about the rabbit as he is pretty fearless and a total "mama's boy" at the same time.

 

[Brandy456]

Maybe you guys could 'share custody' as in you get his dog for a weekend (with your own) and the next weekend he gets yours.
That way they could see each other, and the other human without you two killing each other

 

[jcottonl02]

Perhaps when you actually do move apart, perhaps for the first few weeks, both bring your dogs to the same park perhaps 3 times a week, and slowly reduce it so they get used to it. I know you will both probably be busy, and going to the park together won't be ideal directly after a life-changing decision. But at least your dogs can slowly let go of one another, and you both, this way.

It's said that dogs really live in the present, so I wouldn't be toooooooooo worried about them. They may be sad but I think dogs handle things well, generally, and do live for the now, rather than the past (according to Caesar anyway ).

Good luck with it all

Jen

 

[Brandy456]

Different dogs act differently.
I've seen dogs go for the worst, but there was no 'plan' for them to socialize even with other dogs. But I've seen way more dogs get less distracted and listen more, acting better.
When the time is right, would you consider adopting another?

 

[jcottonl02]

That's true- different dogs do act differently. But I still go with what Caesar says, in that dogs don't dwell on the past. How he knows that, I don't know, but he's such a god when it comes to canine behaviour lol!

I think I'd def try getting them together regularly for the first few weeks, but that's just my opinion, and what I would do. I have 6 dogs (9 if you count the puppies ) so I am not totally inexperienced when it comes to them, but by no means an expert.

I think anything cold turkey isn't the most ideal way to do things, imvho.

But you know your dogs better than anyone- what do you think would be best for them?

ETS- and that's a really good idea, considering adopting another. Two dogs wouldn't be much more expensive that one, really, in terms of feeding and general keep. Is that something you think your dog would like?

Jen

 

[Brandy456]

Also, if you can't adopt another for whatever reason (housing and stuff) my brother puts his and his gf's dog in a daycare at the local petsmart because he has suffered from loss (his mate died..)

 

[jcottonl02]

Does your dog get along with your bun?

Jen

 

[jleo3]

Wow! More replies than I was expecting!
Joint custody may not work out exactly, but I like the idea of meeting at the park and gradually decrease from there. And while dogs live in the present, we have been trying to work on a severe case of separation anxiety (more from my dog than his) and he has been a BIG part of her life since I brought her home 5 years ago.

One more dog for me (on my own) would be too much. My dog is a very bossy shiba inu and doesn't really take too kindly to strangers, dogs included. It took a while for her to warm up to my rabbit and it has progressed to her just ignoring him. Although, I wish it were the same the other way around, he terrorizes her!

 

[jcottonl02]

That's fair. Yeah I think trying the meeting for a while and slowly decreasing, couldn't hurt- I'm sure it would do at least some good.

Yeah some dogs do remember things; my next door neighbour's dog must have been beaten when younger, before he adopted her from the shelter. He has had her....3 or 4 years? We see him and her probably every day, yet she still cowers from anyone except him. She has improved- when he is right by her side she won't shake, and will perhaps offer her nose for a stroke, but I still don't think she'll ever be okay with people again (except him. It's wonderful to see the trust she has in him).

Perhaps the few weeks leading up to the 'move', you could take your dog out for lots of walks, just you and her, hopefully getting her used to being more with just u, aswell as the park trips after the move.

I might worry that, after a dog has already had the company of another dog for so long, after being split they might be rather lonely. If you think this might be the case then taking her to busy parks when she goes for her walks, hopefully meeting other dogs would be a good idea, just so she still has regular canine socialisation, as she's been so used to it. And she obviously sounds like a bit of a....not clingy dog but you know what i mean, so I think the extra attention and making her life busy with new and interesting people and things could help her.


Good luck!

Jen