Am i being an over protective mommy?

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babymommy

babymommy

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Location
, Georgia, USA
I have a question. I'm a single momwith a 14 year old daughter. (no this isn't abouther) I am perfectly comfortable with her handling Baby in anysituation. She seems to have a natural gift.

I have a boyfried that I've mentioned before. We've beenseriously dating for about 2 years now. We've know each otherfor 11 years. He has two boys, 15 and 13. I have noproblem pretty much with the 15 year old and Baby.

HOWEVER, the 13 year old quite frankly gets on my last nerve where Babyis concerned. My boyfriend asked me yesterday why I'm alwaysasking the youngest boy to leave Baby alone. I tried toexplain to him, but he said I act like no one else can have anything todo with her but me. That's simply no true. But whenhis youngest is there and I let Baby out, he is constantly calling hername and following her around and it annoys me. I've tried totell him to leave her alone and she will come to him. She'snot a dog, and you have to be more patient with her. He justdoesn't seem to get it. So I do find myself getting on to himabout it alot.

So am I being to over protective?
 
hi, well i can empathise with you on this. notnecessarily about rabbits but men and kids in general!!! i understandyou completely, hope my understanding helps ease your fears slightly.
 
Hey, Babymommy! No, you're not beingoverprotective at all; you're just being a good bunnymommy. I understand completely how you feel.

We have a lot of company here at my house, especially in light of thefact that my grandmother lives with us. Family and friendsdrop by frequently to see her, my husband and I have company, andbelieve it or not His Majesty even has his own company!:? Many times when people come over they'll bring theirchildren ... who very naturally want to see "the rabbit". Itry to be patient in this as not all children have been instructed onthe handling and proper demeanor that they should have with smallanimals.

The first thing that I do before I bring Sherman up(if I determine that this is a coachable child whocan follow instructions) is to tell them that he doesn't like to bepicked up. I tell them to approach him slowly and quietly, tobe calm, and to just gently pet him. I usually give the childone yogurt drop to give him to win his affection. I watchclosely to see how they interact and if I see the child is stressinghim I make excuses and take him right back downstairs.

Naturally your boyfriend is going to be a little "sensitive" when itcomes to his son. I think that if it were me I would just tryto explain to him that since bunny has no one to speak for him but youand that since as a prey animal he has a different psychology than saya dog or a cat that you're just looking out for him--you can tell whenbunny is a little stressed or skittish and you're just trying to helpkeep him from being overtaxed. Assure him that you love hisson, but you want to make sure that his son understands how to properlyinteract with bunny before you let him have free contact.Usually men are logical and grounded enough that if you give them anargument that makes sense they accept it without rancor.

I hope this helps! Please keep us posted as to how things are going in this situation. :)
 
You're not being overprotective at all. I takeIvory out all the time on his little leash, and take him over to seethe kids I babysit for. He loves it. He's so good with them. Of course,they're all under 5, so it takes a couple tries to get the "gentlepets" part right, but he just sits and takes it. eventually, the kidsget sick of him and run away from their parents, so he gets a break.The thing i didnt like was when I took him downtown, and we werestopped by a family with a mom, and i think 2 boys. (i dont rememberspecifics, it was a while ago). anyway, the mom was petting it, andtrying to get her boys to pet it. She picked Ivory up under his belly,and held him up to her chest to support him. then she turned to herkids, still holding Ivory, and told them to pet him. I get so mad whenpeople pick up my animals without me telling them they can. especiallycomplete strangers. i mean, my friends, i have more leniency for. sorrynow im ranting lol. but you're not being overprotective. you just wannamake sure you're rabbit's safe and comfortable with everyone shes incontact with.
 
Hi babymommy,

I don't mean to step on toes here, but your boyfriend needs tounderstand that children need to follow rules. Your childdoes follow the rules, his does not. At 13 years old, thechild definitely knows better and may be pushing yournervefor spite. Not sure, but it couldbe. Don't mean to falsly accuse anyone, but it's something toconsider.

I keep my rabbits in the cage when kids are in my house unless I feelthat they listen to what I tell them they can and can't do.If they don't, the rabbits go back into the cage and the kids are toldto stay away from them. I don't care if peoplethink I'm out of line or not. It's not my problem, and I willprotect Tucker and Fauna as they can't protect or speak upforthemselves.

Your boyfriend should respect your wishes and teach his children thatwhenthey're in someone else's house, they need to abide bytheir rules. If someone was bullying or chasing after his sonknowing that he doesn't like it and it freaks him out, he'd stop thatperson in a minute. I don't think the point changes much ifit's a bunny that someone misbehaving around. The feelings offear and level of stress happen whether your a rabbit or a human.


-Carolyn


P.S. Just read BunnyMommy's note to you and she's 100% right.It's not that you don't like the child, it's that you expect a certainamount of respect and consideration around Baby as she's not a toy.
 
We had the same problem with kids coming over andopening the chinchillas cage. I put a lock on it and solvedthe problem.

I have antiques, very old books, glass, etc., so I nicely explain tothe kids that come over "pretend that my house is a museum and DON'TTOUCH ANYTHING".

Pam
 
pamnock wrote:
I have antiques, very old books, glass, etc., so I nicely explain tothe kids that come over "pretend that my house is a museum and DON'TTOUCH ANYTHING".

Pam
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I've got friends coming over tonight with their little"angel". I have to move everything that's breakable out ofhis lovely little reach. I hate it when they come over withthat child, but I adore the parents, so I have to just put up withit. I'm thinking that it might be easier for me to let Tuckerand Fauna out because they'll run under some place and be hard to getto.

I hate to say it, but I'm already looking forward to them leaving.



-Carolyn

 
Carolyn - You're not stepping on toesat all. I do know it's not for spite though.Although he is 13, he is very imature for his age in allot of areas andnot just with me. His own mother told me that. Andeven his dad on occassion has admitted to it. I think what Imay do is just leave her in the cage when he's over. When heasks if I'm going to let her out, I'll just politely tell him that onlyif he will leave her alone. He doesn't try to hold her oranything just CONSTANTLY calling her name, and it's not anexageration. And then he'll just follow her arownd.I've tried to tell him if he lets her come to him, Baby will eventuallyfollow him around. That's how she does with me and mydaughter.

Pamnock - I do have a lock that I used when I first got Baby untileveryone, including my sister and my neices, that only myself or mydaughter can let her out. Thankfully, I haven't had a problemwith anyone trying to get her out.
 
babymommy wrote:
I think what I may do is just leave her in the cage when he's over.
Click to expand...


I think that's the most peaceful and safest way to handle the whole situation.

-Carolyn
 
Carolyn wrote:
I hate to say it, but I'm already looking forward to them leaving.



-Carolyn
Click to expand...


Bless your heart, Carolyn. We know people like thistoo. I was always trained that if you had children to teachthem to respect other people's houses, to sit down and toobey. People who have children should want other people tolove them too, but you have to train the child so that others can lovethem.

It's a real shame when a child is wreaking havoc and destruction inyour house and the parents just sit there like they have blinderson. I hate disciplining other people's children, but ifthey're in my house and nobody else will take that responsibility, thenI have to do so. I feel sorry for the child when I have to dothat because it's not his/her fault that he/she is nottrained. The problem lies with the parents.

I completely understand Pam's position too. When you havenice things, you want to keep them nice. If children come toyour house they should respect that.
 
I know how it is. Children and adults thinkbunnies are so cute and cuddley that they want to hold them and followthem. It sort of messes up Pauly and Mella's image, but I tell peoplethey kick and bite if they're handled by strangers. It's not far fromthe truth. Of course they're not monsters, but portraying them that waymakes them seem less cuddley. I give them tough guy reputations becausetheir cute little faces are so irresistable. The fact is they can beseriously hurt and stressed by curious people. You're notoverprotective. You are exactly the protection your baby needs.
 
Of course, you could always tell them the childis in danger of contracting rabbidosis from the rabbit's saliva,resulting in diarrhea, lock jaw, hearing losses, double vision andtemporary paralysis; but not to worry, because you haven't heard of anew case for at least three days in yourstate. Conclude with, "By all means, petthe bunny after it's finished licking itself. They're very cleananimals, you know?" *chuckle*



Buck
 
I think you'rebeing a perfectly normal bunnymom. I am very protective of Elf, evenwith my own children. You're doing what you know is right.
 
haha buck good one, i dont know how well thatwould blow off with the 1 year olds i babysit for though, seeing as oneof 'em already tells everyone her booboo's are from falling off herbike, cuz i tell her about mine when she asks.
 
Buck Jones wrote:
Of course, you could always tell them the child is in dangerof contracting rabbidosis from the rabbit's saliva, resulting indiarrhea, lock jaw, hearing losses, double vision and temporaryparalysis; but not to worry, because you haven't heard of a new casefor at least three days in your state.Conclude with, "By all means, pet the bunny after it's finished lickingitself. They're very clean animals, you know?" *chuckle*



Buck
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I'm never touching Henry or Max again!! LOL :D
 
Some people dont seem to understand a rabbit isnot a dog.A thirteen year old should be able to follow instructions.Iread somewhere a rabbit is more like a parrot than any other animal.Iexplain how the rabbits are to be handled and if the child wont listenthey dont get to play with the bunny.My niece is seven and was toorough with animals we had a talk about bunnies and now she does muchbetter.bluebird
 
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