dmmcnair
Well-Known Member
I am so upset with my father-in-law right now..Ihave to get this off my chest and after reading the I want a babythread I know some of you might understand.
I have four kids, ages 9, 7, 2, and 10 months. I stay at homewith my kids, and have been doing it for 3 years now (ever since Ifound out I was prego with my 2 year old). My house is adisaster area. I know this, I hate it, but it comes with theterritory. We take a day during our very precious weekends(this is the only time the kids get to spend with their dad, as heworks an hour and a half away, is gone at 6 am and doesnt' return homeuntil 7 pm or later and works every other Saturday) to clean our houseas best we can and as quickly as we can. An hour later it isa disaster area again.
My father-in-law told me yesterday that my house was a health hazard tomy kids!!! That since I don't do anything all day long my house shouldbe perfectly clean!!! Basically, I am a bad mother and wifeand am not doing my job! That's how I feel anyway. I am sodepressed and I feel basically worthless right now. It's badenough that at times I feel that I am not doing enough for my kids andmy husband without someone telling me I suck!
Let me give you the history of our house...it's not ours, we are livinghere at the sufferance of my in-laws. When my hubby and Iwere looking for some land to put our trailer on, and eventually buildour own house, the in-laws said let us help you, here you need to finda place with a house already on it so you don't add to your bills, herewe'll buy this property with this wonderful house with the familycompany, don't you worry about it, we'll take care of it, here let usadd on to your house because there aren't enough rooms, and no youcan't help pay for it because the house is not in your name and thecompany is paying for it anyway, and if you put any money down to helpyou will make yourselves a higher percent holder of the family comapanyand that wouldn't be fair to the other kids, so you can't helpmoneywise, or and you have no say whatsoever in what is done to thehouse or property.
I am so thankful that we have a great house to live in and property formy kids to run around on and be safe, but this isn't my home, and I wasreminded very thoroughly of it yesterday. He said he wantedto bring my hubby's brother to show off the place but he wasembarrassed by it. And it wasn't fair to the other kids thatthey are putting so much money into this house and we can't keep itperfectly clean, even though we had a family meeting before theproperty and house were bought, and everyone agreed to it.
My father-in-law hired a guy to build a barn, yahoo now I have a placeto store everything, not, it was started in April and still not done,and now the guy is being sued for breach of contract. So nobarn, no place to put our stuff. There is no storage to speakof in the house, I don't have anywhere to put anything. Thesmaller children don't even have drawers yet, their clothes are in mydrawers!
I'm sorry this was so long, but...I don't know...I'm just soupset. And the fact that my dad is coming for a visit, and isa neat freak too, and I have to get the house cleaned, the outsidedone, and Ella and Jenna have to go outside, along with the guinea pig,because I can't take hearing the crap that is going to come out of mydad's mouth, and on top of that our guinea pig Madi died yesterday, andmy father-in-law said that it was good, now we could get rid of thestinky cage (which I just cleaned out so it wasn't stinky, in fact itis never over stinky), and of course those stupid rabbits shouldn't bein the house cause they stink and are messy and it isn't good for thekids, and why do I have rabbits anyway, cause they aren't good foranything, and don't you do anything all day long? No I don't doanything, but pay the bills, worry about the bills, take care of mykids, worry about my kids, deal with the school, and anything else thatcomes up, get my kids fed, clean, homework done, showered, chores donerabbits fed and watered cages cleaned hubby fed clothes ironed kids inbed, etc. Did I leave anythingout?
Sorry folks. Thanks for listening.
Dawn
My neighbor gave me this to hang on the wall, God Bless her!
I have four kids, ages 9, 7, 2, and 10 months. I stay at homewith my kids, and have been doing it for 3 years now (ever since Ifound out I was prego with my 2 year old). My house is adisaster area. I know this, I hate it, but it comes with theterritory. We take a day during our very precious weekends(this is the only time the kids get to spend with their dad, as heworks an hour and a half away, is gone at 6 am and doesnt' return homeuntil 7 pm or later and works every other Saturday) to clean our houseas best we can and as quickly as we can. An hour later it isa disaster area again.
My father-in-law told me yesterday that my house was a health hazard tomy kids!!! That since I don't do anything all day long my house shouldbe perfectly clean!!! Basically, I am a bad mother and wifeand am not doing my job! That's how I feel anyway. I am sodepressed and I feel basically worthless right now. It's badenough that at times I feel that I am not doing enough for my kids andmy husband without someone telling me I suck!
Let me give you the history of our house...it's not ours, we are livinghere at the sufferance of my in-laws. When my hubby and Iwere looking for some land to put our trailer on, and eventually buildour own house, the in-laws said let us help you, here you need to finda place with a house already on it so you don't add to your bills, herewe'll buy this property with this wonderful house with the familycompany, don't you worry about it, we'll take care of it, here let usadd on to your house because there aren't enough rooms, and no youcan't help pay for it because the house is not in your name and thecompany is paying for it anyway, and if you put any money down to helpyou will make yourselves a higher percent holder of the family comapanyand that wouldn't be fair to the other kids, so you can't helpmoneywise, or and you have no say whatsoever in what is done to thehouse or property.
I am so thankful that we have a great house to live in and property formy kids to run around on and be safe, but this isn't my home, and I wasreminded very thoroughly of it yesterday. He said he wantedto bring my hubby's brother to show off the place but he wasembarrassed by it. And it wasn't fair to the other kids thatthey are putting so much money into this house and we can't keep itperfectly clean, even though we had a family meeting before theproperty and house were bought, and everyone agreed to it.
My father-in-law hired a guy to build a barn, yahoo now I have a placeto store everything, not, it was started in April and still not done,and now the guy is being sued for breach of contract. So nobarn, no place to put our stuff. There is no storage to speakof in the house, I don't have anywhere to put anything. Thesmaller children don't even have drawers yet, their clothes are in mydrawers!
I'm sorry this was so long, but...I don't know...I'm just soupset. And the fact that my dad is coming for a visit, and isa neat freak too, and I have to get the house cleaned, the outsidedone, and Ella and Jenna have to go outside, along with the guinea pig,because I can't take hearing the crap that is going to come out of mydad's mouth, and on top of that our guinea pig Madi died yesterday, andmy father-in-law said that it was good, now we could get rid of thestinky cage (which I just cleaned out so it wasn't stinky, in fact itis never over stinky), and of course those stupid rabbits shouldn't bein the house cause they stink and are messy and it isn't good for thekids, and why do I have rabbits anyway, cause they aren't good foranything, and don't you do anything all day long? No I don't doanything, but pay the bills, worry about the bills, take care of mykids, worry about my kids, deal with the school, and anything else thatcomes up, get my kids fed, clean, homework done, showered, chores donerabbits fed and watered cages cleaned hubby fed clothes ironed kids inbed, etc. Did I leave anythingout?
Sorry folks. Thanks for listening.
Dawn
My neighbor gave me this to hang on the wall, God Bless her!
Excuse this house Some houses try to hid the fact that childrenshelter there, ours boasts it quite openly, the sins are everywhere...For smears are on the windows, little smudges on the doors; I guiss Ishould apologize for the toys strewn on the floor. But I sat down withthe children and we laughed and playe and read and if hte doorbelldoesn't shine, their eyes will shine instead. For when at times I'mforced to choose, the one job or the other; I want to be a housewife,but first I'll be a mother. ~author unknown~