BunnyLove89
Well-Known Member
I'm 24 and still live at home with my parents. We live on a 31 acre farm and in a couple of weeks my fiancé is moving in with us. The plan is for my fiancé and I to live in my parents' house with them for awhile after we are married, until we have enough money saved to build a house. The plan is to build on the property.
I usually get along well with my parents, but lately it's been a bit rough. She has started this new thing where she bashes me to my fiancé. Like she'll take things about me that she knows already irritate him and she'll start off with "I hope you know what you're getting into" and then she'll harp on my negative points and she'll laugh about it as if it's funny to humiliate me.
Then 2 days ago she was fighting with my dad, and what usually happens happened. She turned on me and took out her anger on me. I was cleaning the bathroom and she started screaming in my face and yelling for me to clean the bathroom, even tho that's what I was already doing. I asked her why she has to yell at me and make me feel small, then she got in my face and was yelling that it was my fault I was in trouble. I asked her to leave the room, she said no, so I walked away. As I was walking away she started calling me a b**ch and making other nasty comments about me. Her favorite things to call me are lazy, slob, pig, brat, and the b-word. I was sitting in my room as she started throwing my clothes basically in a pile at my door so I left the house and sat in the turkey house and cried until my fiancé came home.
Later on another fight erupted between me and my mom and she did a combo of yelling/name calling/ insulting/and exaggerating on my negatives to the point where it was almost a complete lie. I wound up yelling back and after it was done I started crying again and didn't want my fiancé to see so I told him to just go home (I was preparing for him to break up with me, honestly) and I ran off into the woods. I was going to punch the crap out of a tree which is what I do when I get really upset, but I had work the next day and I wouldn't have been able to explain why my hand was a mess. My fiancé found me and he was upset that my mom acted like that and I also found out that after he set out to look for me, my parents locked us out and left (the locking out was intentional, they knew I was outside and upset). He made me feel better but I finally broke down. Normally I don't talk about my feelings, at all, but I did. I told him that I can handle when she treats me like this when it's just me but the fact that she does it front of him makes me worried that one day he is going to start believing all of the things she says about me and he'll leave. I also said that I'm starting to believe that I am as awful as she makes me feel.
It's hard. When we're getting along, which we do 75% of the time, things are great. But then she gets in these moods. I don't know how to handle it. Any attempt I make to explain to her how it made me feel just starts another fight.
This has to get better. If it doesn't, my fiancé has said that he won't want to build on the property, and he also won't want our kids around her. I can't tell her this. It would really hurt her feelings and it wouldn't accomplish anything.
I just really need advice...I'm stressed and depressed over it all and it sucks.
Sorry for the long rant!
I usually get along well with my parents, but lately it's been a bit rough. She has started this new thing where she bashes me to my fiancé. Like she'll take things about me that she knows already irritate him and she'll start off with "I hope you know what you're getting into" and then she'll harp on my negative points and she'll laugh about it as if it's funny to humiliate me.
Then 2 days ago she was fighting with my dad, and what usually happens happened. She turned on me and took out her anger on me. I was cleaning the bathroom and she started screaming in my face and yelling for me to clean the bathroom, even tho that's what I was already doing. I asked her why she has to yell at me and make me feel small, then she got in my face and was yelling that it was my fault I was in trouble. I asked her to leave the room, she said no, so I walked away. As I was walking away she started calling me a b**ch and making other nasty comments about me. Her favorite things to call me are lazy, slob, pig, brat, and the b-word. I was sitting in my room as she started throwing my clothes basically in a pile at my door so I left the house and sat in the turkey house and cried until my fiancé came home.
Later on another fight erupted between me and my mom and she did a combo of yelling/name calling/ insulting/and exaggerating on my negatives to the point where it was almost a complete lie. I wound up yelling back and after it was done I started crying again and didn't want my fiancé to see so I told him to just go home (I was preparing for him to break up with me, honestly) and I ran off into the woods. I was going to punch the crap out of a tree which is what I do when I get really upset, but I had work the next day and I wouldn't have been able to explain why my hand was a mess. My fiancé found me and he was upset that my mom acted like that and I also found out that after he set out to look for me, my parents locked us out and left (the locking out was intentional, they knew I was outside and upset). He made me feel better but I finally broke down. Normally I don't talk about my feelings, at all, but I did. I told him that I can handle when she treats me like this when it's just me but the fact that she does it front of him makes me worried that one day he is going to start believing all of the things she says about me and he'll leave. I also said that I'm starting to believe that I am as awful as she makes me feel.
It's hard. When we're getting along, which we do 75% of the time, things are great. But then she gets in these moods. I don't know how to handle it. Any attempt I make to explain to her how it made me feel just starts another fight.
This has to get better. If it doesn't, my fiancé has said that he won't want to build on the property, and he also won't want our kids around her. I can't tell her this. It would really hurt her feelings and it wouldn't accomplish anything.
I just really need advice...I'm stressed and depressed over it all and it sucks.
Sorry for the long rant!