A LONG Tribute to GingerSpice

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It is hard to know what to say for the best, but i believe that dream was your bond with Ginger telling you how she felt, and i'm sure it is true because she seemed like such a character, a true heart bunny. My thoughts are truly with you Peg.
 
This is the first bunny tribute that has made me openly cry. :cry4:It is very sweet and sentimental. I have a bunny, my first bunny, who peed on me several times when I first got her. I would like to think that she would go out being my TinkleBunny. I am truely sorry for your loss. :hug1It is strange how the dying sometimes give us the gift of preparation. It shows how much she loves you that she found a way to talk to you in your dream, it sounds like that is something that you needed. Shesounded like quite a character.

~Star~

"My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today." ~Watership Down~
 
Hi Peg, I will light a candle in memory of GingerSpice, she was such a beautiful girl. You did a really great job with her right to the end. I must say I had a chukle when you wrote about her Pee Peeing on you along with many tears.

Peg the way you express yourself is a real joy to read. I look forward to buying you novel when it is published.

Give a big kiss to that BunFather from me.

Susan:angelandbunny:
 
Ginger's story is actually going to be in book two. It is going to be her stroke that leads Abby to realize she wants to hurt with injured animals (she's going to wind up with wildlife rehabilitation).

I wasn't going to have Ginger die in the book. I wanted it to be happy. But Ginger's passing has shown me that to be true to the character of Abby - and of Ginger - she has to pass in the book. It will be Ginger's passing that breaks Abby's heart but helps her realize that at times you have to let them go if you love them....that you have to set them free.

The one thing I've realized from all this is that sometimes we have to love our rabbits enough to let them go. I could have continued to forcefeed her. I could have insisted she drink and I probably could have kept her alive for another 2 days - maybe even a week with the help of a vet giving her fluids.

But she was telling me with her eyes the last few days that while she loved me - she needed to leave me. She wasn't in pain as in gritting her teeth - but her spirit was in pain...she needed me to be willing to let her go. Art saw it days ago - and was trying to prepare me but I didn't want to listen to him - and I didn't want Ginger to tell me it was time to go.

If you ever have a disabled rabbit that takes extended care - you will know when they are ready. I never understood when folks on a disabled rabbit list used to say, "I realized it was time for XX to go". I would storm at the monitor..."No...keep fighting. You ALWAYS keep fighting."

Ginger taught me that there are times when you acknowledge the fight is over and just relax and enjoy the last few moments you have.

When I tucked her in my arms for our nap...we both knew it was the end. She was happy - she was smiling at me and her eyes sparkled. She realized I had accepted it and was willing to let her go. Because of that...her passing was so special to me - to both of us. It was peaceful and it was in my arms. She didn't appear to be in pain....and I really think that while she didn't want to leave me - she wanted to cross the bridge.

And I'm sorry to ramble .... really. But in some ways - Ginger taught me more through her passing than she did in her life here with me.

Now I stare at my empty desktop and cry. She was my baby. But ...I'll always have her in my heart.

Peg
 
Everytime you speak of your story I want to read it so bad. It is so great to see how Ginger continues to inspire you. She has left her mark on you and on all us.
 
I wanted to share that while it has been about 2weeks now since I lost GingerSpice...I'm having a really REALLY hardtime dealing with the grief. Sometimes it shows up in my posts - and Ihave to back off - because I find myself angry tha others have theirrabbits and I don't have Ginger.

Other times I find myself depressed...feeling like a total failure...

Ginger's passing was special in the fact that she wasn't scared and itwas peaceful. For the first day, I think I was numb and that was a goodthing.

But now it throbs all the time - the ache of "why can't I have her?" and the missing her.

I'm sharing this here because I was browsing in the Bunny101 section ofthe forums and found this thread on dealing with grief. I read it andcried and cried and cried. It explained so well what I am feeling...howconfused and lost I am.

So I'm sharing the link here for anyone who happens to read this....

http://www.rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=16988&forum_id=17

I also want to add (for anyone who might be reading this) - if I'vebeen short with you or someone else on the forum - I'm so sorry. Itwasn't until recently that I was able to see just how much the griefwas affecting me in ways I couldn't see.

Peg


 
Thanks Haley. I just am so confused. I'll bedoing something and burst out into tears because I saw a towel of hersor because I thought of her.

Since October she had become so much a major part of my life - an hour or more of my day was spent caring for her.

The grief is....overwhelming. The first day I was numb and had a senseof peace - but now....I just want to bury my head and cry .

I've lost animals before - but I've never ever grieved like this. I just can't get over the intensity of the feelings.

Peg

Haley wrote:
Peg, I cant imagine how hard this is for you. We're here if you need us :hug2:
 
Oh, Peg...I wish I could just "stop on over" andgive you a hug...just one more huge reason I wished I still lived inTexas. I would have taken the drive, no matter how long, togive you a hug, and let you cry on my shoulder...for however long itmight be.

It kills me that there's nothing I can do to help...

But, like Haley said, we are all very much here for you to help youthrough this in any way we possibly can. I know words don'thelp much, but please know that there is a lot of love and emotionbehind these words.

We love you...and please let me, or anybody else, know any way we can help, ok?

Love and hugs,

Rosie
 
I've had two days of almost not crying - that isgood - and today - I made this poster of GingerSpice - and I'm going toput it here...

GingerSpiceinRecliner.jpg



I'm beginning to feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is NOTjust the headlights of an oncoming train...like there really is hope.

That is a good thing.

Peg
 
That is a very nice poster. :hug1
 
Aww...she looks like a little stuffy...how cute! :)

Wonderful poster...:)

And I'm happy you're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel...:)
 
I would make her up that basket with a towel init and I would set her in it like a rabbit normally sits so that she'duse her muscles to hold herself up.

She'd stay that way till I left my desk to do something - and I'd comeback and she'd be sitting like that. I'd tell her she needed to use hermuscles...that she couldn't just do that...and move her back into asitting position...a few minutes later - she was back in a recliningposition.

I finally gave up. All that mattered was that she was happy (she was) and that she was able to snack while I wrote on my book.

I was tossing a package of batteries we'd bought from Walmart and foundin it a coupon for 10 free pictures at their one-hour photo thing. Itexpires next month.

I realized - I can go through my photos of her now - and still tear up - but not bawl my head off...

So I'm going to get the 10 photos of her and then maybe do them in a little collage or something above my desk.

That way - she'll still be with me as I write the books she helped inspire and motivate me to write.

Peg
 
What a great idea..

Because I'm sure she visits you now and then, and would be happy to seeher memory living on, and to know that she's still there encouragingand inspiring you in your writing. :)

TinysMom wrote:
So I'm going to get the 10 photos of her and then maybe do them in a little collage or something above my desk.

That way - she'll still be with me as I write the books she helped inspire and motivate me to write.

Peg
 
That way - she'll still be with me as I write the books she helped inspire and motivate me to write.
And I'll bet this was just one of so many reasons why Ginger came into your life...:)

Still thinking of you Peg...and I'm sending more hugs your way...:hug1
 
What is amazing - is that since Saturday - I've not bawled my eyes out every day about her.

I've shed tears sometimes.....I've teared up when I look at her photos or think of her.

But the ache isn't so strong. The void isn't filled....I've tried tofill it by having other bunnies on the desk, etc - but I still miss her.

Still yet....I think I'm coming to a level of acceptance....that Ican't bring her back...that she's not in pain now...and that I can goon without her.

I found out this week that my family was seriously worried I'd have abreakdown around week one of when she passed away....and I think - Ialmost got to that point. I was sinking back into the depression thatI've fought most of my adult life.

But I'm doing much better now. I do tear up sometimes - but I also smile.

Peg
 
You know, I had been reading a book that I'dpurchased recently when I went through that very stressful week withRaph...where I almost lost him, where I almost had him euthanized. Justthe anticipation that something could happen to Raph at any moment wastearing me apart, as was wondering if I was doing the right thing forhim. And when I got to the end of the book I found that it helped megreatly in dealing with the inevitablegrief that accompanieslosing someone so close to you, whether it is a human or an animal.

The book was written by the father of an 11-yr-old boy who'd beendiagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer. They fought the disease fortwo years, but it persisted...every time they'd make progress with onetumor, another would appear. The entire family was suffering immensely,knowing that their son, Taylor, wasn't going to make it...but at thevery end of the book, when it describes his actual passing, the griefand sorrow was greatly overshadowed by something beautiful.

The father sat on his son's bedroom floor, cradling Taylor for 3 daysas he slowly slipped away. During this time Taylor was sometimes lucid,sometimes not, as he was so heavily sedated to try and ward off thephysical pain...but in his lucid moments would talk to his dad. Then onthe third morning the father woke up to hear his son talking to him,and he began to respond...but realized that Taylor wasn't talking tohim. He wasn't concious, but he was having a conversationwith Jesus. I don't recall word for word what was said now, but it wentsomething like this:

'Hi!'

'Okay...I will'

'Then I'll see you soon, right?'

'Alright...goodbye for now'

After this Taylor became silent, and then a few hours later he began having another, more brief, conversation:

'Hi again!'

'Okay'

'Yes, I'm ready'

Then Taylor stopped talking...a smile appeared on his face...and he passed away.

This is how I believe it to be for all of us when our timecomes...animals, humans, good, bad, and otherwise...it is an amazingjourney back to our true home. And while those who cross over leavebehind an enormous wake of grief and pain in their loved ones, it issuch a comfort to know that they are now truly whole again, that theyare enveloped with a blanket of pure love when they go, and that theydo wait for us at the other side of 'the rainbow bridge'. I think ofall the loved ones I've lost over the years, and the pain of course isthere whenever I find myself missing them, but in knowing that theirtransition is so beautiful, I am deeply comforted.

I hope this helps in some way, Peg...and it's so good to hear that you can smile once again...:hug2:
 
I just have to share that I made it a whole week without breaking down and weeping over GingerSpice. That is a milestone!

I still tear up when I think about her or when I see herpictures....and I've shed a few tears over her at times. But not theweeping where all I can do is sit and bawl my eyes out.

I am smiling more again - I don't feel the smile in my heart yet...but at least I can smile a bit.

I suspect though - it will be a while before I laugh again....

Still yet - it is nice to see that I am healing....

Peg
 

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