Weird topic...but so many questions...to all parents out there

[audrinasmommy88]

Ok, so i am pretty sure I am going to have a boy. I just feel it. i knew with my daughter that I was going to have a girl. Now, being that I have never had a boy, I have alot of questions abou circumcision...what does it entail? Do they do it in the same room as me after the baby is born? If not, when do they do it? Are they going to let me see the baby and the take him? What about aftercare? Do they numb the area? Will there be stitches? Does my OBGYN do it or a pediatrician? Who do i talk to about it? Please help!!!

 

[Samara]

My two stepsons were done before I came along, and my seventeen month old nephew wasn't circumcised. I will ask Dean when he gets home how it works. My brother never was so I can't ask him and I doubt Dean will remember it! LOL

 

[gmas rabbit]

In Canada they no longer circumsise boys. Their feeling is that it is unnecessary and cuts down on the sexual feeling men experience later in life. Since I am not a man, cannot answer that one. I would research it carefully before I had it done, as it would seem if one country has decided it is totally unnecessary there most be a good reason.

 

[MiserySmith]

What is your reasoning for circumcision?
In my opinion, unless it's for religious reasons I would never get it done. Just like I wouldn't get a daughters genitals cut up for no good reason.
As long as you teach him proper hygiene, it's not going to be a problem to keep it.
I've seen some badly done ones on my exes and you never know how it's going to turn out. I also couldn't imagine having something like that done to myself(though I'm a woman), I'd want to be natural and not have whatif's about if I had gotten to keep it.

 

[Samara]

I know that my husband wanted his two to be done because he was. He wanted to look similar as they grew and also because he had zero experience with foreskin hygeine.

My brother isn't and didn't want his son, my nephew, done. He thought it was unnecessary. I know growing up my brother had to have one on one lessons from our dad so he didn't get infections and kept everything clean.

It's a big debate but I don't want to stray from the OP's post...sounds like the choice is made and it's just the how's and when's that are in question. I recall when I worked for an insurance company that the hospital bills for it and generally the same day as birth. It is considered general surgery.

It isn't "Hey look over here!" SNIP! Anymore, hehe.

 

[agnesthelion]

This is a very controversial subject. Ever been on baby center.com? Don't bring it up there. People get in HUGE fights about this!!

San Francisco is even trying to make it be illegal to be done til the child is 18 and can decide for themselves.

Anyway, we decided to circ my son. But i did research first. I first talked to my husband and close male friends and family members about this. Of course they all looked at me like I had two heads. It just didn't dawn on them, especially my husband, not to circ. He told me stories of the "uncircd" boys in the locker room growing up. They looked different and weird. He didn't want his son to look like that. I asked KF he ever felt violated or a part of him was taken away? Again, told me to stop reading so much stuff on the Internet

The anti circ people are adamant about how cruel it is. They talk about how it is cutting away a part of your son that doesn't need to be. It is cosmetic only (unless there are religious beliefs involved in the decision) so why should it be done?

But the pro circ side is adamant that there are health benefits. That an uncircd penis is harder to clean. There are reports of lower cancer risks and STDs in circ penis. The social aspect of the circd penis being more, UHg what's the word here, accepted...for lack of a better way to say it.

As far as whom does it, you can pick if you want. Do you know where you are giving birth? Call that hospital and ask for references. Some people have the OB do it, some people pick a plastic surgeon, some people have a pediatric doctor do it.

At our hospital you can stay with your child or not. Personal decision I guess. You can also discuss pain relief. My son was locally numbed. He went home the same day it was done.

After care wasn't bad. We had to put gauze over the penis with tons of Vaseline on it so it didn't stick for the first few days. It healed fine and fast and he never seemed bothered by it at all.

Here is one tip doctors don't seem to tell moms though. If you do get it done, after it's healed pull back the skin gently for like the first year and a half. My sons almost reattached after like a year! Luckily I caught it in time but I've heard cases where it grows back. Don't be scared by this though. It sounds like a big deal but like once a day at diaper changes you just pull back the skin. It takes like less than a second. Now of course it's fine.

Anyway, in the end it will be a personal decision. Circ rates seem to be regional. I live in Iowa, conservative Midwest, so to speak, so circ is pretty high here. But in San Fran like I was saying, rates are going down.

My husband thinks it's insane that people are making a big deal about it. I don't have a penis, lol, so the jury is still out for me. However, I have NO regrets choosing it for my son. Obviously they don't remember the pain and my husband was 100% for it and I kinda wanted him to "look" like his dad. And my husband said he would have been mad if his mom DIDNT do it and he had to go through it at an older age. But I'm confused as to why the anti circ people think I'm horrible for choosing it. That's what the jury is out for me on.....

Anyway, hope I didn't confuse you more! Good luck with your decision. I know it's a tough one

 

[audrinasmommy88]

It's not for religious reasons that we would have it done. I am a nursing care partner and have seen many uncircumcised men. Some were really gross and not taken care of. I do not want that for my child. There are also health concerns for a male and any female that he is with if not cleaned properly. My friend didn't have her son circumcised until a year old and the while process for him was awful. I feel that it is better to have it done sooner rather than later. I appreciate everyone's opinion on this, but we have made the decision to have it done.

 

[LakeCondo]

As people have written, it's controversial & has been for at least 25 years. The pendulum seems to be moving back toward doing it, though. I can't remember the particular medical condition that was mentioned, though I'm thinking HIV.

But people seem to be quick to choose sides on lots of issues. Thinking that the longer breast-feeding is done the better is another one. Nobody knows how long it takes the baby to get the immunological benefits. Frankly, the thought of a guy being able to remember being breast fed when he was 3 years old is a bit creepy.

 

[audrinasmommy88]

I didnt breast feed with my first child but this one I am. But I am only doing it for a year. Dont want a kid attached to me forever

 

[LakeCondo]

Good plan.

 

[Blue eyes]

I have 3 boys and I can share our experiences. Our firstborn wascircumcised on the day of his birth at the hospital. My husband went with them and watched the doctor perform the procedure. I was still being tended to. My husband said it was awful to watch and our son cried in pain. It seemed to take forever, with baby crying the whole time.

The second time around, we took a different approach. We found a (can't remember exact title... I think it's something like moigel) basically a jewish rabbi who performs circumcisions. They wait until the 8th day (which is when endorphines happen to be at their highest level, reducing pain), come to your house, and do the procedure. (We are NOT jewish, BTW). The contrast was striking. He put a little wine on a gauze pad for our son to suck on (he loved it!) and the procedure was so quick. In a minute or two, he was perfectly content, seemingly having forgotten the whole thing.

With the third, there was no question that we would wait til the 8th day again. That rabbi had retired, but his son came in his place. Again it was quick and easy.


(I see you're in VA. We were in MD at the time, so you shouldn't have trouble finding a mohel in the area) I just looked it up. He's called a mohel but I think it sounds like moigel.

 

[MyBabyHasPaws]

I have 2 boys, neither of which are cut. My husband isnt either. After speaking with our doctor at the time he looked at me and asked me one question "Maria, how do you want it to LOOK?" I was confused, he then said "That's really what it boils down to, there is no medical benefit". So we didnt do it!

As for breastfeeding...
I breastfed both of my boys. I was what you considered an extended breastfeeder, most people say EWWW THATS GROSS, there is actually someone right here on this post . Yea well, its also the best I could have done for my little men. I breastfed my first until he was 2 years and 3 months, I weaned him because I got pregnant with my 2nd and was no way interested in tandum nursing (2 babies at the same time). My yongest son I nursed for only 5 months, my boobs were pooped. I can tell you my first had no problems what so ever with spit up or gas, where as my 2nd son had a bunch of issues with that. Getting the right formula is hard. And my son, now 5 doesnt remember. *GASP*

Michael Jordan was breastfed until he was 3 years old. Did ya know that? lol

If you have any questions what so ever with that you can PM me and I can try to help.

I am so pro-breastfeeding it isnt even funny.. but i'm not anti formula either. I think the mom needs to do what works for her and her child.

I also agree with Lisa this topic is sooo sticky! dont post something like this on Cafemom, they will eat you alive! I know from experience!

Good luck in whatever you chose

 

[MiniLopHop]

I don't have children or a penis, so I'm not very opinionated either way. However, I work in the health care arena and have seen reports of higher HIV transmission rates if it is not done. However, I didn't look closely at the studies to make sure they were well run and not set up with a bias. I just suggest it may be something to look into.

 

[BabyRue]

When I was pregnant with my son my doctor refused to do circumcision. I did A LOT of research on it and it has been proven to cause more problems in the long run then it does not being done.

I am not going to sit here and preach things to you but I highly suggest doing some reading on why it is becoming a very uncommon practice and why a good majority of countries are no longer doing it.

Food for thought. The main reason it used to be done was to reduce the desire for masturbation. And circumcising a boy has no medical benefits.

http://www.circumcisionvideos.com/

 

[melbaby80]

audrinasmommy88 wrote:

Ok, so i am pretty sure I am going to have a boy. I just feel it. i knew with my daughter that I was going to have a girl. Now, being that I have never had a boy, I have alot of questions abou circumcision...what does it entail? Do they do it in the same room as me after the baby is born? If not, when do they do it? Are they going to let me see the baby and the take him? What about aftercare? Do they numb the area? Will there be stitches? Does my OBGYN do it or a pediatrician? Who do i talk to about it? Please help!!!

Depends on the hospital. For my 5 yr old son the nurses took him to the nursery where a pediatrician did the circumcision a day after he was born. For my 18 month old, he was done a few days after he was born in the doctor's office. My husband and I watched (well I cringed and looked away for the most part), but they put this little thimble looking item around your baby's private part, numb it, and then do the cut. Its done quickly and you distract the baby with a sugar flavored water on a pacifier. After care is pretty easy, the baby is to be cleaned every change with warm water, then his private part is to be wrapped in a Vaseline covered gauze strip. It takes a good week for the swelling and the Vaseline covered gauze strip to not be used anymore. A week after the surgery you take your baby in for a check up. There are no stitches and virtually no blood. With the little boy I am pregnant with now, I will choose to circumcise as well. My brothers are not and had issues growing up with infections, but that is their personal experience. My insurance paid for everything even though it is an elective surgery. Honestly it should really be up to the fathers as I know the majority of fathers who are circumcised choose for their sons to be to and those that are not, do not. Doctor's can't agree whether it is beneficial or not because their is a plus side for each option.

 

[Bonnie Lee]

I am not a boy and I don't have kids lol but I do have 4 brothers and by the time my youngest brother was born it was impossible to find a doctor that would do it and he has never had issues and my dad never had to give him a talk but that would narrow down to hygiene.

I do think if the only worry was a higher risk for HIV maybe a talk on knowing a person before taking that step would be wise.

My partner doesn't have it done and being each others first time there was never a worry about STDs of any kind and I have never wished for him to be done.

I did like how someone on here found a rabbi to do it though that would be the way to go

I hope you have a healthy birth and all goes well with your decisions

 

[BabyRue]

Bonnie the myth about leaving a boy intact raising the risk for STI's including HIV is just that. A myth.

 

[irishbunny]

Well in most countries circumcision is not the norm. Here in Ireland, babies are never circumcised. It's unheard of, unless they develop some problem down the road that requires it to be done. I've done research on it, and the claim that it lowers the chances of infection and STD's was found to be untrue. So really the only reason to do it is purely cosmetic. I'm of the opinion that babies should be left intact and they can make the decision for themselves when they are a teen/adult, there are many men out there that resent the fact that they were circumcised as babies and undergo foreskin restoration. It also does cause multiple infant deaths in the US every year. I don't look down or think less of anyone who does do it, though, it's the parents choice but I think it is important for parents to really look into the pros and cons and make a good, educated decision

 

[Mrs. PBJ]

I can say my husband is not done and neither will any future boys we have. My husband smells better then most man and in six years has never had one infections and we of course we dont have to worry about STD

 

[Nancy McClelland]

It's kind of like the religious prohibition on the consumption of pork. It was done for health and sanitation reasons and through the veil of time it became a religious rite. Pork in ancient times was loaded with parasites and was bad for you if you ate it. Remember, these cultures didn't know about bacteria, sanitation, or any of that. Even during the Civil War, most wounds resulted in amputation with the "surgeon" using the same instruments over and over.