should I feel bad?

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renaelock

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, Michigan, USA
It's been almost 2 months since I brought my first rabbit, Polo, home. Yesterday for mothers day I was going to have my parents over for dinner. But because my brother and his girlfriend were coming it had to be at my parents home. Basically, after I brought Polo home and my mom found out she mentioned that now my brother and his girlfriend will never come over because she is allergic to rabbits. I barely recall the one time that his girlfriend made the comment about rabbits and never remembered when adding to my family. This girlfriend is still "new" but they are serious so she could be around forever. Should I feel bad that I brought rabbits into my home since his girlfriend is allergic? They (brother and girlfriend) don't live with me but they use to visit everyother week or so when they were in town, but now they won't be able to visit - and they are kinda glued at the hip so I probably won't see my brother as often as I use to. The way my mom said it, I should feel bad and the rabbits should be considered a "mistake" - BUT my parents also think that I have too many animals now and I think they might just be mad still so they are taking their anger out on the topic of the rabbits since they are the newest addition. I currently don't care if she is allergic and I own rabbits - I barely see her and I did ask her questions so I know having rabbit (hair/stink you know) on my shirt if I ever see her outside of my home won't be an issue. My mother even took it to the extreme that the dogs couldn't come over because the rabbit hair could be on the dogs - girlfriend said I could bring and dogs and she was fine. I guess I have mixed feelings every now and then and wanted to know your opinions on the matter. Thank you for reading and replying if you do!
 
My sister in law has 3 cats. I'm pretty allergic to cats, but that doesn't mean she should feel bad about having them and loving them! That's ridiculous and nobody should make you feel bad for having your rabbits.

Just tell your brother that you'll be willing to go out to dinner with him if his girlfriend doesn't want to eat at your house anymore because of the buns. Or see if she can come into the house and be around them. I'm fine in a house with cats for a few hours and many people with allergies can take some Zyrtec and be fine for a brief visit.
 
im sure there aspects of the girlfriend's life that could lead you to say you wouldnt visit her house! dont feel bad - you have chosen to have rabbits in your life. your house your rules! you cant live your life to suit someone elses. if she is that allergic then i would guess she regularly takes medication.

:)


 
Thanks for your replies. I go back and forth and mostly land on it's MY house so deal with it. But a part of me is a little bummed my brother can't just visit when his girlfriend is busy or something...oh well.
 
Honestly, I don't like the word "allergic"

Most people are test tube found to be allergic to something, but rarely find the degree to which they are allergic.

It just may be she gets a runny nose.

Most people are not severly allergic to anything; they just have mild reaction.

Just like, everyone in the world is allergic to cow's milk..and yes everyone (we are the only animal to drink another animals milk) because of the enzymes..but some people have worse reactions. Some people can die, some people get uncomfortable bowel movements, and some people, it doesn't even faze them.

If she is severely allergic, it does suck, but your brother needs to realize he needs to visit you without her still often..

But technically, I am allergic to chinchillas and I own three. Well, allergic to thier dander and dust. When they take dust baths, or if I hold them close (Which usually isn't a huge problem since they are so independent) I sneeze and get a runny nose for a couple hours.

BUT unlike most people, I suck it up and deal with it.

If your brothers girlfriend just sneezes a bit and gets a runny nose, I think she also needs to suck it up.

Honestly, I think the "I am allergic" excuse is pathetic on most accounts.
 
Myia09 wrote:
Honestly, I don't like the word "allergic"

Most people are test tube found to be allergic to something, but rarely find the degree to which they are allergic.

It just may be she gets a runny nose.

Most people are not severly allergic to anything; they just have mild reaction.

Just like, everyone in the world is allergic to cow's milk..and yes everyone (we are the only animal to drink another animals milk) because of the enzymes..but some people have worse reactions. Some people can die, some people get uncomfortable bowel movements, and some people, it doesn't even faze them.

If she is severely allergic, it does suck, but your brother needs to realize he needs to visit you without her still often..

But technically, I am allergic to chinchillas and I own three. Well, allergic to thier dander and dust. When they take dust baths, or if I hold them close (Which usually isn't a huge problem since they are so independent) I sneeze and get a runny nose for a couple hours.

BUT unlike most people, I suck it up and deal with it.

If your brothers girlfriend just sneezes a bit and gets a runny nose, I think she also needs to suck it up.

Honestly, I think the "I am allergic" excuse is pathetic on most accounts.
I asked her how allergic she was and she said if she's in a room with a rabbit her throat will begin to close up and she will have a hard time breathing. She even tries to avoid rabbits for sale in the "open air" like at a flea market.
 
Myia, plenty of people can have severe allergies to plants, animals, or anything else. It might not cause death, but it can cause severe discomfort that goes beyond just sucking it up.

Still, renaelock, don't feel bad! You'll just have to do things with them outside of the house. No biggie. Or she might find some relief if she can take an allergy medicine and inhaler 30min before coming over (it may or may not work). But at the end of the day it's your house and your life, so you shouldn't feel bad about having rabbits as pets because someone else (who isn't even related to you) is allergic.
 
If you live some place where its warm you can have your visits with your brother and his girlfriend outside. if its not feasible than you can meet them someplace else or go to their house every couple weeks. YOU'RE not the one allergic so why shouldn't you have bunnies!:bunnyheart
 
I honestly think that that is really silly. Its not like they are married, and even if they do get married in the future I really dont think you should be basing your big life choices off your brothers girlfriend.

I could see your mom being a little annoyed if you had gotten a cat or something that your brother was very very allergic to. I am allergic to cats and to be honest I would be pretty upset if my sister had gotten one anyway. The great thing about rabbits is that they can be kept in one room, often times in a cage.

Don't you think your brothers girlfriend could just not go near the rabbit? I really doubt she is SO allergic that she cant be in the same house with them.
 
elrohwen wrote:
Myia, plenty of people can have severe allergies to plants, animals, or anything else. It might not cause death, but it can cause severe discomfort that goes beyond just sucking it up.

Still, renaelock, don't feel bad! You'll just have to do things with them outside of the house. No biggie. Or she might find some relief if she can take an allergy medicine and inhaler 30min before coming over (it may or may not work). But at the end of the day it's your house and your life, so you shouldn't feel bad about having rabbits as pets because someone else (who isn't even related to you) is allergic.

That would be under "Severely allergic"

;)

BUT on that point..I still think a lot of people with allergies make a big deal of it because the simple itching, runny nose, sneezing, and cloudiness is too much to deal with. Rashes, insane itching, constant sneezing (I sneeze I would say constant), is more of a severe reaction. But most people don't even know how they will react..test tube allergies are horrific!
 
Many people are quite badly allergic to plants (hay fever) including many members of my family (luckily I was spared, and only have itchy eyes and sneeze about 8 or 9 times a day, which is fine), and I have seen them suffer. Bright red eyes, watering. Sneezing and flaky, sore noses from constant tissues. Not nice at all. Most are on anti-whatsits or whatever you take, all throughout the summer, and eye-drops, and nose squirters etc lol.

I myself am allergic to certain washing up liquid. Do I use gloves when I do the washing up? No :) , because I hate gloves more than my "allergy".

I do agree, though, that sometimes the 'fear' of the fact you are allergic to something sometimes make people drastically over-act the situation lol.

Jen
 
Thanks guys, I feel no guilt now having brought rabbits into my life. I also think my mother dislikes pets anyway so she comes up with stupid reasons why I shouldn't have gotten them. My brothers girlfriend reason was somewhat logical considering they would come over BUT life changes, get over it. ...Speaking of hay fever, I got that this year - Now I can never say I'm not allergic to anything.
 
Lol. Hay fever is ridiculous anyway. It's just people's over-active immune systems lol. Sigh haha

Yeah tbh it's your life. You can't live big decisions in your life (and bringing a pet into your life is a huge decision) by your brother's girlfriend. They could split up in a month. And, plus, her views and opinion have nothing to do with your life, and you can't not live your life to the full because of someone relatively unimportant (atm anyway).

But you don't have to always be at your house. Like someone mentioned- go out for lunch somewhere.

I am sure she (as any decent person would) will say to your brother that she doesn't mind at all if he takes a few hours to visit you on his own. He should be allowed to do that regardless. I wouldn't expect my twin sister to bring her bf down every single time we wanted to get together. I like her bf, but I also just wanna spend time with my sister sometimes.

I think they just wanted to pick, u know.

Jen
 
When I lived at home we had rabbits. We found out I was allergic to them after several Asthma outbreaks. Never had Asthma before but It was my choice to keep them or not.
When my brother met his wife we found she was allergic to Rabbit hair, she to stopped coming over. But if we wanted to hang out with them we'd go out with them. When having family gatherings we picked someone else's house.
I say keep the rabbits and visit the brother and GF outside of the house :)
 
In high school I essentially had two best friends, Christina & Birka. Both Christina and I had rabbits - she had them before I got mine. Birka is severely allergic to rabbits.
If I knew I was going to see Birka I would change my clothes if they had a lot of hair or something on them and she never came over to my mom's house (where the buns were). She used to joke that Christina and I were trying to tell her something by both of us getting rabbits. We said yeah, we really like your house. Basically we'd just hang out there instead.

As long as she's alright being exposed to you after you've had contact with the rabbits, you have nothing to feel bad about. There are plenty of ways for you to spend time together outside of your home.
 
Ha! My sister's boyfriend was allergic to cats and thats why she didnt take her cat when they moved but... their roommates each have a cat and HE holds one I wonder why I still have HER CAT?!! People make up excuses not to keep their animals..... BUT like everyone mentioned- your brothers girlfriend has nothing to do with you, my boyfriend is allergic to horses (-_- I know) but that wont stop me from petting the police horses and the ones at the regatta! I just have to be careful getting their hay stink on me before going to him, just like he has to be careful when cooking not to cross contaminate meat with my food bc Im veggie but thats an entirely different matter... People just gotta suck it up and move on! :p
 
There is a bright side to this "problem" in that they'll never host Thanksgiving at your house.

I have a huge set of relatives and while I like holidays, if you've ever done clean up for 20-30 people at your house, you may appreciate that your pets mean that your family get togethers are held somewhere else.


I do think allergies can be valid but some people do blow it out of proportion just to add drama in their lives. Your situation sounds a bit more like "drama" (not discounting that a real allergy exists). Weirdly enough, I'm allergic to down. I learned this by trying on down filled coats one winter. It was insanely miserable! I was red eyed, coughing, runny eyed-nosed, and itching. That surprised me! Funny enough, I have no allergic response to bunnies, dogs, horses. But, I'm mildly allergic to cats.
 

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