Should I confront my fiancé about lying/being a jerk?

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akane

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First does he believe his lies? I had a bf who would remake events in his head especially if made a mistake and after awhile actually believe thats what happened or he'd tell different versions because he couldn't accept events. This got worse over time and if several people called him on it ha would just say we were against him. It took a year to convince him something was wrong and then he was too embarrassed to ask for a psych referral. I eventually left him because things got so bad and actually called his mom to come get him from halfway across the country. She sent him to a psychiatrist but last I heard from him he was still lying. He told me he mastered 4 computer programming languages in a year at his new college. Who even knows if he was going to college.
Its important to determine just how much he believes his lies because it can be a mental illness that needs professional treatment.
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blwinteler

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I'm just curious - what did you end up doing? How did it go?

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TinysMom

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I'm just now seeing this thread and also wondering how things are going.

I know your fiancee' probably seems awesome other than this - but I have got to say that if it were me - I would back away.

My dad was a compulsive liar - I'm not even sure he could look at a clock and tell you the time of day without finding a way to lie about it. It made my mother's life difficult and last year I wound up going to stay with him for 12 weeks and it made my life horrid. I swear the man couldn't tell the truth to save his life (it didn't help that by now dementia was setting in). The worst part is....he could lie and make it sound so right and true...even down to claiming time and date, etc. when an event happened. (Yes, I double-checked on things cause I knew he was a liar).

I'm not saying people like that don't deserve to be loved....they do. But without help in breaking the lying (and I'm honestly not sure they can break it) - they simply make the lives of those who love them....miserable.

Just my .02.
 

jessie-lynn

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I have a friend who is in exactly the same situation. She's just started telling him even when he's mid sentence that she knows what really happened. Turns out he thought she was too god for him and was trying too impress her, even after being together for years he thought she was going to breakup with him if he told her how things really were, or was unexciting.. Things are getting better for her though good luck hun xoxo
 

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